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  • I wanted to share this particularly with @Raggamuffin and @mysterionz on the last profile post but I'll share it openly. I got invited to join an artist's association yesterday! They said they were interested in helping me sell some of my drawings too. Even though I do post my art on here sometimes I'm still shy about it because some people have been overly critical.
    They said it’s just a huge bruise, nothing particularly serious. Nothing is broken and there are no serious internal injuries. I think I was feeling sick earlier from the pain from the bruise. Anyway, I’m relieved.
    L
    Luca
    Omg, that's awful! :(
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I met a guy in a store who tripped over his dog on the stairs and broke his leg. (His dog wasn't trained). Glad you are in better health. A lady came in, she broke her front tooth chopping down on a almond. Freak accidents.
    L
    Luca
    That's terrible! Unfortunately, accidents can happen to anyone at any time. I will be holding onto the railings on stairs from now on.
    I fell down the stairs this morning and bruised my ribs, hip and lower back. Falling is not unusual for me but this was a bad one. I ended up sleeping all day (concerning) and just made breakfast and coffee and am now nauseous (concerning.) I'm going to go to urgent care and get it checked out in case there are internal injuries. But I'm going to go in the late morning when it's likely quiet. I never get a break! :(
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Good luck. Enzo and family are all waiting for you. I am sending you healing light since you are trying to get through a tough time right now. We need to put white healing light around you.
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    Dog V4 sends an ears down wag. Hope you feel better soon.
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    "falling is not unusual for me"

    I can not recommend this, unless you´re a cat.

    good luck anyways
    Heyo Luca. How are you doing today?
    L
    Luca
    Hi! Thanks for checking in :) I had a much better day. Still struggling but I'm hanging in there for now.
    How are you?
    mysterionz
    mysterionz
    Finally over a cold I have, and editing a YouTube video. I’m doing decently well.
    L
    Luca
    That's good! Hope you've been able to do some drawing lately. I sketched some tattoo art yesterday for the first time in (I think) months. I need to draw and paint more. It's therapeutic.
    I was in a dog-friendly store with my dogs today. Some idiot had this horribly behaved, aggressive German Shepherd that was barking. She wasn't controlling it. My dogs are obviously obedient and just sat there calmly even though they were clearly nervous. I got really angry and told her to leave. People give me a hard time about how strict I am with my dogs but at least I know they would never behave that way!
    L
    Luca
    That's too bad about your neighbor's dogs. Some people are really questionable pet owners.
    I'm glad Dog V4 is so friendly with people! I sometimes wonder if Enzo is on the spectrum too since he also can't read other dogs. He is convinced that all dogs are friendly and want to play with him even if they're growling and have aggressive posture.
    Outdated
    Outdated
    Ruby was the same, and if I raised my voice to her she'd be useless for the rest of the day, all she'd do was try to lick my hand. Reminded me of myself.
    L
    Luca
    My dogs are the same, and so am I. I have never felt more guilty than when I raised my voice at my 3-month-old puppy for chewing up a prayer card from my grandfather's funeral. I burst into tears afterwards. It hit me especially hard knowing what it's like to be shouted at for something I didn't mean to do.
    I feel a lot better today. I cried a lot, which actually helped. Thank you everyone for putting up with me. I know I can be a lot to deal with.
    Loren
    Loren
    I think the same of both of you ❤️
    Outdated
    Outdated
    I noticed the story about the dog in the shop first and was so glad to see you are feeling better. And I don't know why you think people are "putting up with you", I enjoy your company.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    I do not feel that you are a lot to deal with. We go through our ups and downs. Last week Two people I admire, Aspychata and Rodafina, took the time to help me deal with a PTSD meltdown. We all help each other here.

    Hugs to you.
    For the first time in several years, I actually kind of feel suicidal. I have no support system in my personal life. I'm alone all the time. I have friends but they never check up on me. My family clearly doesn't give a crap. This forum is often helpful for me but I don't feel like I've been helpful to anyone or contributed anything of value, especially lately. The holidays made it painfully clear that no one cares.
    Outdated
    Outdated
    I also sometimes think I spend too much time on this forum, it has become like a surrogate family. You're part of that family Luca, one of the people I really enjoy talking to. For over a year the only person I spoke to was the girl at the corner shop when I bought tobacco once a fortnight, this has to be healthier than that.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    You are not alone in feeling this Luca. And you come across a very positive and helpful person in general, but it is completely okay to feel negative feelings sometimes.
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    Dog V4 sends a hug. Some days my brain is firing and some it's braining away not adding to anything useful. We all have our off days or off weeks. Being alone is very hard for a social person like you Luca. I'll be trying harder at my New Year's resolutions, I see many needing respite with no way of getting it.
    I think I need to step away from the forums and do some soul-searching in my in-person life. What I really need is to make better connections irl. I also don't think I've really contributed anything meaningful or particularly helpful as of late. I need to find a better therapist who can help me process my childhood trauma effectively and I need to find an autism support group in person. I don't think I'm truly happy.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    So glad you recognized this. I have the same issue but l have shed that, because in the end, it will hold you back. Look how accomplished you are.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I thank my parents, because maybe l wouldn't have tried harder if l wasn't so busy trying to prove them wrong. If my family was normal, l may be on a different path conforming to standards that aren't mine.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I say thank your parents, and let go of their expectations of you. You no longer have to judge yourself by them.
    Took me over two and a half hours but I sketched out the line art for my next tattoo. Going to show it to my tattoo artist tomorrow.
    Enzo, his cousin, and his father (his cousin and father are my best friend's dogs.) I think I'm going to put this one on my right forearm, opposite of my Arctic fox one. Same theme.
    Pointer Tattoo Art.jpg
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You probably feel overwhelmed with all this attention, but it's time people realize you are a force to be reckoned with, and you aren't going anywhere. Sit back, soak up your recognition of your many talents, and HEY- love yourself. :)
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I even like the flowers, l love beautiful composition of pictures. It's not easily taught, some artists struggle with composition, but clearly you have a gift. Also the eye is suppose to circle around the picture, that's why some pictures look dead, and others look alive. The eye follows around taking in all the details.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    So my eye starts with Enzo, goes to the right following the flowers, then travels up and over and then back to Enzo.
    Found the most amazing place to take my dogs to run. A currently uninhabited farm. I’m hoping I will someday have the money to fix the place up.

