Why don’t I want to do anything?

[Starflowerpower87]

This goes for basic things too like cleaning. I don’t mind cooking so much anymore it’s just I find cleaning so hard. I also don’t like doing activities that stimulate the mind like reading, writing, sketching, cross word puzzles etc. All I like doing is go out to eat then excersize to my music for an hour. Then sit and listen to it for the rest of the day. I used to like doing activities. Maybe I’m on too much medication. The winter makes it worse. It’s like I have no soul anymore.

 

[FayetheAspie]

This goes for basic things too like cleaning. I don’t mind cooking so much anymore it’s just I find cleaning so hard. I also don’t like doing activities that stimulate the mind like reading, writing, sketching, cross word puzzles etc. All I like doing is go out to eat then excersize to my music for an hour. Then sit and listen to it for the rest of the day. I used to like doing activities. Maybe I’m on too much medication. The winter makes it worse. It’s like I have no soul anymore.

That sounds sad. I hope you get to feeling better soon. I notice that you said "winter makes it worse." Have you considered seasonal depression?

 

[Starflowerpower87]

That sounds sad. I hope you get to feeling better soon. I notice that you said "winter makes it worse." Have you considered seasonal depression?

I suppose it could be the winter blues. Don’t know what to do to make that better.

 

[Starflowerpower87]

I got one of those lamps for seasonal depression but it’s so blinding that I don’t use it much.

 

[FayetheAspie]

I don't really know a lot about seasonal depression (if that is what is wrong). I did find this article online though.
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/seasonal-affective-disorder

 

[Rachie]

I find this quite normal, not many like cleaning and that stems to neurotypicals as well. Some people do like it, but I think many do not. I do not like it and had to get a cleaner for weakness and overwhelm as well. I cannot afford to keep them anymore so the cleaning came back to me, do I like it I like having a clean home home and that is a must for me. Try and do what you can keeping it clean but making it as easy for yourself as possible.

You have your likes I don't like doing a lot of those things the activity colouring books for adults at such. Told enough at hospital they were good time passers, I have what I like and my go to and that is perfectly alright. I like to write, so we are all tuned differently.

Winter is not an easy time. Try and do what you can to get get through and make your transition to the day as smooth as possible...For me that it involves self care at night such as sometimes putting my night light on my ceiling, a diffuser and using a spray that got me in the air. Also, I have a SAD lamp which I could explore using as well.

Perhaps you could and awaken your senses as well if you need to like beating on a drum. Try and be kind to yourself and take as much rest as you need.

 

[Rodafina]

It makes sense that your meds and winter would drain your motivation.

What is it that you like about going out to eat? I am wondering if there are other similar activities that could be fun and be another thing to do. Maybe trying something new could spark your motivation, too.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

This goes for basic things too like cleaning. I don’t mind cooking so much anymore it’s just I find cleaning so hard. I also don’t like doing activities that stimulate the mind like reading, writing, sketching, cross word puzzles etc. All I like doing is go out to eat then excersize to my music for an hour. Then sit and listen to it for the rest of the day. I used to like doing activities. Maybe I’m on too much medication. The winter makes it worse. It’s like I have no soul anymore.

The US Army had a TV commercial on in the 80's and 90's, "We do more before 9am than most people do all day."

I am sort of the same way on my days off of work, often up before the sun and I get all my work done early in the morning while my mind is fresh and I haven't sat down. The moment I park my behind on the couch or computer chair, I know I am not going to get much done after that. This is no good. My mind is often exhausted by the early afternoon and I will sometimes take naps.

I think it helps that I have a wife that also works, and with that comes some understanding that we have to work as a team to get things done around the house. We both work around 50hrs a week. Sometimes I am home alone. Sometimes she is. Neither one of us can be expected to manage all the little things around the house, run errands, yard maintenance, make meals, etc. We have to divide and conquer, but also be reliable. Neither one of us can just say to the other, "I didn't feel like it.", "I just wasn't feeling motivated." That's not what reliable partners do to each other. So, light that fire, stick it under your behind, and get some things done is sort of the mindset. You can have your "feelings" when you're done, but not now.

 

[Judge]

I don’t mind cooking so much anymore it’s just I find cleaning so hard.

Me too. So much so it isn't often that I'm willing to go to the trouble of cooking an elaborate meal. And often find myself making something I don't necessarily want to eat, just because it's easy and "down and dirty" to make.

