Want to commit suicide any painless ways?

[Jeepcarpenter]

It's just so hard to be friends with couples especially with young kids.

Cody and his wife have a newborn baby and they are cuddling it which made me feel low and sad.

Then you got the other Tony with a beautiful wife and two daughters even with the job I wanted but was too stupid for College which he also completed.

Then another couple shows there 2 year old. Yet most women ignore me I just don't get how they can find their partner.

I’m very sorry you feel like this Tony.. I can’t say that I understand. I can only say that I have been suicidal since about the age of 8, more pronounced from the age of 12 and on.. I just celebrated 21yrs with my wife on the 22nd, with our 4yo baby girl, the epitome of my life’s work..

and yet.. I am trying to get them to hate me it seems.. because I don’t want to be here anymore.. again.. I thought I was over it, thought I’d moved past it finally.. yet here it is again, rearing it’s ugly head.. wishing I were alone instead, out in the middle of nowhere with nobody to pay notice to me..

My daughter is absolute perfection in my eyes.. my wife my best friend.. yet I want nothing more for them to leave me be to this wretched way of thinking.. because I always find some way to make them hurt somehow, without even trying to.. but.. I -am- trying to now.. because I am tired.. and I am frustrated.. and I don’t want them to see me suffer, or to suffer from me..

I want to wander into the woods and die.. I walked 17km’s last night, in pouring rain, coyote infested fields, marshes and backroads.. left everything behind at just sat staring up at the night sky for hours and hours..

I have everything I could possibly want in life… and still want to throw it all away.. and I do know a few ways to go silently into the night without worry of suffering.. but I will not share them.

I am on the verge of calling a crisis line, and still hope that my family will leave me behind.. so please.. don’t put your faith on having someone else to solve your feelings and burdens.. you have to help yourself..

And even being the hypocrite that I am.. cannot do as I preach.. I’m sorry you feel this way, truly. I hope you find better days.. I did find them.. and now they’ve gone away…

Edit: It seems the grass is always greener, in the other fields you have longed to wander..

 

[Au Naturel]

I’m very sorry you feel like this Tony.. I can’t say that I understand. I can only say that I have been suicidal since about the age of 8, more pronounced from the age of 12 and on.. I just celebrated 21yrs with my wife on the 22nd, with our 4yo baby girl, the epitome of my life’s work..

and yet.. I am trying to get them to hate me it seems.. because I don’t want to be here anymore.. again.. I thought I was over it, thought I’d moved past it finally.. yet here it is again, rearing it’s ugly head.. wishing I were alone instead, out in the middle of nowhere with nobody to pay notice to me..

My daughter is absolute perfection in my eyes.. my wife my best friend.. yet I want nothing more for them to leave me be to this wretched way of thinking.. because I always find some way to make them hurt somehow, without even trying to.. but.. I -am- trying to now.. because I am tired.. and I am frustrated.. and I don’t want them to see me suffer, or to suffer from me..

I want to wander into the woods and die.. I walked 17km’s last night, in pouring rain, coyote infested fields, marshes and backroads.. left everything behind at just sat staring up at the night sky for hours and hours..

I have everything I could possibly want in life… and still want to throw it all away.. and I do know a few ways to go silently into the night without worry of suffering.. but I will not share them.

I am on the verge of calling a crisis line, and still hope that my family will leave me behind.. so please.. don’t put your faith on having someone else to solve your feelings and burdens.. you have to help yourself..

And even being the hypocrite that I am.. cannot do as I preach.. I’m sorry you feel this way, truly. I hope you find better days.. I did find them.. and now they’ve gone away…

Edit: It seems the grass is always greener, in the other fields you have longed to wander..

That's the depression talking. I was constantly considering suicide myself from about 10 right up to my freshman year in college. But when I got away from the environment that was depressing me and found some people who accepted me for who I was, the depression lightened up. But then a couple of decades later, it came back again for various reasons and stayed until my 60s. And then it left again and I tapered off the Prozac.

There is nothing wrong with going on Prozac or whatever SSRI works for you. It sounds like you are not looking for any kind of therapy and you should. If you don't, maybe you are enjoying your depression too much to let it go.

Walking 17 km at night, in the pouring rain, coyote-infested fields, marshes, and backroads sounds simply brilliant. It is the kind of thing that would make me feel alive. An amazing psychological and sensory experience.

 

[Jeepcarpenter]

Exactly what it was.. trying to unearth the want to continue.. to abolish the horrendous thoughts and future apparitions.. to draw the strength of nature as my own senses continually betray and drain me.. trying to keep going, the pain of the journey giving something to ground to, anything but the hate and frustration er circling my mind.. it was a rather lovely stroll. Didn’t work, but kept the energy for another day.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Now I am getting depressed again reading this post. Many who are replying are married with kids. Makes me feel more of a loser.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I’m very sorry you feel like this Tony.. I can’t say that I understand. I can only say that I have been suicidal since about the age of 8, more pronounced from the age of 12 and on.. I just celebrated 21yrs with my wife on the 22nd, with our 4yo baby girl, the epitome of my life’s work..

and yet.. I am trying to get them to hate me it seems.. because I don’t want to be here anymore.. again.. I thought I was over it, thought I’d moved past it finally.. yet here it is again, rearing it’s ugly head.. wishing I were alone instead, out in the middle of nowhere with nobody to pay notice to me..

