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KevinMao133

KevinMao133

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  • KevinMao133
    The more I think about this, the more I dislike this

    Everyone asks you what you do. It’s like your value is being defined by your job, rather than self. It also feels like your worth plummets if you aren’t as successful

    This is not right. I hang out with everyone because there’s something that I don’t know and there’s something about everyone that I can learn
    tree
    tree
    I don't think of it as being evaluated.
    I think of it people getting a description, something to remember the other person by.
    A way to get to know them, a little.
    LadyS
    LadyS
    I know it feels that way within certain groups (Indians are like this), they definitely assign a value and status to a person by their job, salary, and title. Big time.
    KevinMao133
    I just attended a meeting

    I always knew how bad I was at socializing and that my socializing skills are subpar

    After the meeting, I realized how far behind I really am

    I probably won’t reach the level of NTs, coming to realization
    S
    Slime_Punk
    I think most of us can reach that level, but it requires dedication and practice. We might have to put more discipline into it, but we're not a lost cause!
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    I was just thinking about something: I think it’s good I’m experiencing pain as I’m not avoiding problems and moving on but I’m not sure if I’m willing to deal with the process. I’m living by myself, wish I can have someone who can occasionally help me
    KevinMao133
    Just an update: after severe pain I went to the ER last night

    Doctors told me my issue wasn’t serious and prescribed Tylenol and Advil. I’m feeling fine right now

    We will see where this goes
    S
    Slime_Punk
    If I've learned anything in life, it's this: if it persists, consider trying another hospital
    KevinMao133
    I’m dealing with a strange situation

    I normally don’t socialize but today I had a great experience. My confidence is finally back, I just want to socialize and party all day

    I thought I was an introvert, I guess not. I also guess I have an identity crisis now. I just want to have fun all the time and enjoy life
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    What about a little bit of both? Sometimes quiet solitude and other times socializing and having all that fun that you want. Maybe balance would lead to maximum enjoyment.
    KevinMao133
    On the outside I look calm and stoic but on the inside I’m dealing with stuff few can relate

    This explains my demeanour. This explains why I’m ultra protective of my privacy and this also explains why I’m not curious at all, like I don’t ask questions

    Well I am curious and I want to go deep, but I do my best to control my emotions as I don’t want to be seen as nosy

    I hate the culture I grew up in
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Did you ever consider bringing the inside to the outside more often and letting go of the vigilantly stoic image? Perhaps allow yourself to express to those around you what’s going on on the inside?
    KevinMao133
    To say I don’t want friends is a lie

    I’m by myself all the time, so I want friends, sometimes

    Problem is it’s hard to find. I will watch YouTube instead, or continue to work
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    “I want friends sometimes,” is how I feel, too. They have to be the right kind of friends and only in small doses. All my friends are long distance or computer only friends. I think I like it like that.
    Luc Ienn
    Luc Ienn
    Same for me too. There are days when all I want is to talk to someone about everything I think is interesting. I can spend weeks on a person like this.
    After that, I need to go hide and collect more things to share again. I can’t spend time with people if I have nothing to share.
    KevinMao133
    Anyone else get annoyed by people sometimes? I mean I supposed to be stoic and remain vigilant but there are triggers
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Supposed to be stoic at all times? Sounds exhausting. And impossible. Getting annoyed with others is part of living.
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    I am often annoyed with myself, not just others
    KevinMao133
    To whomever is suffering or dealing with difficulties, here’s a quote I’ve learned:

    “No one has control over you, but you.”

    Took me a while to figure this out. Still trying to incorporate this into my day to day life as well as decision making
    KevinMao133
    I just realized something, my ego is often getting in my way, I can do better. Hard to fix the issue though
    S
    Slime_Punk
    This is a very wise realization! I think most of our problems stem from this, and it's definitely difficult to overcome, but absolutely not impossible!
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Hard to fix, but not impossible. Realization is the first step.
    KevinMao133
    Most people these days are weird and stupid. Again I may be outdated but fools my age, can’t deal with them. I prefer someone who’s older and can guide me through life. People who are my age depend on me to do everything, yet they offer nothing in return
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