Did you ever have problems with relationships..

[All-Rounder]

It takes time with my conditions. If I have friends they have to be very good and very patient and it is hard to know whether they will eventually get sick of it and let you down too .
I have met one friend so far, he has been very patient and a good support to me so far, it is early days. This is platonic.

You underlined what I think is a very important aspect for people with autism. We need someone patient, with high tresholds for what our issues are because of the way we live is not mainstream, is not the normal way, and some people can really end up hating us for it, which is a lot of trouble.

 

[Rogue Princess]

I need commitment and consistency when it comes to relationships. I really need them to move in as soon as possible.

I don't like dating. I need all or nothing so we usually just jump to the living together/relationship phase.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

You underlined what I think is a very important aspect for people with autism. We need someone patient, with high tresholds for what our issues are because of the way we live is not mainstream, is not the normal way, and some people can really end up hating us for it, which is a lot of trouble.

Yes that is true unfortunately a lot of people sure are not that.
And u should not be hated for being autistic or needing support.

 

[AspieChris]

You underlined what I think is a very important aspect for people with autism. We need someone patient, with high tresholds for what our issues are because of the way we live is not mainstream, is not the normal way, and some people can really end up hating us for it, which is a lot of trouble.

You just said, in one sentence, exactly what has been the backbone of my last 25 years with my wife. Patience and very high thresholds. I have been a real pain in her a$$, but I have always been loving and honest. She sees only the good parts of me, and tries to help me with everything else.

Finding that person is like writing an algorithm that spits out winning lottery numbers. I think the thing to focus on is getting yourself ready to stumble on that person one day and be able to NOT mess it up.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

In terms of commitment?
I mean I have cptsd and I find it hard to want to be suffocated by a long term commitment and just want to go out and have fun.
I am aromatic and I enjoy being single and my own space and doing things my own way.
I could use a little help and support sometimes and am struggling with loneliness but I want to have some fun, freedom and adventures before I am tied down and really struggling with it
I have spent so much time feeling very tied down and overburdened.
It is hard I do not want to have many relationships but I want to just feel young and fancy free again.

My last relationship didn't feel like a true relationship because she was an asexual person

 

[Judge]

In terms of commitment?
I mean I have cptsd and I find it hard to want to be suffocated by a long term commitment and just want to go out and have fun.
I am aromatic and I enjoy being single and my own space and doing things my own way.
I could use a little help and support sometimes and am struggling with loneliness but I want to have some fun, freedom and adventures before I am tied down and really struggling with it
I have spent so much time feeling very tied down and overburdened.
It is hard I do not want to have many relationships but I want to just feel young and fancy free again.

I suspect having such sentiments in whole or in part and having inadvertently projected them in my relationships probably explained their demise. That it's who we are, and what we do. Not on every case, but I suspect this could describe many of us.

Small wonder that in my forties I came to the conclusion that perhaps relationships are simply not in my best interests, and certainly not in the interest of others I might fancy.

And that for better or worse, some of us are simply best equipped to remain alone. Of course at 67 feeling "young and fancy-free" is out of the question. When life is winding down, and I find it easier to deal with such sentiments for the remainder of whatever time I have.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

We have problems with each other, I think.

 

[AspieChris]

I suspect having such sentiments in whole or in part and having inadvertently projected them in my relationships probably explained their demise. That it's who we are, and what we do. Not on every case, but I suspect this could describe many of us.

Small wonder that in my forties I came to the conclusion that perhaps relationships are simply not in my best interests, and certainly not in the interest of others I might fancy.

And that for better or worse, some of us are simply best equipped to remain alone. Of course at 67 feeling "young and fancy-free" is out of the question. When life is winding down, and I find it easier to deal with such sentiments for the remainder of whatever time I have.

The trick is finding someone you are compatible with in every way that is important, like fitting two Lego pieces together. The problem we seem to have is that our Lego’s were made in China and they don’t fit perfectly with most of the world’s toys.

 

[Judge]

The trick is finding someone you are compatible with in every way that is important, like fitting two Lego pieces together. The problem we seem to have is that our Lego’s were made in China and they don’t fit perfectly with most of the world’s toys.

Frankly I've never had such high expectations of ever finding anyone who would be compatible with me "in every way". That such a person doesn't likely exist in this universe.

I've always felt like being on the outside always looking on the inside with just about everyone. Which is bound to "color" how I do or don't reach out to people.

 

[AspieChris]

Frankly I've never had such high expectations of ever finding anyone who would be compatible with me "in every way". That such a person doesn't likely exist in this universe.

I've always felt like being on the outside always looking on the inside with just about everyone. Which is bound to "color" how I do or don't reach out to people.

I think I only got lucky finding my wife because of the law of averages. I hadn’t been single since the 4th grade.

If you buy enough lottery tickets….. be will eventually be a winner.

 

[Judge]

I think I only got lucky finding my wife because of the law of averages. I hadn’t been single since the 4th grade.

If you buy enough lottery tickets….. be will eventually be a winner.

I was a financial "bean counter" .....an insurance underwriter.

Don't make me quote the odds of those winning lottery tickets....lol.

 

[Judge]

Oddly enough, in my own case with the few relationships I had over the years with NT women, I suspect what attracted them to me the most was probably some of my autistic traits and behaviors, which contrasted myself so many other NT men.

That being "different" can be attractive to some women. Go figure....

 

[AspieChris]

That being "different" can be attractive to some women. Go figure....

So many NT guys are just a$$holes. Men on the spectrum tend to be a breath of fresh air because we’re honest. And if you’re also clean and good looking…..

The trick is keeping her interested.

 

[AspieChris]

In terms of commitment?
I mean I have cptsd and I find it hard to want to be suffocated by a long term commitment and just want to go out and have fun.
I am aromatic and I enjoy being single and my own space and doing things my own way.
I could use a little help and support sometimes and am struggling with loneliness but I want to have some fun, freedom and adventures before I am tied down and really struggling with it
I have spent so much time feeling very tied down and overburdened.
It is hard I do not want to have many relationships but I want to just feel young and fancy free again.

At some point we all need to recognize that we are no longer young or youthful. It’s very difficult but there’s a point where you’ll transition from being a child to being an adult, right? Even as an adult there’s several transitions that occur with age.

It totally sucks. Nobody wants to get old. But if you can figure out how to embrace the ‘Suck’, life makes a little more sense.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

At some point we all need to recognize that we are no longer young or youthful. It’s very difficult but there’s a point where you’ll transition from being a child to being an adult, right? Even as an adult there’s several transitions that occur with age.

It totally sucks. Nobody wants to get old. But if you can figure out how to embrace the ‘Suck’, life makes a little more sense.

I like the transitions in life...each stage and think they are beautiful.
They are not always smooth.
I think there is beauty in getting older and some people never get the chance to get older. But it is still hard to let go of your youth and face it at times because young stuff is fun as well. As well as face the greys, wrinkles, lines etc and not feeling as youthful.
Sometimes I think it is right for people to die young because they may not be strong enough or there is a purpose.