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What Do You Do When You Like Someone?

[QUOTE="kyliewyote, It may not always work out, which was my first attempt 2 months ago with a fail, and ya, it makes you feel pretty sheepish. But in reading the forum, I decided to gently try one more time.....this was decided via reading a lot of this forum, where some folks said to be gently persistent since Aspies may be very hesitant. [/QUOTE]

Hi kyliewyote It makes me very happy to think I may have helped you find love...I think that, (gently persistent), remark was mine I almost erased it ..I was worried it might..chum the stalkers..but I decided at the last minuet to leave it, as it might nudge some one over the line into happiness some where. It is nice to know I did something right.:rolleyes: I'm still trying to find someone, but I'm not doing too good on the first approach stuff,:( even worse online,:( I have no idea what hidden online eddicate rules I'm breaking. But maybe I will fall on my face in a field of flowers one of these days. Good luck on your love thing I hope it goes well for you.:)
 
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Thanks Maelstrom...I guess the right words at the right time, huh? "Found love" will work itself out in the future or not, but he's unique, and being able to talk about where we are made things very comfortable. For what I know, he has only had one girlfriend for only a short time, about 12 years ago, and I believe he's 38. Maybe I'm that field of flowers for him. And I hope a field of flowers will flop you in the face! :)
 
kyliewyote said:
Thanks Maelstrom...I guess the right words at the right time, huh? "Found love" will work itself out in the future or not, but he's unique, and being able to talk about where we are made things very comfortable. For what I know, he has only had one girlfriend for only a short time, about 12 years ago, and I believe he's 38. Maybe I'm that field of flowers for him. And I hope a field of flowers will flop you in the face! :)
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Ha ha! yes as a auspie I may be stupid enough my bride will need to beat me into submission with the bouquet.:p I believe that it is not uncommon at all for us AS people to hold off on romance until late in life.:rolleyes: I think that the river of feelings and all the changes are just too overwhelming early on, :eek: but as the wiring in the mind fills in and the black tide recedes they feel more able to handle love and the changes it brings.:) It is possible that if people dating those of us with AS could learn to approach things more softly, and work through the change stuff slowly, and carefully, that many of us would choose to marry earlier. :D here comes the bride.....:rose::rose::rose::rolleyes:
 
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I'll have to search the forum....my guy's emails are like poetry and I don't think it's necessarily on purpose. He expresses things so differently from anyone else I've known. You seem to have a lovely way with words as well. Maybe that's another aspie trait.....

And being a bride / married for me isn't necessarily the goal -- it's the person-person care and sharing that matter to me.
 
kyliewyote said:
I'll have to search the forum....my guy's emails are like poetry and I don't think it's necessarily on purpose. He expresses things so differently from anyone else I've known. You seem to have a lovely way with words as well. Maybe that's another aspie trait.....

And being a bride / married for me isn't necessarily the goal -- it's the person-person care and sharing that matter to me.
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Hi kyliewyote Ha! just got your name funny:p. Thank you, I try to put a little extra in my writing, I'm trying to cultivate that sort of elegant arc you see in unforgettable stuff. I'm not sure I'm good enough yet, I want my words to move like waves in the ocean.:ocean: I can't speak for others but I know that there is a certain beautiful symmetry to my auspie imaging mind, I guess weather someone can love that depends on how deep they look for beauty.;) I think many lovely people get over looked because no one took the time to see the whole person.:( As a kindness I should warn you tho to take some care, some of us, (not me as far as I know), have OCDs that can be difficult to deal with some times.:( But we also often have great hidden talents too and beautiful minds.:D One thing with us the menu is never boring.:p
 
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I'm able to keep cool and not be awkward around someone I like, but I just don't know what to do afterward. I don't know when it's okay to reveal my feelings to them, I don't know how to tell if they like me back or not...it's a mess and it makes me depressed. I can talk to girls on a friendship level quite well, and I've made some very good female friends; I just don't know how to take the next step with them.
 
absolutely nothing (eg nothing different then what I normally do, it's not gonna happen so why delude myself with those thoughts, it goes way and life returns to normal)
 
I try in my own awkward way to show them that I am interested. I find it very hard to ask them out on a date . It feels like my biggest weakness as a human being .
 
I try to make sure it is someone I am comfortable with. If we can't have a conversation, then what's to like, really? And besides, I have to find out first if they have a disagreeable personality. Then maybe hanging out/more hanging out, and then, if there's a chance of it going in that direction, maybe cuddles :3
 
I'm generally awkward around people I like. But I'm awkward around new people in general too. I more or less get to know them and become friends and see if we actually have a chance.
 
I really go out on limbs when it comes to girls I have a crush on. It's like an internal debate with me and my subconscious. I'm like panic attack nervous. Here's one conversation I had with myself in my head.
Sub: "Get the ?$@& over there and talk to her." I go what if she thinks I'm weird?
Me: what if she thinks I'm weird.
Sub: "you're talking to yourself in your head which is almost the same as talking to yourself just not as obvious. You're weird already."
Me: what if she says no or laughs at me?
Sub: "one nobody's that mean and two then you're back where you started at but if you go over there and she likes you too you've got a date. Now are you a man or a gutless jellyfish?"
Me: ok I'm going to do it and I've gotta stop conversing with myself in my head.

Long story short she said yes we dated for a while and she moves away. We decide to end it while its still real and end of story
 
I find it easy to talk to girls I like because of over 20 years of practice. However, I'm useless at picking up signals that someone is into me unless it's blatantly obvious.

Again I always want what seems to be hard to reach but I'm getting old now just want an easier life. Sadly, when some girls have played their 'games' like keep them mean keep them keen by not texting etc then it's backfired because I've just cut them out promptly. Games don't work with me lol!
 
I have my own idea of justice too. My loyalty is as wide as the ocean till you betray me then you're in the kiddie pool for life, that's if you get me to forgive.
 
I talk to them on subjects I like e.g Science fiction, Programming and see how they respond. :)
 
The only way that happens is when a girl comes up to me when I play guitar at the mall in the summer which doesn't happen as often as movies make it out too
 
LeroyT1000 said:
I find it easy to talk to girls I like because of over 20 years of practice. However, I'm useless at picking up signals that someone is into me unless it's blatantly obvious.

Again I always want what seems to be hard to reach but I'm getting old now just want an easier life. Sadly, when some girls have played their 'games' like keep them mean keep them keen by not texting etc then it's backfired because I've just cut them out promptly. Games don't work with me lol!
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I think it is a good thing that you don't play " games " . I would suspect some male Aspies who don't easily get into relationships may be vulnerable to the sort of person . It is an advantage to think in a black and white way in that kind of situation.
 
I'm the annoying one that simply comes out and says "Hey, I like you, want to ask me on a date?" I either get scowled at and ignored or, I get a laugh and a date. I don't see the point in hinting around and trying to figure out if they like me or not. I'll never figure it out unless I ask them so, I just go for it and skip the whole analyzing and guessing part. I get my answer ASAP and, go from there, either we go out together or we don't, at least I know if they like me or not right away.
 
Beverly said:
I'm the annoying one that simply comes out and says "Hey, I like you, want to ask me on a date?" I either get scowled at and ignored or, I get a laugh and a date. I don't see the point in hinting around and trying to figure out if they like me or not. I'll never figure it out unless I ask them so, I just go for it and skip the whole analyzing and guessing part. I get my answer ASAP and, go from there, either we go out together or we don't, at least I know if they like me or not right away.
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At least you're not having an internal debate about it
 
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