Plus I have to deal with the ebb and flow of clinical depression, which adds to the equation. And my OCD keeps me cleaning at times whether I want to or not. Weird to explain....like any time I return anything to a cupboard or refrigerator, I have to align all containers to have the label properly facing outward.

 

[Outdated]

The wheels fell off of me doing housework when I was in my 30s. Prior to that I had always kept my home immaculately clean but one day that just suddenly changed. Occasionally I'll force myself to clean the place up properly but it never takes as a habit and it's not long before I'm living in a pig sty again.

In hindsight I see that as the very first stage of me burning out although it was quite a few years before more symptoms started showing.

 

[Rachie]

I am not sure if you are cooking for 1 or others. The cooking for 1 can get old soon and with things like pricing can put some people off and you just may feel it is not worth it. Keep on cooking if this is the case. Look at though good nutritious ready meals.
I think the likes of Bentos look promising. I have no idea where you live but these are on offer right now in Sainsbury's and Tesco's and they have meat versions too.
https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/wasabi-sushi-bento-vegetable-gyoza-yakisoba-450g

For years my brother has been going on a daily run and loves it and I just see this now as part of his routine.

 

[FoxLovinPat]

Yeah I get that way too, a bit too often for my liking.
I just don't feel like doing anything productive even if there's something I know I need to get done and it might be weeks it even months before I finally get around to it.

My therapist thinks that in some instances it's due to my anxiety getting in the way, but that can't be the case for more simple stuff like cleaning up around my apartment.

There's times when I don't really feel like doing anything at all, but I know those instances are mostly due to me being down in the dumps so to speak.
In those cases even the things I enjoy doing I can't stand doing for long and tend to stopping sooner than I otherwise would've.
And I've noticed that this is typically when something is bothering me and putting my mood down.

Also I have a tendency to feel awful and like I'm being lazy when I get in the mindset of not wanting to do much, but this comes and goes as sometimes I don't feel awful about it at all.
I think that feeling is mostly due to the fact I was scolded a lot for "being lazy" while growing up, and I've maybe internalized it a little as a result.
Typically when I do feel awful and think to myself that I'm being lazy I still won't do anything productive which just worsens it.. sometimes, like I said it comes and goes so sometimes it'll just go away.

 

[AprilR]

I often feel depressed while doing things like cleaning and cooking also. I don't know why but it feels too hard to do. I think it is a mix of depression and executive dysfunction

 

[FoxLovinPat]

I often feel depressed while doing things like cleaning and cooking also. I don't know why but it feels too hard to do. I think it is a mix of depression and executive dysfunction

Yeah I've wondered if my "laziness" is due to execution dysfunction as well.

But I don't know enough about executive dysfunction to know how to tell if that's what's going on with me or not.

Perhaps that's what it was with schoolwork too, and not just "laziness" like I kept being accused of.
I know I was also under a lot of pressure to do well because my father saw me as a savant because his understanding of autism is limited to either you're a savant or you're the R word and clearly I wasn't the latter so..

 

[AprilR]

Yeah I've wondered if my "laziness" is due to execution dysfunction as well.

But I don't know enough about executive dysfunction to know how to tell if that's what's going on with me or not.

Perhaps that's what it was with schoolwork too, and not just "laziness" like I kept being accused of.
I know I was also under a lot of pressure to do well because my father saw me as a savant because his understanding of autism is limited to either you're a savant or you're the R word and clearly I wasn't the latter so..

I have been researching a lot also. Since even psychiatrists are not educated enough to understand it where i live.

It is sad that our parents seem very similar in the aspect that they think if a child gets good grades they are completely normal!

My parents were very prejudiced towards autistic people so i never mentioned it to them.

 

[Mono]

Lately I haven't been able to do any activities that stimulate the mind in my free time, either. I love watching TV series and play games, but can't settle on anything in the evening. I'm a morning person, I get up at 5 and am outside for my morning walk really early as well. I feel great during the day, but after dinner I just want to go to bed. Just 1 or 2 drinks of alcohol and I enjoy everything. I don't do that all the time, I just noticed it a short while ago. So maybe it is winter, or maybe I need to amp up my magnesium intake (from little to none to something). Hope you figure it out!

 

[FoxLovinPat]

I have been researching a lot also. Since even psychiatrists are not educated enough to understand it where i live.

It is sad that our parents seem very similar in the aspect that they think if a child gets good grades they are completely normal!

My parents were very prejudiced towards autistic people so i never mentioned it to them.

