What's your excuse?

[tree]

Look within yourself, grasshopper.

When do you plan to get this
mess cleaned up?

 

[metalminx24]

Never. I'm going to leave it to fester.

Why are you always so grouchy?

 

[tree]

In an alternate universe, my mother
was one of the Marx brothers.

Why don't you bring more cookies
to church next week?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Do you know how much cookie dough COSTS?

Why did I bring two binders to my locker, and then leave without actually putting them in there?

 

[tree]

A ploy to misdirect attention.
Your binders are full of cookies.

Why don't you know how to
start a fire in a fireplace?

 

[metalminx24]

Ahhh, but I do!! When I was very young our house had an open fire and my parents taught me. *cue Prodigy tune

Why haven't you bought me a pet giraffe?

 

[tree]

I might have one around here, but
I don't think it's completely ripe yet.
You wouldn't mind if it's home-made,
right? Or is your heart set on a store
bought giraffe?

What's up with that new wig your
cat is sporting?

 

[metalminx24]

She has aspirations of becoming the Muppets' Animal. Next stop- learn to play drums!

(Home-made is fine btw!)

Why must you start your karaoke sessions at 4.30am?

 

[Reedstorm17]

So I can send a wake-up call to everyone in the area.

Why do I continuously kill off the same character with every new draft of the story?

 

[metalminx24]

Happily, the reason doesn't matter. The character is fictional, so won't be upset by your perpetual murdering.

Why can't you write a happy story?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because most stories that are pure happiness aren't that interesting and don't have much of a plotline.

What did I do to my life?

 

[tree]

You were assigned a random character
and some characteristics, then went on
some tutorial missions. As long as you
retain your life, there is hope that you
can unlock the next level, where the
'good stuff' is. So, keep playing.

Why won't you tell me
what time the bells are
going to stop ringing?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because you're the one ringing the bells, and I have no idea when you're going to stop.

Why did my middle school directory get recycled?

 

[Flinty]

To become your high school directory.

Where's Herb?

 

[tree]

Usually with Peaches.
He's outlived 7 of them.

Why not sit down and rest for awhile?

 

[Reedstorm17]

I don't have time. My schedule is so packed I have overlapping classes.

Why are all the school clocks set three minutes behind?

 

[Flinty]

To give you time to post on the What's Your Excuse thread.

Why do the peanuts taste so awful?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because only elephants are supposed to eat peanuts. Are you an elephant?

Why have I started to naturally lie about little things that don't matter in fear that the truth will make things worse?

 

[tree]

For reasons unknown to me,
you now fear repercussions
from telling the truth.

Why don't you give a circus-themed
party this weekend and wear your
elephant costume?

 

[Reedstorm17]

The last time I wore my elephant costume was Halloween when I was two years old. I'm afraid it doesn't fit me anymore.

Why did I forget to read three chapters of Things Fall Apart for English class?