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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Single Lonely Hated Aspie 47 From Brooklyn, NY
Joined
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Viewing thread im back! + feeling like i can “control” my autism?
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  • Tony Ramirez
    Life group was stressful today. There were over ten people there and whenever I tried to talk the dog will start barking and the doorbell would ring.

    Yet when the others talked on and on they were not inturruped until I tried to talk then I was inturruped.

    What is up with that?
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I seen that happen your right.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Still sucks. :imp:
    S
    Slime_Punk
    I've had this happen, too! I definitely think for me it's usually a self-fulfilling prophecy because I won't return to saying much after the interruption and assume everyone has tuned me out, which definitely doesn't help the issue.

    Sometimes, though, this really does happen to people. I've witnessed it from afar and it's like luck / magic just isn't on their side for the day. It's a weird phenomenon.
    Tony Ramirez
    My yoga teacher says I am the only student who went to every teacher.
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    They are separate classes. One teacher might only teach in the morning. While other teacher only teach in the evening.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Also all four teachers know me on a first name basis.
    tree
    tree
    Sure, you're the guy that shows up regularly and is putting his heart into it.
    Tony Ramirez
    Why do I keep freezing when I want to speak to a girl I find attractive?

    Just now there was one in yoga class that smiled at me but I just could not talk to her.
    Jordy
    Jordy
    I can also get nervous with pretty woman.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    It's easier if they are talking to someone I know and I join in.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    That may be easier, but may not get you noticed. I hope that you will have confidence that you are a worthwhile person who make a good companion for somebody who will take the time to know you. Are you enjoying the yoga? But you see, you are being noticed positively. Remind yourself of that.
    Tony Ramirez
    Why can't I break the cycle thinking all woman hate me when I know it's not true?
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks for the support. I guess I feel like this when a woman ignores me. It's hard to distinguish if she is rude or not.
    Judge
    Judge
    Sometimes there's also the likelihood that their attention is elsewhere in their own mind. Where it may appear as being rude, but really is just one's attention elsewhere in real time. Something we can't see or detect so easily.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    That's what I think. Like they are preoccupied with something else.
    Tony Ramirez
    My cat Gray was not peeing, but we took him to the vet, and he had no blockage. He peed there. He must eat nothing but prescription food.
    Tony Ramirez
    Another private yoga class with my female teacher. Again no one else bothered to show up. Better for me because I am not distracted and I can focus on the poses.

    I was able to get one on one and my stretching is improving.
    tree
    tree
    That Chair Pose is strenuous.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I did not have to do the chair pose today. But tomorrow I will.
    Tony Ramirez
    My Yoga teachers are proud I am the only student who shows up several times while others are just one and done.
    Stuttermabolur
    Stuttermabolur
    I've also been in that situation numerous times. If I have an obligation of some sort, I'll be there, even if it's difficult.
    Tony Ramirez
    It's hard to make new friends when the same people you don't want to be friends with always show up. The ones you do want to be friends with rarely or only show up once never to show up again.
    Tony Ramirez
    I have been feeling heavier the past few days. I have not done yoga the past weekend, but I did it today. I am afraid to weigh myself.
    tree
    tree
    How about not weighing yourself for another day or two?

    And keep sneaking in some yoga moves, meanwhile.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Will do. I went again tonight for yoga and although it was a flow class I sweat a bit.
    Tony Ramirez
    How do people talk to someone for over 10 minutes with no interruptions while I try to talk to someone and it lasts a minute or less and most of the time I am inturrupted?
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I just see so many people having deep conversations while mine always fizzle out.
    Jordy
    Jordy
    You talk about a lot of experiences I relate to.
    Jordy
    Jordy
    It's a combination of the fact that autism gives you a low social status and that's how people treat you when you are low social status. And then it may also be that autism makes you unable to understand when it's your turn to speak. So you talk when someone else is supposed to and then they interrupt you as a consequence.
    Tony Ramirez
    I feel so depressed tonight. I am trying not to let married people bother me but it's hard not to feel lonely and stay positive.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Hang in there. With positive changes, I am learning, there are always ebbs and flows. Sometimes we can feel strong in our changes, but we are bound to have our usual troubles resurface.
    Tony Ramirez
    Why is when you go to new place after a while the people you don't want to show up show up all the time? The people you want to show up rarely show up or only show up once? Story of my life I guess.
    Tony Ramirez
    The closests I got to kissing a girl was a friendly peck on the cheek and that has not happened in 20 years.
    Tony Ramirez
    Men turn me off which is why I have very few photos of them but over a thousand of women. Of course being a heterosexual male that's expected.
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    That's true. My cats are male.

    Also my close friend Justin is a man but married. Believe it or not when I was a young teenager I had some turn ons with males having all male cousins but that quickly ended when my puberty peaked. By the time I was in college I really lusted over woman. I think it's gotten worse but I am trying to control it.
    tree
    tree
    It isn't at all uncommon for kids to have crushes on same sex individuals.

    There was an older girl I liked when I was in high school.
    She said she "luved" me.
    Another girl had to explain to me that "luv" didn't mean she was "in love"
    with me.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks. Glad all the things I thought when I was young was not wrong. I grew up not saying anything. I did not have a therapist until during college when I dropped out.
    Tony Ramirez
    I bared it all my rare phobias at life group today. They were understanding and wonder how I still do things like get out.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Probably because you're stronger than we think--stronger than you think, for sure, and it's been a real treat watching you growing so quickly. It's like you were released from a dungeon. Good work, Tony!
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks.
    Tony Ramirez
    I was the only one in my Yoga class. I had another private class.
    View previous comments…
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    It’s kind of nice that you are having both the group experience and then some individual instruction as well. I feel like this would be an ideal situation for many people that attend yoga class.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Nice. You like the attention?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I had another private class with my male teacher.
    Tony Ramirez
    I always sweat buckets when I talk to my female yoga teachers.
    View previous comments…
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Awesome. Your hopeful news you share here is really inspiring me to remember that change is possible.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    You have been making amazing progress, Tony. Keep on engaging and soon the anxiety will dissapate when you recognize that talking to those instructors is just a normal part of life and engaging positively with people. The response shows that your interaction is appreciated.
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