Beyond the autism component. The effect of intelligence in social situations.

[Crossbreed]

@Neri, your problem is why groups like Mensa exist, if you qualify. Gifted men are not turned off by gifted women, unless they are socio-pathic...
(But that is true in both directions.)

My wife was never in Mensa, but she is neur-D, in the form of ADHD.

I am not intimidated by ppl more intelligent than I am...
I am drawn to them...
And learn from them...

I am the same way unless that person is, personally, a jerk.
Then, I will look for someone else to hang out with...

 

[Neri]

I suspect most people equate intelligence with being intellectual.
I don't.

I do believe that those on the spectrum, as a group, tend to be more intellectual.

My brother thinks I'm intellectual, I'm not. I consider myself a creative. My Dad is an intellectual. He just got his PhD.

 

[Neri]

@Neri, your problem is why groups like Mensa exist, if you qualify. Gifted men are not turned off by gifted women, unless they are socio-pathic...
(But that is true in both directions.)

My wife was never in Mensa, but she is neur-D, in the form of ADHD.

I am the same way unless that person is, personally, a jerk.
Then, I will look for someone else to hang out with...

No, I don't think I would fit in in Mensa. I don't put huge amount of stock in intellect. I'm way more impressed with EQ over IQ.

 

[Crossbreed]

No, I don't think I would fit in in mensa. I don't put huge amount of stock in intellect. I'm way more impressed with EQ over IQ.

Mensa is a social club for people who happen to be gifted. You do not have to constantly prove yourself in their get-togethers.

Our own face-palm moments are a popular recurring subject. Whenever someone says something not quite intelligent, the common, joking response is "Retest...!" All of its members are clearly bright, but we do not take it too seriously.

I like the slogan of American Mensa,
"Where Brilliance Belongs."

 

[vergil96]

Culture fit. Whether you wear tshirts or shirt and what colour. Lol.

 

[Outdated]

I was only ever able to go out with intelligent women, someone I could have a decent conversation with which is usually how I met them in the first place. Relationships with academics never lasted long though, I'm more of a "real world" person.

 

[vergil96]

The problem with very high intelligence is finiding people who are alike. The best IQ to have is not a lot above average. You're high in the social ladder, because you're better at things, but most people still get you. If the difference is too large, people don't understand your outloook and you're not ON the social ladder. And the other way round, no common interests or outlooks to talk about with the average person. Best way is to just do what you like to do and meet people who do the same things. I enjoy academia so far, for example.

 

[Neri]

Mensa is a social club for people who happen to be gifted. You do not have to constantly prove yourself in their get-togethers.

Our own face-palm moments are a popular recurring subject. Whenever someone says something not quite intelligent, the common, joking response is "Retest...!" All of its members are clearly bright, but we do not take it too seriously.

I like the slogan of American Mensa,
"Where Brilliance Belongs."

I just feel cringey about hanging out with people in a social context based on "smartness" , intellectual acuity.

I just watched a short of Jung, talking about "intuitive introverts", that's me. He said intuitive extroverts are your hunters, gamblers, wall street stock brokers, those kinds of people. Intuitive introverts have a far more difficult path, socially, that is, because we have powerful internal experiences and these are not very wise to try to explain to people, because they are not going to be understood. That's what Karl Gustav Jung said. So no. I don't think I would fit in with your everyday above-average intellectuals. But, I, probably, would have had great conversations with him though, Jung, that is.

 

[Crossbreed]

Intuitive introverts have a far more difficult path, socially, that is, because we have powerful internal experiences and these are not very wise to try to explain to people, because they are not going to be understood. That's what Karl Gustav Jung said.

Like here, the vast majority of folks are INTJs & INTPs.

 

[Neri]

Like here, the vast majority of folks are INTJs & INTPs.

I tested as the latter.

 

[Crossbreed]

I tested as the latter.

I alternate between the two.

 

[vergil96]

I just feel cringey about hanging out with people in a social context based on "smartness" , intellectual acuity.

Me too to some degree. Automatically the topic of that group becomes psychometric tests divorced from any other experiences. I have met people with a similar or higher IQ to mine with whom I had absolutely nothing in common, who had a very different personality and life experience and there was simply not a lot to bond over. High IQ groups have psychometric testing in common... and perhaps some sort of psychological, educational or psychiatric difficulties, that's how they got tested in the first place. Getting your IQ tested isn't the first thing that comes to mind if everything is going fine. Yeah, that's what I think they essentially are, support groups.

