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What's your excuse?

The teams got fed up of playing in a stream because of the constant soggy feet issue. They're now playing in a live field, so try watching that instead.

Why do you keep singing those annoying advertising jingles?
 
Because they're stuck in my head, and that's the only way to get them out of my head.

Why do you keep telling me to practice cello, even when you know it bothers me?
 
Because it sounds better than your oboe playing.

Why is this wine so...okay?
 
Because you got sick of the incessant lectures about Wolfe and Montcalm.

Why do the Kinder Surprises only hold tops?
 
That is privileged information.
In a logically unrelated distractive effort, I refer you to the wikipedia article from which this came:

In January 2011, the U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) threatened a Manitoba resident with a $300 (Canadian dollars) fine for carrying one egg across the U.S. border into Minnesota.[14] In June 2012, CBP held two Seattle men for two and a half hours after discovering six Kinder Surprise eggs in their car upon returning to the U.S. from a trip to Vancouver. According to one of the men detained, a border guard quoted the potential fine as US$2,500 per egg.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Surprise

Why aren't you at work today?
 
Because Simon Said I didn't have to go to work.



Why haven't you run a mile today?
 
Because it's snowing! Who would want to run in snow?

Why did the dentist give me that flouride and not let me eat or drink for half an hour afterward even though I was starving?
 
You could have had a fine meal, but you
refused both the IV and the stomach tube,
so there's no point in complaining about the
situation.

Now what have you done with my crochet hooks?
 
Crochet hooks? I thought they were hockey sticks for rodents, so lent them to the local group of rats for their monthly hockey tournament.



Why haven't you cleaned your room?
 
Because I'm sneaking into your kitchen to steal your whisk. I lost mine in a duel, and am unable to make pancakes now.

Why do always wear your gloves back to front?
 
It's a government requirement so
that people won't envy me, as much
as they would otherwise.

Where have you been all day
when there were so many things
you promised to do?
 
Oh, you didn't see that my fingers were crossed behind my back?

Why am I so distracted from writing a few sentences for English class?
 
It takes all your concentration to keep
your fingers crossed and there's none
left over for anything else.

Why can't you get anything right today?
 
Because I am optimistic, or at least I try to be.

How is it that I can write entire novels but I can't write a 220-word paper?
 
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