Any suggestions on good resources for that? As I'd like to do the same.

And actually for my father it was more than just "being normal" though there was plenty of that too, typically poorly framed as "You're not R worded, so stop acting like it!" which is part of why I hate that term to this day.
Like I said he saw me as a savant, and thusly my struggles in school were due to "laziness" because In his eyes I should've been doing well due to "that smart Asperger's brain of mine".
His reality did not match up with mine, and it wasn't good for my self esteem.
I really should've gotten extra help in school but instead I got scolded.

 

[AprilR]

Any suggestions on good resources for that? As I'd like to do the same.

And actually for my father it was more than just "being normal" though there was plenty of that too, typically poorly framed as "You're not R worded, so stop acting like it!" which is part of why I hate that term to this day.
Like I said he saw me as a savant, and thusly my struggles in school were due to "laziness" because In his eyes I should've been doing well due to "that smart Asperger's brain of mine".
His reality did not match up with mine, and it wasn't good for my self esteem.
I really should've gotten extra help in school but instead I got scolded.

I am afraid i am also looking for resources to deal with it, as well as daily task management like cleaning-cooking-keeping a budget. I have been looking for mobile apps that are free for neurodivergent people and if i manage to find one i can tell you also.

Overall how i deal with my horrible short term memory and executive dysfunction is to make lists for Everything and keep timed alarms. Like i write down my daily tasks everyday, make alarms for it. And afterwards reward myself with a book or tv show.

Also yeah, my dad is also an undiagnosed aspie who was forced to avoid his problems all his life. So he was the same way with me, "if i can do such and such so can you" I don't want to hijack the thread so that is all i will say for now

 

[Tiffany Kate]

Overall how i deal with my horrible short term memory and executive dysfunction is to make lists for Everything and keep timed alarms. Like i write down my daily tasks everyday, make alarms for it. And afterwards reward myself with a book or tv show.

I do the same. I have a notebook for writing things down. Tasks (however small and silly) get transferred to my to-do list app. Appointments (however small and silly) go on the calendar. And Trello keeps track of the projects I'm involved in - including whether I've got to do something on them next, or if I'm waiting for someone else.

If I don't write stuff down immediately it goes straight out of my head.

I also have a countdown app telling me how long it is until certain things like the expiry of certain licences (and how many days till payday!) so I can start getting things sorted in advance.

My to-do list app has a "repeating tasks" function, so I've set it up to tell me all my daily tasks "take medication, feed cats, make lunch for tomorrow," etc.

Actually doing stuff is another thing. Getting started is the problem. I've got one (quite important) task I've been putting off for months. It's not even difficult, and I don't know why I don't just get on with it.

But I find that putting things on the to-do list does make me more likely to do the things - not only because I don't forget them, but because having them sitting there on the list is more annoying than doing them and then crossing them off. And crossing them off always feels good (sometimes I even write stuff I've done on the list just so I can cross it off immediately and feel all productive).

If I didn't have the lists, my anxiety would be off the scale. And things still would not get done.

 

[AprilR]

I do the same. I have a notebook for writing things down. Tasks (however small and silly) get transferred to my to-do list app. Appointments (however small and silly) go on the calendar. And Trello keeps track of the projects I'm involved in - including whether I've got to do something on them next, or if I'm waiting for someone else.

If I don't write stuff down immediately it goes straight out of my head.

I also have a countdown app telling me how long it is until certain things like the expiry of certain licences (and how many days till payday!) so I can start getting things sorted in advance.

My to-do list app has a "repeating tasks" function, so I've set it up to tell me all my daily tasks "take medication, feed cats, make lunch for tomorrow," etc.

Actually doing stuff is another thing. Getting started is the problem. I've got one (quite important) task I've been putting off for months. It's not even difficult, and I don't know why I don't just get on with it.

But I find that putting things on the to-do list does make me more likely to do the things - not only because I don't forget them, but because having them sitting there on the list is more annoying than doing them and then crossing them off. And crossing them off always feels good (sometimes I even write stuff I've done on the list just so I can cross it off immediately and feel all productive).

If I didn't have the lists, my anxiety would be off the scale. And things still would not get done.

I could have written this myself. Like, i have to immediately write down a task when it comes to my mind otherwise, it disappears.

Also with you on starting things. I know when i finish the task i will feel good, and find it was not difficult at all. This does not change the absolute feeling of dread before i start a task.