Why autistic people won't look others in the eye...

[ksheehan88]

For me, unless it is a very close friend/family member it feels like having a hole bored into my skull through my eyeballs and eyes look really sinister when they are staring right at you.

Then because its so uncomfortable I avert my gaze but then my eyes just dart around so I try to look back at the person, but can only do so for a few seconds before I start the darty-eyes again.

 

[Crossbreed]

I find that my eye contact is better when it feels like the other person is on the same wavelength. It is way more difficult when I sense any amount of contention.

 

[dragonwolf]

I had the opposite problem in school. I either listened or took notes--could never do both at the same time. In my case, listening provided much more useful information because I could recall from memory anything I needed to know. When I tried to take notes, my brain tried to "process" the nuggets of information as I wrote. Usually I missed many of the key points and the notes were of little help when I went back to review for a test.
This same "problem" affected my ability to write Research Papers. The preferred approach for NTs was to read through a pile of books on the topic and take notes on 3x5 cards that could be used to construct the actual Research Paper. My approach was to start with the end in mind. So I would scan the books to find juicy quotes/references that supported my premise. This approach never failed me and I always got high grades on these papers. I also enjoyed writing them because when I was done with the research I was also done with the paper. No need to go back over a pile of note cards. To this day I do not know if I am able to do this because of my Aspie brain or if NTs could do the same if taught the process I use.

I was exactly the same way. By high school, I "took notes" by drawing (not doodle notes, just drawing; it was basically a complicated fidget), or in the case of math class just watching and committing to memory (though I could do some notes in that one, since it was numbers, not words, and math lends itself so much better to short snippets).

Every time I tried taking notes, I'd fall behind and miss key parts, because my brain couldn't process, distill, and write at that speed.

I remember being taught the note card thing. I think I only ever did it that way once. The why made sense while I was in elementary school though -- you don't want to lug home a bunch of books from the library, if you can check those books out to begin with. I just filled a bunch of note cards and after a while it seemed wasteful. That technique became less useful as the internet evolved and other tools became available and I switched to a similar technique you use. I start writing and find the sources to support it.

 

[kris]

I think that because I can't look at someone in the eyes most of the time is one of the reasons that I am so bad at facial recognition. Often times lack of the ability to have good facial recognition is a trait that is attributed to aspies. I don't think it is a trait but rather a by product of not being able to maintain eye contact.

This is how I am.. I will recognize people by their hair cut, a weird mole or the shape of their nose. One time, a boyfriend cut his hair and I didn't recognize him.. so embarrassing! And I never even knew that wasn't normal until I learned about aspergers.

 

[ezcare]

That technique became less useful as the internet evolved and other tools became available and I switched to a similar technique you use. I start writing and find the sources to support it.

Interestingly enough: While consulting for CERN June-December of 1980, Tim Berners-Lee wrote a notebook program, "Enquire-Within-Upon-Everything", which allows links to be made between arbitrary nodes. Although this is a much more complex version of selecting quotes to support a topic, it is based upon the same principle.
Can't remember where I read it but Tim claimed he got this idea from observing how his Grandmother organized her knitting basket. She had a piece of cardboard at the top of the basket with short strands of yarn coming through it. When she needed to switch colors she simply pulled on the strand with her knitting needle and began weaving in the new color without having to interrupt her knitting process. He simply transferred this process to a browser and walla! the URL was invented.

 

[illogical]

I force myself to do this.

Some of the reasons it isn't natural for me personally is really because when I'm trying to communicate, I think in movies and visuals. I need to be able to translate these images into spoken words.

Also yes, it's just unnatural feeling to look into the eyes. I feel like I'm being challenged in some way. If I'm doing it in purpose it's because I'm hyper aware the person needs me to do this.

Otherwise no thanks.