Did you ever have problems with relationships..

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

In terms of commitment?
I mean I have cptsd and I find it hard to want to be suffocated by a long term commitment and just want to go out and have fun.
I am aromatic and I enjoy being single and my own space and doing things my own way.
I could use a little help and support sometimes and am struggling with loneliness but I want to have some fun, freedom and adventures before I am tied down and really struggling with it
I have spent so much time feeling very tied down and overburdened.
It is hard I do not want to have many relationships but I want to just feel young and fancy free again.

 

[Fino]

I haven't dated in almost a decade but back when I did, I tended to become clingy and obsessive. It's less stressful to be single.

 

[elgat0verde]

I tended to become clingy and obsessive.

This, I also became extremely jealous due to my paranoia and thoughts of me not being enough to be genuinely loved.

I think I've given up on dating completely bevause it ends up suffocating me as well because I really like my me time.

If I ever find the correct person I won't shun it and turn around, but this will be a long time coming I suspect

 

[Rodafina]

I also have no intention to get into a relationship again. I lose myself in a relationship and need too much space and time to myself to be happy.

Also, it’s difficult for me to feel connected. I always feel far away and that’s not really fair to a potential partner. People I’ve been in a relationship with want closeness, and I want space.

 

[paloftoon]

Might be worth it to consider casual, but understand risk tolerance and prepare yourself for safety measures beforehand. Remember, nothing is 100% besides abstinence. Also, it is safe to assume that casual will result in emotional messes. Be okay being cold and straightforward about what you want and know and be okay with what you want beforehand and you should be "okay".

 

[Aspychata]

I have deep issues of trust and fear in relationships. When you lie about something really really important, and you give advice that isn't helpful, then l no longer listen to what you say, the lips are moving but l can't hear anything. It's worse when they repeatedly say they hate liars, and they have a truth detector yet some how they are free to say whatever they want. It's hypocritical. Everybody fibs a bit, but don't lie about a woman's security.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

This, I also became extremely jealous due to my paranoia and thoughts of me not being enough to be genuinely loved.

I think I've given up on dating completely bevause it ends up suffocating me as well because I really like my me time.

If I ever find the correct person I won't shun it and turn around, but this will be a long time coming I suspect

I feel like that too, I hate suffocation, I feel like I need some freedom.
Or a relationship that is not a really big together forever commitment just someone who is fun to be with a little while maybe a little hot who I can talk to and snuggle with in bed and have some attention and intimacy without the forever, true love being hard work and a lifetime commitment. I do not like sexual intimacy that much though I just like to play a little sometimes like hug and kiss and roll around together and sleep together platonically without anything much sexual.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I have deep issues of trust and fear in relationships. When you lie about something really really important, and you give advice that isn't helpful, then l no longer listen to what you say, the lips are moving but l can't hear anything. It's worse when they repeatedly say they hate liars, and they have a ******** detector yet some how they are free to say whatever they want. It's hypocritical. Everybody fibs a bit, but don't lie about a woman's security.

I have deep trust issues too in platonic relationships and romantic relationships.
I feel like everyone will just and up hurting me and screwing me over.
People often need to reassure me.
I feel sad about it

 

[uneven]

No, not because of commitment. I think it's nice to be in something long term, I don't like being single or having a new partner every couple of months. I'm more like a swan, I mate for life.

I did have some problems with relationships when I was younger, but a big part of the problem was that I didn't know or understand why some things were so difficult for me. I wasn't diagnosed until I was a little older so I struggled with some things I didn't understand. That was a shame, it would have gone much better if I had known, I could have dealt with things differently.

What "things" didn't you understand? Now that you know, what do you do differently?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

The relationship with my spouse has been a dance. It has had its ups and downs and it is nice when we support each other. We started out on an adventure and are still having them.

You mentioned that you want adventures @lovely_darlingprettybaby . That is great. I have seen too many NTs that go from their parents house into relationships (marriage) without developing a life of their own. I am happy to have avoided that because the relationships I then developed were meaningful and not driven by need (except for the aspect of intimacy.) That let me recognize the specialness of my spouse and I have been committed to her.

I am very proud of a niece who has worked hard to be independent. She enjoys the various things in the places she works and likes wilderness hiking. She has wanted a fossil collecting adventure and so this November I am treating her to a trip into Morocco's Anti-Atlas.

 

[Xinyta]

This may come off as pessimistic, but I really think I don't have the capacity for long term relationships. Not to mention that I personally don't think I deserve it anyway. Inexperience could also be talking here.

