What's wrong with me

[Streetwise]

do /did you get more than five hours of sleep a night, lack of sleep is torturous

Ok I am going to post here for some input because I don't feel anyone up to now had been able to help me figure out what's going on with me. I have had the same symptoms for years since middle/high school. They are, rapid, sudden mood swings on the drop of a hat, that go from zero to 100 in seconds, sometimes a few times a day. I can be feeling relatively calm but then something will set me off into a rage and I will see only red and flip out. I get very very angry. It could be anything from seeing an unclean house to a scratch on my car to feeling slighted by someone. This can also be extreme sadness, I could be fine but the next moment feel deeply deeply sad or depressed but not too long after, feel fairly calm again. During these times too, I can get extremely amped up and act very impulsively,which has gotten me into some financial trouble because I tend to impulse buy if I'm feeling amped up, excited, or antsy. I tend to get this amped up, hyper aware mood that seems to overpower the rest, that dominates my personality. My mood swings seem to be getting worse. They are occuring multiple times a day. I got into a major shouting and raging match against my friend because I felt her cat had scratched my car. I lost it. I never get violent, but I just rage and shout. Or if it's sadness, I will lock myself in my room until (usually an hour or two later) my mood will improve. As I said these moods can change rapidly and on the drop of a hat. I also along with all of this have a terribly short attention span and am extremely easily distracted. I also have a history since I can remember of feeling very unstable. I tend to get intense interests for a short time in something, then rapidly lose interest, then come back to it again. This lately has also cost me a ton of money. But it's like I get these intense compulsions in line with my mood swings, and I don't feel in control of myself.

I just want to know what's going on with me. I was told at one point (largely by my own suggestion at the time) that I was very midly autistic but I now highly doubt this because I don't fit any of the autism characteristics. I am very verbal, very in tune with facial recognition, and have no problems at all socializing. I was told by one psychiatrist that I was bipolar, but I don't have a mood that lasts for months on end. My moods can shift rapidly during one day. I am having rather extreme thoughts of being excluded and persecuted by people, and not included. I am also during my fairly brief depressive states having suicidal thoughts. I am prescribed lexapro for anxiety but I secretly am not taking it because I am afraid of anti depressants. I only take xanax as needed for anxiety. Most of this I have not told my current psychiatrist I guess because I have been afraid to. I feel increasingly like I am out of control in my own head due to the mood swings I get. Does anyone here relate to these symptoms? What do they sound like? Thanks for reading and for any insights!

 

[Momo]

There's actually a lot of things your condition could be, ranging from borderline personality disorder, ADHD, bipolar and so many more. Pinpointing can be very difficult when you're not a professional, perhaps research the suggestions mentioned in prior posts (many seem quite good), and decide which fits you best then bring it up with your psychiatrist or whoever it is you're seeing (hopefully someone).

 

[Robby]

The thing is is that I don't have depression though. I have short, spurts of intense sadness or brief depression, and feeling persecuted or excluded, but these are always brief and shift into a different mood fairly rapidly. Then I can just as suddenly feel euphoric, vivacious, flirty, and confident before the smallest thing shifts me into another mood. The guy above who mentioned Borderline those symptoms really fit what I experience. I really feel that I was misdiagnosed as having mild autism because I do not fit the autism criteria.

Once, when I saw a different psychiatrist, he diagnosed me as Bipolar NOS and put me on lithium for a brief time.

My understanding of Bipolar I is that it requires that you have manic episodes that last for weeks or months, or depressive states lasting that long? My moods shift rapidly during the span of minutes hours and days.

I never have one mood dominate a particular day. Every day, I experience various moods and some are fine and just your normal mood changes but others can be very angry, sad, or despair. I always feel in turmoil in my head.
Sometimes I feel manic, but I have no sleep problems. I always sleep well. I just don't know what's wrong with me. And Bipolar II is more long periods of depression, which I certainly don't have.
Based on all I have read what seems to fit what I go through best is Borderline Personality Disorder or maybe some other type of personality disorder? But I don't have any self-harming or cutting or anything like that. I do have suicidal thoughts sometimes, but I have never attempted suicide nor have a serious desire to although I do have suicidal thoughts and think about it. I've been dealing with this my whole life and only recently have begun to realize how serious my symptoms are.

 

[Robby]

I saw my psychiatrist today, he said he thinks I have a mood disorder but didn't say what type. He gave me something called Rexulti to take, haven't heard of it before, but he said it should help with my intense mood swings. Not sure if anyone here has heard of it or taken it? Anyways will give it a try I guess.