 

[Crossbreed]

Said giftedness (with or without autism) is just another form of neuro-diversity.

 

[Neri]

The upside for me is that I bred really bright kids. My youngest, a nineteen year old, is so bright that it's quite agonising for them (recently came out as trans non binary), and we are close. And my oldest is now learning "Life Coaching" and practising on me.

I didn't even finish school. I had a very rough home life and left home young. I had children young. I went back to school, university, a few years ago, but didn't find that fullfilling or worth the money I'm owing now. I found that the insular echo chamber of uni undergrad life, as I perceived it to be, was not very satisfying.

There are millions upon millions of brilliant content creators though and I'm reasonably content with my mutitude of pararelationships and (seeking and training to be) working in artistic and mental health arenas and being a parent to very bright individuals, who are, for the most part "twice exceptional"; Particularly my oldest and youngest, whom I have a lot of contact with.

I will probably study again though. Refresh my Mental Health Peer Support skills and knowledge with a course (I didn''t finish that either, typical ADHDer, or more accurately AuDHDer) and get a two to three day a week job, possibly working from home, while I spend the majority of my time devoted to my various artistic practices; music, visual arts, dance, wearable art, writing.

I am a very unconventional type of person. The phrases that get bandied around about me are ones like "Earth Mother" and "Free Spirit" and "Social Change Agent". Do you think people like me would find acceptance with Mensa people? I'm not so sure.

 

[Crossbreed]

Do you think people like me would find acceptance with Mensa people?

Yes. Mensan's come from all walks of life.
Not all of us have degrees --I don't-- but it is okay if you do.
Not all of us "get" chess --I don't-- but there are plenty who do.

My lowest IQ sub-score is in Processing Speed, so I am comparatively "slower on the uptake," but I learn things much more deeply, when I do learn them.

 

[Neri]

Yes. Mensan's come from all walks of life.
Not all of us have degrees --I don't-- but it is okay if you do.
Not all of us "get" chess --I don't-- but there are plenty who do.

My lowest IQ sub-score is in Processing Speed, so I am comparatively "slower on the uptake," but I learn things much more deeply, when I do learn them.

Oh, I have three chess playing offspring. Actually youngest gave it up but two still play a lot. I'm not remotely interested in chess, but, I find it interesting that I bred chess players.

 

[vergil96]

Yes. Mensan's come from all walks of life.

Don't most, even? I have quite a few academics in my family and family's friends too, and also doctors, lawyers, engineers. I don't think anyone belongs to Mensa even though many could. More education automatically offers the belonging to someone with a high IQ.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I suspect most people equate intelligence with being intellectual.
I don't.

I do believe that those on the spectrum, as a group, tend to be more intellectual.

It's one of the main reasons I like this forum. Even people on here who claim that they are of relatively low intelligence, for some reason, also come up with some well-thought out posts. I'm reading their posts like, "This is not a "simple" person, but rather someone who had the intellect to really say something coherent." As compared to say, other social media platforms where some people who claim they are intelligent come up with some of the most simple and ignorant posts. It's glaringly different. Most neurotypicals do not write paragraphs and explain their context and perspective well. Most autistics on here do, and then also, will pick apart others statements. It's kind of fun, actually, that is being challenged.

 

[vergil96]

@Neri do you socialise with other artists? How do you do it? All I've found is either internet groups or crowded offline events, it's not something I can navigate. I'm also trying to help a friend find ways to socialise with other artists and she can't for similar reasons.

 

[Masked Man]

When a person would blurt out "facts" that they actually just made up themselves, I would go search my encyclopedia sets or other relevant reference materials and check to see if they were correct or not if I was unsure. If I already knew they were wrong but they insisted that they were correct, I would bring the encyclopedia, dictionary, ect. and show the accurate information to the entire group involved in the conversation.

I used to do this but realized that, human beings, by and large, make decisions based upon their emotions and how they "feel" about something. So in social dynamics, people don't want the correct fact, they want people to agree with them.

I quit trying to be right all the time because it kept backfiring on me. If you want to be well liked, you have to choose: you can be right all the time or you can have relationships with others. Choose one.