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You are actually nice!

There are quite a few people whose own world is very small or limited in exposure to the rest of humanity. These ones make assumptions due to a lack of a more broad understanding of the real world. They are judgmental and try to categorize you. They are surprised when they learn more about you because you don't fit the mold they have already established in their mind. They are ignorant of anything that isn't part of their own world. It's a classic case of judging the book by its cover.
 
Peter Morrison said:
There are quite a few people whose own world is very small or limited in exposure to the rest of humanity. These ones make assumptions due to a lack of a more broad understanding of the real world. They are judgmental and try to categorize you. They are surprised when they learn more about you because you don't fit the mold they have already established in their mind. They are ignorant of anything that isn't part of their own world. It's a classic case of judging the book by its cover.
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Making those "first impressions" quite brutal at times.
 
Judge said:
Nope. Odds are first contact results in people either liking me or hating my guts.

Not much room for a passive-aggressive remarks like the OP mentions.

Luckily as well no one has ever said to me, "Bless your heart! Or "Isn't that special!" :rolleyes:
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I pretty much gave up on saying hi and making painful small talk with most of the baristas there, the ones who sometimes dont even greet me, apart from a couple of people. One very nice, positive young chap and another women who's more mature and probably a little bit spectrumy. The passive aggressive one I dont bother with anymore!
It definitely saves energy and i can just read my book in peace.
 
I tend to not change myself for the sake of first impressions. There are so many different directions to go in when you are confronted by an unknown entity. All of them can be stressful because you are being judged on that first impression. It's a game I don't like.
 
Yes, I had it said: you know, if others just took time to get to know you, Suzanne, they would find a really intelligent woman. Now, that actually made me laugh, because it matches my own perception of me and that is, when more than one and one, I suddenly become like an airhead and first impressions do count.
 
I am NOT nice.
he-man television GIF
 
thejuice said:
Ive had that experience of people hating my guts and I am surprised because i am quite indifferent to them
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Yes, you’ve reminded me. That has happened to me in a couple of situations. In one case, the dawning on me of how much I was hated where I thought I was truly a part of the community, was crushing.
 
Suzanne said:
Yes, I had it said: you know, if others just took time to get to know you, Suzanne, they would find a really intelligent woman. Now, that actually made me laugh, because it matches my own perception of me and that is, when more than one and one, I suddenly become like an airhead and first impressions do count.
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what do you mean an airhead?
 
thejuice said:
interesting do you have an example?
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There are many. One is the last time I volunteered with a non-profit organization. I did the same work as another volunteer. They always were praising him. I heard that I was "trying too hard." In my opinion, I did a better job, but it was about the same.

And then there was a company I worked for. In twenty five years there, I received a few awards and always was called on to work on dificult problems. Quite a few of my coworkers openly thought I was an idiot, and derided my lack of "experience" because I came to the occupation in a somewhat different way.

And then there is a phenomenon I see younger people suffering through on social media all the time. Some showoff will post details of their lives in high volume, things most people never should share with a general audience, with no privacy settings whatsoever. They love the attention they get from some people. Meanwhile, if someone unpopular dares to look at their public-domain doxxing of themselves, it'll be seen as creepy and an "invasion of privacy." You should know better than to look at some popular person's narcissism.

It's clear to me that in terms of social credit, people are judged by vastly different standards, for exactly the same behaviors, contributions, and results. Autistic people are almost completely incapable of figuring out how to get around this nonsense.
 
stevens said:
There are many. One is the last time I volunteered with a non-profit organization. I did the same work as another volunteer. They always were praising him. I heard that I was "trying too hard." In my opinion, I did a better job, but it was about the same.

And then there was a company I worked for. In twenty five years there, I received a few awards and always was called on to work on dificult problems. Quite a few of my coworkers openly thought I was an idiot, and derided my lack of "experience" because I came to the occupation in a somewhat different way.
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They were probably intimidated by you. See: No one kicks a dead dog (Dale Carnegie)
 
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