 

[Streetwise]

I saw my psychiatrist today, he said he thinks I have a mood disorder but didn't say what type. He gave me something called Rexulti to take, haven't heard of it before, but he said it should help with my intense mood swings. Not sure if anyone here has heard of it or taken it? Anyways will give it a try I guess.

blurb from a website called brainprotips.com
says"rexulti was designed to treat schizophrenia and an augment to.major depressive disorder
its safer than abilify and can be given in lower doses
go to the above website as patients are recorded on video talking about their experience of it

 

[Robby]

Yea I looked it up and was kind of surprised to see schizophrenia as I don't think that's what I have, and so not sure if my doc thinks that's what I have..I was expecting him to tell me I have BPD and to do CBT or something. But I guess he's the professional, not me. I never hear voices or hallucinate or anything..but yea..guess he knows best. He just told me "mood disorder".

 

[Robby]

I'm going to have to take a break from this thread because while helpful, talking more about it is making me upset & angry. So I'll break and come back when I feel more in control.

 

[Plant13]

you have got to tell your doctor what youve done is take a powerful medicine and then stop.it too quickly
stopping it that quickly will cause withdrawal you have to wean yourself slowly i did the same thing as you what i did is called going cold turkey or for phobias flooding xanax cant control what youve done
tell the gp.about the occasional xanax use i can tell you down the line IVE committed suicide partly accidentally and you DONT want to be under the thumb of the medical.profession as to how many tablets you are given a week
as withdrawal can make you a candidate for irritational decisions
do you self medicate with alcohol at all
tell your gp everything

Lexapro and Asperghers is a deadly combination. It took 6 years from me. It made my depression come out in new and bizarre manners I could not interpret, I was suicidal and I drove everyone away, isolation is the wrong way to go on Lexapro. You can actually feel the Lexapro rerouting your brain, it sort of hurt, I didn't care for it but it was too late. Take your anxiety meds and hold on tight.

 

[Robby]

I have been having intense mood swings to the point of feeling deeply disturbed. Yesterday at work, I almost had a complete breakdown. I felt paranoid, despair, intense rage, all in the span of a few minutes. The mood swings are getting much worse. I took it upon myself to call my doctor's office and scheduled a therapy session for next week, first time I will be seeing a therapist in almost two years. Maybe it will help. My psychiatrist thinks I have a mood disorder, and is now thinking I do not have autism. I haven't yet tried the rexulti. I'm nervous about it, but also having terrible mood swings and very bad thoughts that are leaving me confused, angry, & exhausted. I hope therapy can help. Does this sound like schizophrenia? Or something else?

 

[Streetwise]

DONT be alone you need someone who is calm to help you
the problem is the human body is complex
as you produce adrenaline due to anxiety that will make the mood swings worse
start trying to focus on something calming, find a quiet place when you have enough time to sit for a while,
mindfulness while take the pressure off your heart and breathing
one of the popular ways is adult colouring books or zen doodling or painting gardening prayer meditate on a peaceful image rest rest rest that means gradually not thinking toxic thoughts more commonly lying or sitting

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

I have been having intense mood swings to the point of feeling deeply disturbed. Yesterday at work, I almost had a complete breakdown. I felt paranoid, despair, intense rage, all in the span of a few minutes. The mood swings are getting much worse. I took it upon myself to call my doctor's office and scheduled a therapy session for next week, first time I will be seeing a therapist in almost two years. Maybe it will help. My psychiatrist thinks I have a mood disorder, and is now thinking I do not have autism. I haven't yet tried the rexulti. I'm nervous about it, but also having terrible mood swings and very bad thoughts that are leaving me confused, angry, & exhausted. I hope therapy can help. Does this sound like schizophrenia? Or something else?

Robby, I am sorry you are not feeling well. I hope you feel better soon.

I am confused about something though. Is the psychiatrist who prescribed rexulti the same one who earlier diagnosed Bipolar Disorder? If so, he has lots of explaining to do.

In that case, he must be now admitting he was wrong in that earlier diagnosis as rexulti is not approved for Bipolar Disorder. It apparently is only approved for schizophrenia and some major depressive disorder, which you yourself admitted in earlier messages that Depression was not a major sign and symptom, but brief bouts. Rapid changing thoughts, anger, poor memory and concentration, etc., were the main issues you talked about before, not depression according to you.

So, by prescribing that rexulti is he indirectly saying you have schizophrenia then? Why has he not directly told you that is the new diagnosis then, and only told you you had a mood disorder? Why is he afraid to be specific in the new diagnosis? Mood disorder is not a specific diagnosis. Is he just being general so if he is wrong again with the suggested schizophrenia diagnosis if you ever tried that drug on his possible Guinea pig experiment, and it did not help, he can backtrack and say he meant something else?