My daughter is absolute perfection in my eyes.. my wife my best friend.. yet I want nothing more for them to leave me be to this wretched way of thinking.. because I always find some way to make them hurt somehow, without even trying to.. but.. I -am- trying to now.. because I am tired.. and I am frustrated.. and I don’t want them to see me suffer, or to suffer from me..

I want to wander into the woods and die.. I walked 17km’s last night, in pouring rain, coyote infested fields, marshes and backroads.. left everything behind at just sat staring up at the night sky for hours and hours..

I have everything I could possibly want in life… and still want to throw it all away.. and I do know a few ways to go silently into the night without worry of suffering.. but I will not share them.

I am on the verge of calling a crisis line, and still hope that my family will leave me behind.. so please.. don’t put your faith on having someone else to solve your feelings and burdens.. you have to help yourself..

And even being the hypocrite that I am.. cannot do as I preach.. I’m sorry you feel this way, truly. I hope you find better days.. I did find them.. and now they’ve gone away…

Edit: It seems the grass is always greener, in the other fields you have longed to wander..

It seems that you step back and celebrate what you have despite your neurology. Do you have old trauma that has you separating from some sources of joy in your life? Perhaps accommodate with "me" time?

I feel for you and hope that you may internalize the positive thoughts about your relationships with your spouse and child. You deserve a fulfilling life.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Yet most women ignore me I just don't get how they can find their partner.

I used to think most women did not notice me, and that is true to a degree, and there were some who noticed but I could not process the interest. How do they find a parter? Their partners most likely introduced themselves and were able to demonstrate their potential. Until you can step up and advocate for yourself you are never going to give those women the opportunity to choose you.

 

[Misery]

Now I am getting depressed again reading this post. Many who are replying are married with kids. Makes me feel more of a loser.

There are also plenty who arent, though.

It's quite a mixed bag around here.

 

[Matthias]

There's only one thing I want to say at the moment really: try to keep in mind that those being critical probably still want the best for you. That's why they're critical. That's why *I* am critical.

Yeah, I know, that's kinda hard to grasp, as it's probably not how it feels, but it is true nonetheless. These things arent said to you to be hurtful... they're said merely because sometimes the tough stuff needs to be said. If I was the one who needed some tough advice, I would expect no less from those trying to help.

Uh... yeah that's all I've got right now.

I think it's worth mentioning that the way @Tony Ramirez responds to advice is similar to that of many autistic people. I've tried telling people on this forum who wrongly believed they were being bullied or gaslighted that they were misunderstanding the situation, that everyone wasn't out to get them, and that changing the way they think and act would greatly improve how they felt. Their responses were nearly identical. They felt attacked, ignored my advice, kept blaming everyone else for their problems, and continued to see themselves as helpless victims. Like Tony, they wanted the rest of society to cater to their sensitivities instead of working to overcome them which appeared to be motivated by a distorted belief of "I can't change. Therefore, everyone else should change to meet my needs." I wish more autistic people knew how much their own negative thinking patterns contributed to their problems and realized the world isn't nearly as bad as they think it is.

 

[tree]

Now I am getting depressed again reading this post. Many who are replying are married with kids. Makes me feel more of a loser.

Replies by people who are married with kids don't make you feel like a loser.
You are making yourself feel that way by what you tell yourself.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Replies by people who are married with kids don't make you feel like a loser.
You are making yourself feel that way by what you tell yourself.

I'm just surprised so many with ASD are married but like me and @Markness it seems we try and try but nothing happens.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I'm just surprised so many with ASD are married but like me and @Markness it seems we try and try but nothing happens.

Yet you insist on never changing yourself, so, how are you trying. It was not easy for any of us with our social and communication issues. In many ways we had to be proactive to learn, adapt, and prepare ourselves for a relationship. What are your plans to do such?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Well smart mouth I went to Church this Sunday and after we were making sandwiches. I went up to two woman who were talking and I tried to introduce myself after asking on of them to repeat what they said. One of them did then they both left together. If that's not rejection then I don't know what is.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Well smart mouth I went to Church this Sunday and after we were making sandwiches. I went up to two woman who were talking and I tried to introduce myself after asking on of them to repeat what they said. One of them did then they both left together. If that's not rejection then I don't know what is.

It is not rejection. With that Introduction you are now known to them. Now it is up to you to repeat greeting them in a friendly manner. If they did not give you their names, you now have a further opening for follow up. And, in obtaining a relationship, follow up is truly important. Becoming a known quantity is your goal now.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I can't stand living alone while all of my friends and family are married with kids.

I tried everything I am capable but all I got out of it was couples as friends which makes me feel worse when they show their wife and new borns.

I try life groups but I ignored by one girl. Meanwhile it's full of couples and kids. I go back to Justin life group which was a disaster yesterday. A new girl shows up which made me smile until she started to talk about her boyfriend and would not shut up. Then a new couple joins. I get home ticked off and depressed with Justin telling me not to be angry.