    FAA9983B-379C-466B-8E89-EDF40F632CD8.jpeg
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    This does exist in California.
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    We have squatters rights in the UK. The problem is the law changed in 2001. This made it far harder to make the claim where deeds exist. You have to be able to prove that you have maintained it for twelve years.
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    That's my kind of place. I could easily live there. After fixing it up. That grey building probably needs to be demolished or dismantled and rebuilt, the roof is sagging it looks like. But that's doable. What a nice place, all it needs is a nice garden and a pond or lake, I wonder if there's a pond somewhere there.
    I'm tired of people blaming me for being overweight and saying things that aren't even true like I "eat too much" or I'm "too sedentary." Neither of those things are true at all and I don't have any unhealthy food in my fridge right now. Part of what no one understands is that I gained a lot of weight after recovering from anorexia and taking SSRIs. Even if I did relapse now I don't think my body would change back.
    Outdated
    Outdated
    I agree with maycontainthunder, you look a healthy weight. Don't change your diet, change your friends.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Weight is such a personal subject, l don't feel its my place to say much. I never ever talked to my daughter about weight because l wanted her to feel comfortable with her weight. She seems very comfortable now. You have to love yourself and tell people don't body shame me. It's none of their business.
    M
    MadFit
    When I was underweight, people including my doctor used to blame me for being under-weight. They’d ask if I eat enough. The truth was yes I do. I just RARELY over-eat. When i over-eat i feel queasy.
    Ever find it weird how people you barely know have such strong opinions about your life and who you are as a person? Lol
    S
    Slime_Punk
    Yes! People love their trash talk for real
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Everybody has a say about my dating life. Omg. It's so upsetting. Everybody tells me to dump my male friends. Because it isn't serious. Maybe not being serious is nice. Don't get me started......
    Over a year ago I would've never dreamed I'd have a dog like Enzo. A dog that consistently does his best under pressure with multiple distractions. Today we did an Advanced Excellent practice rally course (off leash) while a dog was barking in his face behind the fence (unplanned) Not only did he complete the course several times but he did an Open Masters obedience run afterwards with a new obstacle (dumbbell fetch)
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    Luca
    I know I show off about him a lot but it's hard not to when he has earned titles that no dog of his breed has ever earned before, and gotten to levels of competition that people laughed in my face and told me he couldn't do. Pointers are incredibly intelligent and versatile dogs, and in the right hands they can do anything!
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    That's pretty amazing. You two were meant to be together. He inspires me to ignore people who constantly bark in my face and laugh at me.
    Just learned that when Enzo earns his Rally Advanced Excellent title, it sounds like he will be the first Pointer in American Kennel Club history to do so. What an honor.
    I was supposed to go to a competition tomorrow but it has been postponed tentatively until this or next weekend. Fingers crossed!
    After talking to my therapist earlier I realized how much I truly feel unappreciated, invisible and ignored by almost everyone in my personal life. My parents, most of my friends, etc. It is kind of depressing to think about how unimportant I actually am to these people and how they would just go on with their lives and be like “whatever” if something happened to me. I especially wish my parents noticed me more.
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    Luca
    That’s my uncle’s house :) I can’t afford that lol
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Without family I was making arrangements for my final disposal when I die. The director asked what I would like for an obituary and all I want is; "A life so common it disappears."
    M
    Mr. Stevens
    If Autistic people had their own money, this would be on there instead of "In God We Trust."
    I wish I had a dollar for every time someone tells me Enzo is the best behaved dog they’ve ever seen. I would have a lot of money lol
    Incidentally, we’re working on earning a new title: AKC Fit Dog (bronze level, working up to gold.) Enzo already has completed most of his Rally titles.
    I think I’m going to go to the ER and get checked out. I’m having lower back pain, nausea, and I’m lightheaded. Might have to call an ambulance since I don’t want to drive when I’m like this and no one is around.
    Markness
    Markness
    I saw ER in your post and thought “Oh no!” It’s a good thing it wasn’t something drastic. :(
    Aneka
    Aneka
    I'm relieved that you're okay. A pulled muscle or pinged nerve can certainly cause these symptoms. I had a pinged nerve last year and had to sleep in a sitting postion.
    I don't know much about American healthcare but it would be great if you could find a physiotherapist.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    It is very painful.
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