Again, rexulti was not approved for Bipolar as of the end of May, 2017, and so that cannot be the mood disorder he was talking about, and as that drug is not supposed to be taken for those with manic symptoms. And I looked up the other other mood disorders, and those have nothing to do with your signs and symptoms described either, so I do not fault you for not taking rexulti yet, until that doctor tells you what the diagnosis is. He clearly backtracked off the Bipolar, as that drug is not approved for that, and so that drug prescribed means he is indirectly saying schizophrenia.

Can you describe your paranoia? You mentioned you also had paranoia. How would a paranoid person know they were paranoid? Nothing you have stated in your posts show delusions or hallucinations, unless you show those serious signs and symptoms just to that doctor. I really doubt that.

Personally, I think the psychiatrist is incompetent, if he was the one who diagnosed Autism in you, then Bipolar, and now he is suggesting schizophrenia, and for him just saying mood disorder. What will he come up with next? It is up to you Robby to get these answers from that office or him. You have a right to know why he was general in his diagnosis, and backtracking off of Bipolar, and Autism, if he was the one who diagnosed both.

 

[Robby]

No, the psychiatrist who said I was bipolar I no longer see, and haven't seen him for a couple years. This new one is the one I have seen since then. I told him about my intense mood swings last week, and he wanted to start me on the rexulti. I asked him what he thinks is maybe wrong with me and all he said was mood disorder. Yea as I've mentioned, I don't have long stretches of depression, never have. When I have despair and suicidal thoughts, they are usually severe, short mood dips but usually shift into another mood within a few hours or less. My mood swings are very intense. I do have paranoia, but not thinking that the government or people are spying on me or something. Not like that. Sometimes, I'll be driving, and if I notice a car behind me, I'll think, I wonder if they're following me, but I know they're really not.

I really don't have any delusions or hallucinations. It's merely the intense mood swings that are extremely exhausting and just making me emotionally drained. I misconstrue things. The slightest thing can make me go into a tailspin of extreme despair, suicidal thoughts, or anger. The other day at work, a co worker came off a bit strong to me and I felt embarrassed and just went into a mental tailspin of despair, feeling alone, hurt, and suicidal within minutes. She kept asking me whats wrong, you don't seem like yourself. It was all I could do to not have a full meltdown right there, but I kept it together. And within an hour or so, I felt a bit more stable again. That's what I have dealt with since I've been in middle school. I'm going to hold off taking the rexulti until I see the therapist and talk to her.I just want to know what's wrong with me. Just thinking about it upsets me, this has been terrible and I feel like crying again.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

No, the psychiatrist who said I was bipolar I no longer see, and haven't seen him for a couple years. This new one is the one I have seen since then. I told him about my intense mood swings last week, and he wanted to start me on the rexulti. I asked him what he thinks is maybe wrong with me and all he said was mood disorder. Yea as I've mentioned, I don't have long stretches of depression, never have. When I have despair and suicidal thoughts, they are usually severe, short mood dips but usually shift into another mood within a few hours or less. My mood swings are very intense. I do have paranoia, but not thinking that the government or people are spying on me or something. Not like that. Sometimes, I'll be driving, and if I notice a car behind me, I'll think, I wonder if they're following me, but I know they're really not.

I really don't have any delusions or hallucinations. It's merely the intense mood swings that are extremely exhausting and just making me emotionally drained. I misconstrue things. The slightest thing can make me go into a tailspin of extreme despair, suicidal thoughts, or anger. The other day at work, a co worker came off a bit strong to me and I felt embarrassed and just went into a mental tailspin of despair, feeling alone, hurt, and suicidal within minutes. She kept asking me whats wrong, you don't seem like yourself. It was all I could do to not have a full meltdown right there, but I kept it together. And within an hour or so, I felt a bit more stable again. That's what I have dealt with since I've been in middle school. I'm going to hold off taking the rexulti until I see the therapist and talk to her.I just want to know what's wrong with me. Just thinking about it upsets me, this has been terrible and I feel like crying again.

Ok Robby, thanks for clearing that up that this is a new doctor who said the "mood disorder."

One way or another you need to get a firm diagnosis, either from that current psychiatrist or a psychologist, to determine the treatment.

Things do not make sense. The rexulti he prescribed can be prescribed for schizophrenia and a major depressive disorder, and he said you had a mood disorder.

From what I read the mood disorders are like:

Bipolar
Depression
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Dysthymic Disorder
Cyclothymic Disorder

We can rule out Bipolar as his diagnosis, as he could not be prescribing rexulti for that. You might want to look up those other three above, as we can likely rule out Depression as his diagnosis too, as it seems he would have said Depression if that was his diagnosis and as depression would not explain those other symptoms, and as rexulti would only be prescribed for major depressive disorder, and your symptoms do not show that.

