Beyond the autism component. The effect of intelligence in social situations.

The awesome author, Italio Calvino, wrote a novella called "The Nonexistent Knight."

The premise was this - in an act of utter cowardice and betrayal, a knight (court of King Arthur) discards his armor and runs away.

The empty suite of armor, though, comes to life, and becomes the absolute paragon of Knight my perfection - perfectly honest, perfectly just, perfectly devoted to duty, etc.

Naturally, even the perfect Sir Galahad despise the nonexistent knight. Nobody likes perfection - they can barely handle the concept of "better than me."

The video reminds me of that.

I know that growing up, trying to share things I had learned seemed to offend others quite frequently. Then when you quit speaking much (because speaking gets you either mocked or scolded so frequently) that is apparently offensive too. I had gotten to where I was mostly only talkative when it was just my Mama and I by ourselves or when someone would bring up one of my special interests. I am trying to learn to go back to being my myself more frequently. There is no reason to "mask" if that was what I was doing, if it just changes the nature of the accusations. If I be myself, people say things along the lines of know-it-all or chatter-box. If I stay quiet (like I did during much of my time in retail) they start accusing me of being dangerous. So I need to just work past the anxieties that have formed and just accept that some people will complain about how many topics I know about or how much I chatter, ask questions (to learn more), ect.

I'm not smart, never have been, but I'm still not popular.
It's very rare that I have more knowledge than the group I'm in, no matter how old they are. I like it that way though. I don't want to be clever. I prefer average.

I find I just agree with people and take their word for things that are fact-related. Okay I know a bit about rats but that's only because I have rats as pets, which are an unusual pet, and everyone develops some knowledge in whatever they're interested or involved in or enjoy, etc. But I only (slightly) infodump when it's relevant and I also do it to make more people aware of how lovely rats really are.

Giving little facts every now and then in a relevant conversation is not weird or annoying. I've just learnt some things I never knew before about fish, from an NT coworker who has pet fish of all sorts.

I won't comment on the subject, other than to offer a link that reflects what I was taught about such things in the past, which very much still exist in the present. Beyond the autism component:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1532673X17719507

Judge said:

I won't comment on the subject, other than to offer a link that reflects what I was taught about such things in the past, which very much still exist in the present. Beyond the autism component:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1532673X17719507

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If you want to see a really good example of this, watch the debate Ken Ham had with Bill Nye regarding evolution.

People watching the debate all agree that Ham made a better impression.

The reason is simple - to explain a principle of evolution (how did eyes evolve?), Nye had to give a long, moderately complicated explanation within a limited time period, but Ham just kept saying "according to what this book says" - a much shorter, much less complicated explanation that seems emotionally satisfying, but didn't really explain how anything works.

TBRS1 said:

If you want to see a really good example of this, watch the debate Ken Ham had with Bill Nye regarding evolution.

People watching the debate all agree that Ham made a better impression.

The reason is simple - to explain a principle of evolution (how did eyes evolve?), Nye had to give a long, moderately complicated explanation within a limited time period, but Ham just kept saying "according to what this book says" - a much shorter, much less complicated explanation that seems emotionally satisfying, but didn't really explain how anything works.

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Then there's the Scope's "Monkey Trial". Debate over evolution being taught in public school.

Though both the prosecution and defense were waged by very intelligent men. Ironically to think that while the prosecution won their case, the verdict was thrown out on appeal.

But it was clear which side the public remained on the issue of evolution back in 1925.

Autism has nothing to do with intelligence, per se. That so-called "bell curve" of intelligences, from what I've been able to glean, is quite similar to that of neurotypicals.

The point of it was that, as @Misty Avich pointed out, if you are on the autism spectrum, there's a good chance you're going to be marginalized, regardless of intelligence. My point though, if you are on the autism spectrum AND highly intelligent, then that has an additive effect. You might as well be from an entirely different planet.

I've found it to be a mixed bag, I get a lot of respect from a lot of people but also some resentment, and often both of those in the one person.

Neonatal RRT said:

Autism has nothing to do with intelligence, per se. That so-called "bell curve" of intelligences, from what I've been able to glean, is quite similar to that of neurotypicals.

The point of it was that, as @Misty Avich pointed out, if you are on the autism spectrum, there's a good chance you're going to be marginalized, regardless of intelligence. My point though, if you are on the autism spectrum AND highly intelligent, then that has an additive effect. You might as well be from an entirely different planet.

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Yep. A special kind of social pariah. Then add in being female. Most men feel threatened by "smart chics" and most women resent you for it.

