What traits would you put you off dating someone

[thejuice]

Reality TV yes I'd agree. I find I'm too sensitive for it. It was novel when it first came out around 2000 and I did watch it but I put it down to immaturity. Problem with reality is it's boring so they have to 'sex it up'.

 

[thejuice]

There is a person in the bar I go to that is very elegant looking but I keep overhearing them complaining about things with an audience of their coworkers. They skive in the toilets too! That pretty much killed any superficial attraction I had (devastating for them I know )

 

[thejuice]

There was someone I knew who was into alternative, new age mystic kind of things. That was a turn off. Been there done that with someone else. They also kept sending me reality TV clips haha

 

[thejuice]

It just occurred to me that for someone who doesn't date much I sure am picky

 

[Aspychata]

I don't like people that think everything is a competition and they have to be right and hold it over your head. That is a red nasty flag. Double messages are very difficult for me, so that is half a red flag.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

For me it's dishonesty, in the past I looked past it and it came back to bite me. Lying and fraudulent behaviour.

Someone into conspiracy theories and knee deep in that culture. It shows a lack of discernment.

Someone showing their victim card the *moment* they meet you.

Someone that's stubborn and isn't able to change their mind. Extremely frustrating.

Someone that doesn't support you when disrespected. Shows they don't respect you. Yuck.

Someone who tells you TMI stuff about their ex.

Someone who is mean with nasty and close minded and controlling views

Someone who is lazy and expects you to do everything

Someone who is self centred
Someone with bad hygiene
Someone who does not bother at all to dress up a little to impress you
Someone arrogant
Someone who does not care about others
Someone who whines and complains a lot about everything
Someone who calls women fat
Someone who disrespects women on purpose
Someone who tells you to eat less
Someone who is dishonest with you in the slightest unless they made are mistake and are willing to apologise
Someone who will not back down on arguments
Someone in your face
Someone who gets angry too frequently
Someone with no sympathy and compassion
Someone who pulls apart members of your family even when they are wrong
Someone who sees no point in Christian faith
Someone who does not like art

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Problem with reality is it's boring so they have to 'sex it up'.

That is definitely the attitude. Anyone who finds reality boring is someone I'd run from.

 

[marc_101]

Maybe only one: meanness towards others and animals.

Also, I'd suggest not making long lists of turn-offs. Keep an open mind. We wouldn't like to be dismissed just by something that can be changed or that doesn't reflect our true self.

 

[Misty Avich]

I wouldn't want to be with an alcoholic or someone who does illegal drugs.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who controls me (a control freak). My family has always assumed I'll be vulnerable and oblivious to toxicity in a person, but I'm not. My anxiety gets the better of me, and if I know I'm being treated unfairly or abusively then I am unable to tolerate it and would have to escape or tell someone.

I prefer older men, so I don't think I could date someone younger than 45. It seems that most men my age or younger seem to look the same; full head of hair with a neatly trimmed beard. Good-looking, yes, but just doesn't do anything for me. I prefer men who are balding and are even fat (but not as in dangerously obese). I just think they seem more like individuals rather than trendy, and I'm drawn to individuality.
It's like at work, I feel so much more comfortable around the older guys. I don't know why. And there's a new guy there who is only in his 20s, and he doesn't stop talking, seems very outgoing and full of this social energy and has this sort of cocky body language about him. He has a full head of thatched hair with no hint of baldness or grey, and is just not like the older guys I'm used to. I know there is one guy there who is my age but at least he's bald (head shaved) and isn't cocky or impressionable or full of himself.

But for men in their 20s and 30s, please don't take offense to that, as one opinion of preference from one woman does not speak for every woman (or gay man) nor indicates any judgement from young men personally. It's just my personal taste. I've just always been drawn to older men.

 

[thejuice]

Oh yes control freaks are out

 

[paloftoon]

Someone who makes fun of me and doesn't have anything to offer back to make up for it.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Having a massive ego and being self centered, being condescending towards me and brushing off everything I say as if it were nothing, abusive behavior towards me or others, ridiculing me, and trying to force me to be someone I am not and never will be. There are more but I can’t think of them right now.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

1. Narcissistic traits (You may have issues, problems, and concerns, but I'm a master in how to flip it into how it affects me. You are not allowed to have more attention than me)
2. Pathological lying
3. Sociopathic traits (I've learned how to manipulate people. There may be consequences for my actions, but not today)
4. Psychopathic traits (Not a thought in my head how my actions affect others. All impulse. I do things in the moment without thought. Don't care. Catch me if you can.)

I am so grateful for your response, NeonatalRRT. I am just learning about personality disorders. It was not something I was taught back in the dark ages when I was in school. More alarmingly, it did not come up in continuing ed for all the nursing and support coordination work I did.

I assumed personality disorders were only the serial murders and great exploitative liars like Bernie Madoff.

Turns out quite a few "normal" people have personality disorders that can affect and damage a person. Turns out I have been one of their victims.

 

[Kaz2012]

Dishonesty
Narcissism
Cruel to animals or animal hater
Extremism - in politics, religion, anything really

I don't mind an interest in conspiracy theories - this is different to believing them all. I myself love to study conspiracy theories and how they work - some are great fun....so I would like someone to talk to them about. There was a funny doco on flat earth theorists and how they did an experiment that proved their theory wrong and of course they did not accept the results...

 

[kriss72]

Been thinking about this thread for a while, there are many reasons mentioned that would also be a no-go for me - but was walking along a road the other day, someone who litters in nature and don't care about it, would be a total no-go, I couldn't live with that, it would be like a kick in my stomach each time it happened.

 

[saturnv]

If someone can't get along with cats, I don't trust them.

 

[Aspychata]

No compassion, too much criticism. That is very tough for me. People that tell me to be a certain way, yet don't practice it themselves, seems hypocritical. People that expect me to fail, or expect me to be perfect. It's just not happening.

 

[Darkkin]

The doormat mentality is a big one. We may not be able to control our circumstances, but we do have the ability to actively work toward changing them.

In short: Have brain, does function, so why aren't you using it?

The emotional immaturity of chronic validation seekers and the imbalances they can cause are profound, impacting anyone in proximity.

Sadly a lot of the validation seeker/victim mentality folks don't consciously understand what their behaviour is doing to those around them.

With narcissist(s), sociopath(s), and psychopath(s), they are acutely aware of what their emotional manipulation can do.

The awareness of that behaviour makes a big difference. One can be remedied with time and growth, the other is an immutable state of being.

 

[Cryptid]

If someone can't get along with cats, I don't trust them.

And if someone IS a cat, that excuses everything!

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

Make sure she is not asexual or doesn't have problems, issues with physical intimacy