Though I do also note that I haven't exactly found myself attracted to anyone, so far. Honestly, being with someone is the last thing on my mind when I see people around.

 

[Aspychata]

@Xinyta , me also, l am not attracted to very much, and l get called all kinds of names, stuck-up, lesiban, and derogatory names. Because if l am not physically attracted, it's hard for me to fake it. I just tried 3 momths ago, and l failed horribly, l can't fake attraction.

 

[elgat0verde]

Or a relationship that is not a really big together forever commitment just someone who is fun to be with

I wish I had this too

Someone who understands when I need my space and when I need my alone time that is not overwhelmingly clingy.

All my exes have been too clingy and I think that's another reason I get jealous, to end the relationship. I am not good at saying "it's over" so I make the other party do so and, in the process, they end up hating me.

 

[Judge]

Not many to count, but with all of them I had issues. Mostly based on a lack of alone time that I so desperately needed, yet couldn't quite understand at the time. Decades before coming to the conclusion that I was on the spectrum of autism.

 

[Xinyta]

@Xinyta , me also, l am not attracted to very much, and l get called all kinds of names, stuck-up, lesiban, and derogatory names. Because if l am not physically attracted, it's hard for me to fake it. I just tried 3 momths ago, and l failed horribly, l can't fake attraction.

People that do that are more likely, than not, insecure themselves and feel good by attacking those, like us, that struggle to fit in.

My Uncle always talks about how I should of already found love and done alot already at the age I'm at. I personally am of the belief that expectations like that are more damaging, than encouraging.

 

[uneven]

People that do that are more likely, than not, insecure themselves and feel good by attacking those, like us, that struggle to fit in.

My Uncle always talks about how I should of already found love and done alot already at the age I'm at. I personally am of the belief that expectations like that are more damaging, than encouraging.

That age expectation is soooo bogus! There is love at all of the ages!! EAch decade, everyone, until you are dead.

 

[Xinyta]

@uneven I am in total agreement. Though there is also the expectation that you NEED to already know what to do with your life as soon as you're out of High School.

I'm sorry. I am not like NTs who can just jump into life and start working, driving, find a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. And be like everyone else.

One. My upbringing full of emotional/mental neglect, and no support, says otherwise to "already figuring life out after high school" thing.

Two. Being on the spectrum somewhere most likely has me seeing things differently. I am not just going to do what everyone else does. That's just stupid.

No wonder people live miserable lives, if this is what society expects of them.

 

[Shamar]

In terms of commitment?
I mean I have cptsd and I find it hard to want to be suffocated by a long term commitment and just want to go out and have fun.
I am aromatic and I enjoy being single and my own space and doing things my own way.
I could use a little help and support sometimes and am struggling with loneliness but I want to have some fun, freedom and adventures before I am tied down and really struggling with it
I have spent so much time feeling very tied down and overburdened.
It is hard I do not want to have many relationships but I want to just feel young and fancy free again.

I never have problems with relationships, mainly because I don't (and can't) have relationships. I desparately want to have relationships. Most of you know the details, so I won't bore you by repeating. If you want details, PM me.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

@uneven I am in total agreement. Though there is also the expectation that you NEED to already know what to do with your life as soon as you're out of High School.

I'm sorry. I am not like NTs who can just jump into life and start working, driving, find a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. And be like everyone else.

One. My upbringing full of emotional/mental neglect, and no support, says otherwise to "already figuring life out after high school" thing.

Two. Being on the spectrum somewhere most likely has me seeing things differently. I am not just going to do what everyone else does. That's just stupid.

No wonder people live miserable lives, if this is what society expects of them.

Exactly and to have the expectation that you should live an ordinary or miserable life is so pessimistic. Life may be hard but if you can get good things out of it.
You never give up on your dreams. You can always have hope, you can always see beautiful things.
Some people may have pessimistic views but I prefer to see things in a better light.
So difficult to just think things are supposed be dark and gloomy

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

This may come off as pessimistic, but I really think I don't have the capacity for long term relationships. Not to mention that I personally don't think I deserve it anyway. Inexperience could also be talking here.

Though I do also note that I haven't exactly found myself attracted to anyone, so far. Honestly, being with someone is the last thing on my mind when I see people around.

It is hard, I think some physical and emotional attraction is important, more so emotional because looks can get old.
I have things I am attracted to and struggle if they are not know there, I like artistic types, intellectual types, some confidence and stability in self and people who are positive.
And I really am more attracted to kindness as time goes on, meanness gets so challenging and old. It is nice when the person wants to be kind to you and is there for you.
Mean people are in abundance these days though, hard to find a kind soul.