I had a peer. Another brainy ND, but he was so sad and angry for being so marginalised he took to the bottle and that made him even angrier. Now, I hang out with trans people if I hang out with anyone.
It's been a lonely bright-girl existance.
The only time men have really wanted me I've been so incredibly alone and vulnerable it's like an aphrodesiac for them; they think I will stay that way and be ever so malliable and compliant, but, I'm too smart to stay under anyone's thumb forever.

I don't do so well with know-it-alls, though I'm not saying know-it-alls and knowledgeable people are the same thing. I look up to smart, wise people who really are intelligent. But some people seem to just be know-it-alls as a way to put you down, doubt you, make sure you're always in the wrong, and they do it because they know that you lack the knowledge to know whether they're right or wrong.

Like when I was younger I hung around with my cousin a lot, and he was often a know-it-all, and any interests I wanted to talk about he got there first and started asking me questions about them, expecting me to know, and he seemed to know a lot more than me about everything because most of the questions he asked I either got wrong or didn't know the answer to at all, and he gave a supposed right answer.

I've always been the opposite of a know-it-all. I'm sort of a know-nothing. No, I'm not putting myself down, I really mean it. Okay I know how to write and spell and all that but that still doesn't mean I'm an intelligent, knowledgeable person. I mean, every time I do a crossword puzzle I always get stuck somewhere and can't complete it without help. Or the JetPunk quiz site I go on, it seems you really have to have a high IQ to be able to complete most of those quizzes there. I just don't know most of the answers, especially if they're about countries or history. The type of quizzes I like best are the word quizzes that don't really have a specific subject, like the "Name 5-Letter Words Containing Each Letter A-Z" quizzes, which I can't seem to complete but it's still timeless.

Outdated said:

I've found it to be a mixed bag, I get a lot of respect from a lot of people but also some resentment, and often both of those in the one person.

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Agree. Depends upon the company you keep. My inner circle is pretty small.

Neonatal RRT said:

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Thanks for the reminder that I'm smart and unpopular and always have been. Kind of depressing. But I appreciate the tips in the vid. I try to compensate by dressing creatively, being kindly and keeping myself scarce for the most part. I'm not employed at present.
This has been a lifelong curse for me. Even my family have rejected me. And men, who start out attracted, end up feeling threatened and it's been bewildering to me, but this video clarifies things for me. Still, it's not a happy reality.

Misty Avich said:

I don't do so well with know-it-alls, though I'm not saying know-it-alls and knowledgeable people are the same thing. I look up to smart, wise people who really are intelligent. But some people seem to just be know-it-alls as a way to put you down, doubt you, make sure you're always in the wrong, and they do it because they know that you lack the knowledge to know whether they're right or wrong.

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I don't know which (if either) you would consider me. When a person would blurt out "facts" that they actually just made up themselves, I would go search my encyclopedia sets or other relevant reference materials and check to see if they were correct or not if I was unsure. If I already knew they were wrong but they insisted that they were correct, I would bring the encyclopedia, dictionary, ect. and show the accurate information to the entire group involved in the conversation.

I think that one thing a lot of "smart" people lack is social and emotional intelligence, and knowing how to "read the room." Not every situation is appropriate to monologue about my interests. In general, most people are very self-centered and tribal. If you are not part of their group, you may not be well-received.

It also helps to know that different groups behave differently depending on the overall social climate. For example, I work with a lot of medical people. This group is highly educated. In addition, this group is also part of a larger, very diverse community. So people who look different and act different are more well-received, as compared to a place like where my grandparents live, which is smaller, less educated, less diverse, and more homogenous and therefore differences are considered suspicious and not as well received.

Neonatal RRT said:

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Watched this yesterday,

If a person is smart and has trouble talking to people, they might want to learn the art of Socratic Questioning/the Socratic Method.

This helps other people be smart(er), too.

I am not intimidated by people more intelligent than I am...
I am drawn to them...
And learn from them...

FayetheAspie said:

I don't know which (if either) you would consider me. When a person would blurt out "facts" that they actually just made up themselves, I would go search my encyclopedia sets or other relevant reference materials and check to see if they were correct or not if I was unsure. If I already knew they were wrong but they insisted that they were correct, I would bring the encyclopedia, dictionary, ect. and show the accurate information to the entire group involved in the conversation.

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No, it seems like it's your autism.

Neonatal RRT said:

Autism has nothing to do with intelligence, per se. That so-called "bell curve" of intelligences, from what I've been able to glean, is quite similar to that of neurotypicals.

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I suspect most people equate intelligence with being intellectual.
I don't.

I do believe that those on the spectrum, as a group, tend to be more intellectual.

Does intellectual mean you're smart?


An intellectual person is usually intelligent, but doesn't have to be highly intelligent to begin with, but through their desire to learn, will eventually become more and more intelligent. Intelligence to some degree can be learned, like any skill.

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