36 and still feeling like I did when I was 17.

[Markness]

I turned 36 this year but I still feel like I did when I was 17. Even when I got my driver’s license and became able to go out on my own, this still didn’t change the fact I was socially isolated because I don’t fit in with the culture I live in. Apparently I am now at the age where I can’t even feel sad about being socially isolated because it’s somehow a bad thing. I’ve even been told to stop being like a baby and got screamed at by my father for being depressed.

 

[Rodafina]

Apparently I am now at the age where I can’t even feel sad about being socially isolated because it’s somehow a bad thing.

You can’t really control what feelings arise. What you can control is what you tell yourself they mean. Sad feelings may come, but you don’t have to let them control you.

Maybe you can try to also notice feelings of hope, determination, acceptance, and gratitude.

 

[Markness]

You can’t really control what feelings arise. What you can control is what you tell yourself they mean. Sad feelings may come, but you don’t have to let them control you.

Maybe you can try to also notice feelings of hope, determination, acceptance, and gratitude.

It’s just hard for me to feel hopeful when my attempts to break out of my shell fail or I just make one mistake and the other person decides to reject me from their life even if we had become friends.

I learned that one of my younger cousins has two children. I didn’t even know he was married let alone started his own family.

 

[Xinyta]

Either we bury our dead or our dead bury us.

There has to be a point that you need to realize your mind is lying to you. Negative outlooks are a hard thing to manage when you decide to consider it the status quo of your life. You'll accept little else.

DO NOT listen to anyone who is dictating what you should do and/or how you should feel. You need to feel as you wish to feel. If others do not like it. Then that is thier problem. NOT your's.

But more importantly than that. Look to what you CAN do to change your situation. There are posts galore of suggestions from all of us to what you can do. It's just more what you wish to do that fits YOUR needs. Not other's.

Look. I'm a wreck myself. I'll gladly admit that. Though I can, because I started looking at what I can do to help my situation. Instead of looking at all the things I don't or "can't" do. The other half is will. I know I have it in spades. I wouldn't of gotten this far without it.

You should spend some time to ask yourself about what you are willing to do to get past this.

Do I have the will?

What am I capable of?

What does my better self look like in the near future?

What short term goal should I strive for?

These are questions that I have an answer for myself. But they are something you should ask yourself daily, when you are in fear, loathing, or doubt.

Though another set of questions I use, are more because of my psychosis. But they could still help in some regard.

This this thought I am having true?

What is going on in my immediate environment around me?

What are the people around me doing?

Am I in danger?

This creates a mental check that forces you to assess your environment critically. And can help you quickly discern if what you are thinking and feeling, in any given moment, is valid or irrational.

 

[Aspychata]

To me, it seems difficult to accept that you may not have a relationship for some time. l was single many years, and l feel l made poor choices when l did attempt to meet someone, yet l accept responsibility for this. Perhaps make peace with the notion of finding someone isn't possible for a lot of men. Once you relax and quit trying so hard, then you won't spend so much time fixated on this thought process. You have been having some great experiences, but they may not result in a relationship, but this is still success.

 

[Hypnalis]

@Markness

Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be.
Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present, to live better in the future.
- William Wordsworth

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.
- Jean de La Fontaine

 

[Boogs]

Regards feeling your age (mentally not physically).
I never felt my age, ever. As a kid I always found all the milestones somewhat disappointing, even disturbing.
"I'm still the same, nothing has changed at all? What was it all meant to be about, am I missing something everyone else feels?"
And even today in my 60's I feel little different than way back then. I may be more knowledgeable and experienced etc. but don't feel any different to how I always was. In the end I stopped thinking about it, especially after the last big 'childhood' milestone to aspire to - 21.
Maybe it's because I'm still as childish and immature as I was back then? If that's so, then looking at the people who do seem to feel their age and seem miserable for it, I don't feel too bad about it!

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.
- Jean de La Fontaine

But then their destiny was to avoid that particular road?

 

[Neia]

In my head I'm still 14.
When I see myself in my mind's eye, I see the skinny 14 year old girl who hated being around other people.
I still hate being around others, but I'm 40 years older now. Which means I can now say NO to people, and nobody can twist my arm to force me to do anything.
Even if they couldn't really force me before. Sometimes, being stubborn is quite useful.

 

[Markness]

I can’t pretend to be happy.