Then today my local park was doing a hangout. I get there at 5 pm while the event started at 6.By 6:30 the park is full of people and not one person even came up to me to say hi. Meanwhile there were two guys sitting next to me for only a few minutes and a woman approached them and they socializing. Even a blonde girl sitting far away from the crowd was approached while I was ignored.

I am home now and I am sick of this crap and life. What will happen if I take a bottle over 400 pills of over the counter pain killers.

You're not alone.
I am 56 and not married with kids, it was a fear of mine as a kid.
Suicide is not the answer.
Your conscious awareness stays here, feeling more agony, while you lose your body.
I tried, I took an accidental overdose and never got an ambulance to inject naltrexone.
I've seen ghosts.
I am not religious and I don't care for woo-woo, I am skeptical, but ghosts exist.
They are our "invisible" parts, the parts that think and feel.
A sensitive person can pick up ghosts really easily, I think I can feel their subtle presence.
I have seen two.
Don't be a ghost.
Don't try too hard to make friends.
I do what I want, and good friends come naturally.
I got ignored by someone, I was with the wrong group of people, a man preyed on me and sulked as he could not have sex with me, so ignored me.
It hurt at the time, but this is immature behaviours and I have no time in my life for people who behave like this, so I eventually blocked him.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Tony, you need this more than any single person I know: The Importance of Being Single - The School Of Life
"One of the most important preconditions of a good relationship is a satisfactory perspective on being single. The more we are happy to be on our own, the more we will be able to exercise the correct degree of caution around finding a new companion. The bedrock of true love is happy singledom.

Yet our societies do very little to help us to be calm or at ease in our own company. Singledom is framed as an involuntary, depressing and always hopefully temporary state. The notion that someone might want or need to be on their own, perhaps for a long while, terrifies a world shaped by legions of silently miserable couples who need confirmation that they have not chosen the wrong path."

 

[NB79]

hey, you know, 50% of men in general are single.

and look this:

The poll of 1,254 adults aged 18 and older found that 27 percent of millennials have no close friends, 25 percent have no “acquaintances” and 22 percent — or 1 in 5 — have no buddies at all. This compares with only 9 percent of Baby Boomers and 15 percent of Gen Xers who reported having zero chums.

Spoiler

1 in 5 millennials are lonely and have ‘no friends’: survey

The poll of 1,254 adults aged 18 and older found that 27 percent of millennials have no close friends, 25 percent have no “acquaintances” and 22 percent — or 1 in 5 — have no buddies at all. This compares with only 9 percent of Baby Boomers and 15 percent of Gen Xers who reported having zero chums.

A third of the 20- and 30-somethings also reported feeling lonely often or always, compared with 20 percent of Gen Xers and 15 percent of boomers. (Sext-happy Gen Z was not included in the survey results, nor was the older Silent Generation.)

On the bright side, close to half — 49 percent — of millennials said they had one to four “close friends” and 70 percent said they had at least one “best friend.” Although, based on the other stats, that best friend is possibly their only friend.

Also, 38 percent of millennials reported having made a new friend in the last six months. The most common place for Americans to make friends? High school, according to 87 percent of respondents.

 

[Rodafina]

I am extremely late to the conversation here… Had to crawl out of my own suicidal cave.

Tony, I am a 40ish-year-old single female without children… A female mammal without children is quite an anomaly indeed to many in this society.

So many have said so much all that I can say is that we who are truly suicidal cannot be saved by a mate or a relationship. Sometimes, we who are so down and lonely and desperate are simply not capable of a relationship where we are in our lives. If we think it through, someone like you or myself, who is so saddened by it all we are ready to die…. Once in a relationship, there is so much up and down and give and take and potential for rejection. Even in a relationship, we would have to deal with these suicidal thoughts as a reaction to the way we experience, pain and hardship and sorrow. If we really think it through to the end, finding a partner, and having it go well, still includes the ever present risk of losing them through life or through death.

If there was any point, I am trying to make, I guess that it is we must be okay with living for ourselves. If we do not have the will to live for ourselves, I think we must find that first. Much love and compassion to you, I am hurting, too, but I find myself in a place to say I think we should fight. I think we should live.

 

[Matthias]

The poll of 1,254 adults aged 18 and older found that 27 percent of millennials have no close friends, 25 percent have no “acquaintances” and 22 percent — or 1 in 5 — have no buddies at all. This compares with only 9 percent of Baby Boomers and 15 percent of Gen Xers who reported having zero chums.

Very sad but not surprising given how many children have poor social skills because their parents neglected them.

Childhood emotional neglect, once rare, is now very common in some communities.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My late grandmother made sure I had good social skills when I was a kid. I use to not talk so she taught me before I attended school

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I got ignored by someone, I was with the wrong group of people, a man preyed on me and sulked as he could not have sex with me, so ignored me.

Being ignored by entitled jerks is a blessing. Yes, I have seen such behavior and continually wonder about guys who think it is acceptable to act that way. It is a behavior that I am incapable of for many reasons, especially as I was painfully shy.