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My closest local friend will be unavailable to hang with me most of next month because his mother in law is getting a kidney transplant today. I get that taking care of her is a priority, but I sure will miss hanging with him in the meanwhile.
Time for me to work on building myself up. The urge to wallow is strong but it has gotten me nowhere. The echolalia is not going to leave on its own. I have to work to shut it up.
I am seriously considering quitting my PT job today. Instead, I am going to talk to my doctor about a possible meds change.
Hey, yesterday was pretty rough for you. I hope you are feeling better today. I have a lot of anger for something l was subjected to for years. It took me a longtime to understand holding on to anger just kills you in the end. So l just work on releasing the hurt, anger, and understand that there are incredibly horrid people out there. But they can't control us.
Bloody hell. So much anger within me that never ends unless I distract myself. So much justified anger. Some people in my family deserve to die.
Do I deserve to keep living when my brain is a miasma of hate and resentment?
I resent the fact that when I was a child, my parents forced the message onto me that personal and sexual boundaries were forbidden for me. So much hate in my heart over that.
A short film worth watching.
My brain has been stuck on obscene obsessive resentful echolalia mode for the last three decades, and I want it to stop. right. now.
I have had better days, but I also have had much worse days.
I woke up and started vomiting, and I am running a temp of 100.7, so my boss told me to take a sick day today.
I feel like going to a Thai restaurant and ordering their sweet chili chicken, then mixing it with a generous serving of white rice and digging in.
There is a fire going on somewhere near my office building. My office building is not on fire, but I smell smoke around my front desk.
Shou ga nai. -
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