I looked up the schizophrenia and that makes no sense, as there appears to be no delusions and hallucinations, so the rexulti likely was not prescribed for that. That paranoia car example you gave does not seem extreme and you said you knew it was not true, and you have no delusions and hallucinations. So, that leaves the third, fourth and fifth on the list to look up, which he may think you may have.

Seasonal Affective Disorder would tend to have different symptoms versus summer and winter. I am not sure if that is the case for you. The Dysthymic Disorder was like a milder form of Biplolar from what I read, but I do not think rexulti then can be prescribed for that. Cyclothymic Disorder seemed a possibility, from what he was thinking, but I did not see that rexulti could be prescribed for that either. So, your guess is as good as mine. I already told you what I thought it was in a much earlier post, but I am curious what these experts think.

Let us know what you find out Robby. Make sure the therapist lets you know what that specific diagnosis was, that the psychiatrist said you had.

 

[Robby]

What about Borderline? I will ask the therapist. I have these constant, intense, mood swings that just are becoming a huge problem family members are telling me how strange I am acting and I'm only just realizing it and I feel things so deeply to the point that I physically hurt Sometimes I think about running away. I have been throwing things and slamming things when I get upset.

 

[Judge]

I have these constant, intense, mood swings that just are becoming a huge problem family members are telling me how strange I am acting and I'm only just realizing it and I feel things so deeply to the point that I physically hurt

Mood Swings and Bipolar Disorder

 

[Robby]

He told me to try the rexulti for a month and if I can't tolerate it to come back. He said it was designed to supplement something like lexapro, but he still doesn't know I don't take the lexapro he prescribes me. Because I just can't bring myself to take an anti-depressant.

 

[Katleya]

This might sound harsh, but it's not:
Your therapist won't be able to help you if you're not being honest about the medication. Maybe the lexapro would work, but it definitely won't help you if it stays in the bottle. Nobody wants to take antidepressants. Look at it from a strict perspective of chemical imbalance that needs to be adressed. If someone with diabetes told you their pancreas is doing all kinds of crazy thing, but they're not taking their insulin, what would you tell them? You're in the same position, except it's not your pancreas that needs to be put on the right track.
(And maybe the lexapro wouldn't help, but that's not for you to decide without trying or discussing it with your therapist so that you two can find something that's right)

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

What about Borderline? I will ask the therapist. I have these constant, intense, mood swings that just are becoming a huge problem family members are telling me how strange I am acting and I'm only just realizing it and I feel things so deeply to the point that I physically hurt Sometimes I think about running away. I have been throwing things and slamming things when I get upset.

Borderline Personality Disorder is usually considered as a Personality Disorder, and not a mood disorder. Generally, drugs often then are not prescribed for that to better the condition, but DBT, a type of therapy, or other therapies. But, I have seen some with BPD through research be given Lexapro medication to stabilize the symptom(s).

Since what age has these intense symptoms started?

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

He told me to try the rexulti for a month and if I can't tolerate it to come back. He said it was designed to supplement something like lexapro, but he still doesn't know I don't take the lexapro he prescribes me. Because I just can't bring myself to take an anti-depressant.

My guess he is giving one of those drugs for the depression he thinks you have, because of his worry if you had mentioned suicidal thoughts to him. Drugs can take at least two to four weeks to notice positive affect. As for the other drug, I am not sure what the secondary condition he thinks you have. Again, the only way to know is to ask that psychiatrist specifically what you have, based on all the signs and symptoms you told him, saying you worry about taking anti-depressants until you have more information about the diagnoses, as you want to research things, too.

Drugs are needed for many conditions, and help many conditions, but for other conditions or if not monitored carefully, drugs could do more harm that good if that drug could aggravate that condition, or if combining drugs, or if other therapies would have been better. That is why correct diagnosis is important. We can guess as much as we want what that doctor is doing, but until he tells you, that is all we can do is guess.

 

[Robby]

Id like to know whats wrong with me so I can get better if there's even hope for that. I guess I was around 5th or 6th grade when I started getting intense mood swings and sometimes having outburts and throwing things and getting upset really easily, and I did have a time a few years back now that I think of it when during one bad down mood swing I cut myself when I was feeling extremely depressed. I've never attempted suicide though. I just feel so deeply and when I feel something I just can't see straight and whether it's rage or sadness. Family members and co-workers are starting to tell me or ask if I am feeling ok one of my co workers said I was acting strange and she was worried if I was ok. I'm just feeling scared and upset and cornered too sometimes like nobody understands me.