People are treating me like dirt outside in public 100% ostracized by everyone. I rather end my life then be around these people. I should have stayed home. I got much more respect there.
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Tony Ramirez
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I finally figured out what wanderlust means. I have it and I looked it up when your broke. I already been doing everything it said to do locally and that does crap when every tom dick and harry talks in your face about there great wanderlust plans far and abord.
Game night was good tonight. We hanged out mixed genders. I felt more comfortable around women. I also found that a women was shy which is why she did not open up to me or anyone being in NYC only weeks. Now adjusting more tonight to everyone.
My mother's speech about being yourself, smiling, and you will be liked is full of crap. Women still hate me.
Damn it. I am at the coffee shop Roots now and it's all women. One snob actually got up with all her crap and moved away from me and I did not even look at her or anything. I was just in the table in front. Now there are about 6 other women with one other entering. I might leave now and just walk around for an hour and find a park and come back. I can't handle this.
I'm starting to utter the s word more now in public as the GD word.
I see uglier men with beautiful wives and kids, and I can't even get one as a casual friend or even one to know I exist anymore. What the hell is wrong with me. That is why I am worthless and not worth nothing. I don't deserve to live anymore.
I wish there were more miserable people like me in my area to hang with instead of the happy annoying people around me everywhere.
I wish I could end my miserable life easy without all the crap of having of everyone saying things will get better.
Every day, I keep waking up alive, is worse than the last. Why can't I just die in my sleep.
More bad luck. I dropped my phone walking to the cafe but I don't think I chipped the screen. The screen protector looks a bit bended but the great case did protect it. Everything is going wrong in my life on top of this
Yoga sucked today. It was good until I had to hear about every damn person talk about her husband her boyfriend his girlfriend his wife. I had to get the hell out of there before I made a scene that would have got me banned.
My curse of women hating me is back. It started in 1995 and broke in 2000. Then it came back in 2003 and was broken in 2019. Now it's back again in 2024. I will be decrepit, more mental and broken by the time it's broken again.
Apparently I must suddenly lack empathy with women now, the way they have been currently treating me. Feels just like college and my 20s again.
Women I don't know have been ostracizing me, treating me like dirt all day, even when I sat next to them even just me and one in yoga class only talked to the teacher after I was trying to talk in a group. I am not in a good mood.
I went to my local deli to buy a drink but I had no cash just my phone to pay but it was a $5:limit so I put my drink back but the kind women said that it's okay and she pays for the soda must have known I was stressed. I could not believe there are kind women and she did not even look the type either.
I threatened to be kicked out of the yoga studio because of my constant trauma dumping due to my trauma with girls and travel envy. I now heard this after my latest breakdown. I am losing everything in my life.
It's bad in my house. I snapped. My mother won't talk to me. Says I'm useless. I wish I was dead like I should be.
When I get home if my control freak family annoy me I am going to snap on them especially my father and will be WW3 at home.
I freaking hate 2 word conversations with most single standoffish women. It's like those women they purposely do them to me to piss me off. But men and most married women will actually have longer conversations with me. -
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