I know the feeling your husband talks about. I have talked to mental health professionals occasionally, but it's a tricky thing. Having difficulties in expressing "what's not right" doesn't help. Psychologists mostly want to start CBT (talk therapy) and psychiatrists prescribe you antidepressants and antipsychotics. They do this because in most cases they don't have a clue "what's not right" and try to address the most common problems.
ASD in adults is hard to diagnose, and there are only few professionals who are actually prepared to do it. It's still regarded as "kids only" condition.
In my case diagnosis came through circumstances. I wanted to talk to a therapist, and as it was during covid, it was an online meeting. I just wanted to know one or three specific, but basic things so I didn't really care about the speciality of the professional. Turns out he was a counselor at a local private school who also did online therapy sessions for private patients during the pandemic (higher demand). His main job was dealing with kids aged PK-12 and of course he had experience with ASD testing and diagnoses and therapy. One day he said he wanted to meet me in person, and asked me if I ever was tested for ASD. I met with him, and then he suggested I do the test. He didn't want to do it himself because he wanted someone else to "get an impression". After second and third thoughts I did. Lo' and behold - the result said I was on the spectrum: Asperger's. The first therapist suggested I talk to a pediatric neurologist. I did, but he wanted to see.menin person which wasn't possible for me - face masks drive me crazy and I can't "see" people wearing them. So I still haven't seen him.
but I talked to a psychiatrist, who.again insisted on doing the test with me. Got the same result. He said there was nothing he could for.me, as I didn't seem to have any comorbidity (like ADHD or OTC or whatever). Just prescribed me anxiolytics to be taken when needed.
I still have to see the neirologist, but I'm pretty done getting a diagnosis as to why I feel "not right".
If your hubby wants, I suggest you find a pediatric psychologist (not psychiatrist, they usually don't do ASD in itself) or a pediatric neurologist who is okay with having an adult patient. They are trained to detect ASD symptoms, and may be able to detect them in adults who have learned to mask.
