Gasoline is such a overwhelming smell. Me and my Uncle had to fill a gas container for running the lawnmower and other equipment. Handing the stuff sucks, because it gets on your hands and takes a while to fade. Even after washing them.
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Had a busy day at my neighbor's place. Creating a trellis for the gourds he wants to grow, removing the blown engine from a old tiller, and fixing the panels on the garage door.
These hands were in oil, gas, dirt, and other materials, for about 3 hours or so. So it's been a productive day.
Today was a good day. Watched basketball, since today is the first day of March Madness.
The only thing that sucks is that arms and back started hurting this afternoon from the work in the garden yesterday. Having to move around a heavy tiller.
As of tomorrow, I will of been signed up here one year. Time flies. Time that has opened my eyes to alot and has me questioning everything.
This is another drawing I did. A more environmental drawing with Dimile. The stone slab says "The heart-soul calls all beings".
It's honestly kinda nuts how frequently temps fluctuate where I live. Today is going to be in the 70°F range today. Tomorrow, we are going to see around 40°F to 50°F temps.
Truthfully. I really only feel like I more recently have taken note of this. It's not even spring yet, and it sure as heck feels like it.
You know. This song was the TRUE start of my spiritual journey. I inadvertently started it after hearing this song in a music mod for Skyrim that changed the default soundtrack. Everytime I heard it, I felt one with the character I made.
That was a calling. I was being awakened.
I feel something calling inside me. I have been driven once more to listen to these:
It's like there is this indescribable desire to seek my inner spiritual awakening and be driven to find a home inhabited by my spirit, more than my body. This calling is so much stronger than before.
This is my attempt at drawing a bust image of Dimile. Thinking about adding more and coloring it later.
I just did this a moment ago. A quick sketch of what I was mentioning earlier. A rabbit/dragon hybrid. A Ragon(ra-gun). I am naming them Dimile Solhart.
I know this isn't a clean photo. But I am using my phone to take a picture.
It's been sometime since I listened to anything by Disturbed. This is a really good one. It eerily reflects a part of myself I am going to alleviate.
Though due to recent events. My anger isn't what it was. So maybe I have let go alot more than I thought.
I think I have found my full identity spiritually. Something that makes sense. I've always known that dragons are kin to me. But there was a missing piece for a long time. I feel I've found that piece possibly. In the form of the rabbit.
The mix of instincts, speed, power, wisdom, and just wonderous capabilities overall. Seem to match my overall being.
I never understood this before yesterday. I could never hate a person. What I hate, are unfair actions toward me and others. This DOES leave room to forgive my stepmother. How? Because I have separated the person from the actions, in how I am now thinking.
It's thier actions in my head. Not them.
We had a scare tonight. My Uncle fell over and had issues getting back up. He's alright now and is in bed. But it's up in the air what happened.
The day is has been getting better and better as it's been going on. I'm feeling a increase in spirit that seems to be burning brightly. It's not solely excitement. It's something else. A sense of determination, maybe. A feeling of increased resolve. Feeling like I am getting ready to face my demons head on.
I have had a bit of positive reinforcement tonight about my potential to improve and that I have improved alot from almost three years ago.
I watched Father Stu with my Uncle. The movie has given me alot to think about after watching it.
I have a bit of a dilemma. I have spotty memories with school. And what I do remember, I struggle to pull any feelings I could of felt about it at the time.
That tells me I was either overwhelmed by everything, or I was already very emotionally disconnected.
did you draw that avatar yourself?
it looks so cool!
like.....Usagi Generation (or whatever its called ) meets JTHM.
you into art? -
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