It's 2am. I am tired. Yet I do not sleep. Maybe if I stopped watching videos for 5 minutes, I may sleep.
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I feel like it was my mistake to try and share an interest. I won't try again. Just stick to blogs and maybe profile posts for those things, I guess.
There is always talk of hope. Of good. But it's hard to believe, when all you see is negativity and pure evil.
But maybe that's the core of human nature. Evil. And the path to betterment is accquiring what we don't naturally have.
But if that were true, we'd walk the path of demons. Because no one would care to fix themselves.
I can't wait to have coffee when I wake up. It's just such a comfort, but it helps me wake up. Til then sleep time.
I haven't watched the show. But this is just... amazing.
Freezing rain sucks. Though I guess not needing to go outside is a plus. But I can't imagine driving in it is fun if you have to go somewhere.
Thank goodness it'll get warm enough to melt it. Doesn't change the wet rainy day it's going to be regardless.
This is a creation for one of my older characters. A rather motherly and friendly kitsune in human form. Her name is Vixen.
My general mood today in song form.
I always tend to feel some kind of resonance with Silent Hill 2 and 3 sound tracks, particularly. But this one hits me in a special way. It feels to define my general emotional state if being a majority of the time. Even the name of the song, in some way, describes the self-torment I put myself through.
My brain plays one of these two videogame songs when snow is on the ground.
This is another reason why I like The Nightmare path in Slay The Princess.
A new character I made. No name for her yet.
That feeling when the bed is too comfortable to leave. XD
Feeling okay mentality today. Just unmotivated to do much due to waking up with a headache and feeling generally groggy this morning.
I'm starting to really hate my own brain. Once negative thoughts start, it just never stops. I feel trapped by my own self-doubt and self-loathing.
A goofy pointless video for the heck of it. XD
Ever since I watched a video on 'Slay the Princess', a game. I have been thinking about little else but that, and the existential journey I went through as I watched it. That sounds weird, I know.
I only perceive poison in everything. But it's not bitterness in the world. It's bitterness in myself for accepting these lies, as truth. I, long ago, shackled myself in selfishness. Yet was blind to it all, like a ignorant bug willingly flying into the web of a spider. As time marched on, so past by my chances to be a person. It's a distant flicker now. An abyss between us.
I've updated the look of Azeth. This is a bit more fitting.
Even if you don't celebrate, find something that makes you happy. Find something that brings you hope. If you hold on to that. The new year can bring new life to your desires. -
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