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Markness

Markness

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  • Markness
    I’d rather die than live a life without having a romantic partner if things don’t change for me soon.
    Markness
    I feel like those who dislike me will still tear me down even if I get better.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Probably! Some folks only gripe when they breathe.
    But I think if you do get better,--OK, when-- don't give them that satisfaction of knowing. Just do it for you.
    Kirsty
    Kirsty
    You kind of have to hide your happiness, but that can be hard and any ounce of happiness that shows can be knocked down in seconds. Just try to look as neutral as possible so you won’t get hurt.
    Markness
    I attempted to make a conversation with someone at a coffeehouse. They only gave me short replies and someone joined them. :(
    View previous comments…
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    I honestly don't know how you interpret "you shouldn't have a relationship until you can have a healthy one" to mean "you should NEVER have a relationship". Do you think you can't evolve?
    Markness
    Markness
    @Callistemon I am scared that I can’t because my efforts continue to fail. I want to evolve and it’s frustrating when it seems that I can not.
    Markness
    Markness
    @Owliet You probably won’t reply now but I am honestly tired of people assuming they think of how my thought processes work. I don’t view people as NPCs and I don’t think children are commodities. I find that unfair to be told that’s what I am thinking.
    Markness
    My back hurts but I am too broke to afford a massager.
    View previous comments…
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    Pilates Pilates Pilates. Back injury since 21 and only causes problems if I don't do Pilates. You can start small with the stretches and build up the core-strengthening exercises gradually. Much more effective and environmentally friendly than a bandaid gadget.
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    That's terrible, @crewlucaa_ , and the "like" is just good vibes here. Are you finding active walking with your dogs is helpful too? I always have to walk after trimming donkey feet...
    L
    Luca
    Thank you :) I had the injection in December and it did help although I’m not sure it was worth two days of crying every time something touched my back…
    Walking is super helpful! And I’m finding myself able to go for longer and longer hikes now.
    Markness
    A friend told me she’s pregnant. I know I should be happy for her but instead it feels like another punch in the face. :(
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    @Aspychata Are you saying I can one day say “Yes” instead of “No” if I am asked if I have a lover and possibly children?
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Really hope so for you. I worry about us fixating on things. I think it's our nature to fixate on what we don't have.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I fixated that l would never be as successful as my brother. Now l don't as much. I hope that makes sense. By the way, my brother is very successful.
    Markness
    I wish I could go somewhere to socialize but others usually have company with them or they just don’t like me at all. :(
    View previous comments…
    L
    Luca
    And a constant complaint about me is that I “talk too much.”
    tree
    tree
    @Markness When you say *going talk talk talk talk*....do you mean that literally? Do you just say "talk talk talk"? Or do you mean you tend to fill silences by saying what you can think of? And somehow whatever is on your mind doesn't seem to suit whoever you may be talking to??
    Markness
    Markness
    I try to talk about things that are hopefully interesting, especially when the conversation drops and I try to salvage it. I don’t literally say “talk talk talk talk talk talk.”
    Markness
    If I don’t get into a relationship this year, I don’t want to live anymore. :(
    cornman
    cornman
    :(
    L
    Luca
    There are other things you could be basing your self worth on. This makes me sad :( :(
    Markness
    I honestly don’t know what “hitting rock bottom” is.
    tree
    tree
    Seems like you're there a lot of the time.
    Markness
    Markness
    Someone told me I needed to hit there but she didn’t explain what it would entail. It honestly sounds like ill will.
    tree
    tree
    Someone is always telling you something......and it frequently turns out you think they mean you harm.
    Markness
    My mother was the first one to tell me “I don’t want you to have a girlfriend.”
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    crewlucaa_, here’s the hypocritical thing about my mother. She’s on her fourth marriage and can’t stand the thought of being unmarried.
    L
    Luca
    Oh, that is definitely a bit strange… sorry if I said anything insensitive :(
    tree
    tree
    How does focusing on the hypocrisy of another person further your happiness?
    Markness
    I lost my credit card right after I made a transaction with it. I keep losing stuff. I also found out my tax return had to be adjusted. :(
    L
    Luca
    I get that. I’m sorry:(
    One time I left my wallet on an Amtrak train and had to cancel all my cards :(
    L
    Luca
    They never found it btw… guess it was stolen :/
    Markness
    I feel like a loser for not traveling abroad or even to the neighboring countries of the US. :( My mother is honestly partly to blame.
    L
    Luca
    Traveling abroad is expensive. I’ve only been able to with my parents so far.
    Markness
    I thought I would have a wife and children by now. Why were my dreams denied?
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I had a husband and kids and both walked away from me. Just saying.....
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    I thought when I was 17 that I'd have (by now) finished the first half of an education. Now I'm wrapping up an education in a secular field, crushed a job interview today, and planning on adventures (though I must go alone.) In a lot of ways? I'm learning to like this better.
    L
    Luca
    I think I’m doing better solo for the most part too… more time to focus on my job and my dogs, and I’m planning on going on a trip to several countries in Europe, to visit some friends but also hike a lot of Scandinavia and other countries over there. Also hopefully moving to Québec within the next couple of years. If I find a husband, cool. If I don’t, I’ll be fine. Lol
    Markness
    Please let me die.
    cornman
    cornman
    no dawg, cold and stiff isn't a good look for you (or anyone). hang in there friend
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    No Markness. Please hold on. Don't let your mom beat you down. I had to leave my family at 17. They didn't have my best interests.
    tree
    tree
    @Markness Isn't it more likely that you're wishing you could remove feelings of loneliness, failure, inferiority, rejection....?
    Markness
    Bleeding out of my bum again :(
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    I was going to get some but I forgot to bring my bank cards with me.
    Markness
    Markness
    I went back and the affordable product is not there. :(
    tree
    tree
    How many places have you tried? What alternative products are available? (You asked your health care provider about alternative products, right ?)
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