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36 and still feeling like I did when I was 17.

tree said:
Her thoughts don't control you.

It takes action to control another person.

It sounds like the action of telling you she doesn't
believe you will ever *figure it out* is enough to
make you anxious and depressed.
Click to expand...
It doesn’t help me feel better at all.
 
Many men have a hard time finding Ms Right. Because we don't really know what Ms Right will turn out to be. So l feel your mother is very harsh. She could be more compassionate in your search for a partner. Does your mother not want you to find anyone because she dosen't want you to leave her? Yup, this is a possibility l am afraid. She is afraid of losing you perhaps.
 
Aspychata said:
Many men have a hard time finding Ms Right. Because we don't really know what Ms Right will turn out to be. So l feel your mother is very harsh. She could be more compassionate in your search for a partner. Does your mother not want you to find anyone because she dosen't want you to leave her? Yup, this is a possibility l am afraid. She is afraid of losing you perhaps.
Click to expand...
She’s a control freak so she is afraid of losing me. She even told me I might have to take care of her like she does with my grandmother. I honestly dread that thought because it would guarantee that I will never have a girlfriend. I even told her that.
 
She is abusive because she needs you has her personal caretake? There are some other options, like having a caregiver come in and take care of hygiene needs. But being disrespectful and abusive to you isn't love and compassion. Sorry Markness. My mom is abusive and sshe dosen't need me as a caretaker either.
 
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Aspychata said:
She is abusive because she needs you has her personal caretake? There are some other options, like having a caregiver come in and take care of hygiene needs. But being disrespectful and abusive to you isn't love and compassion. Sorry Markness.
Click to expand...
She’s also abusive because she’s unhappy and feels that no one else can if she can’t be.
Considering how much money she makes as a doctor and even hires people regularly to do services for her, she could easily hire a caregiver for herself. She’s actually hired someone to style her eyelashes. She doesn’t need me to look after her.
 
She may expect you to handle her business affairs if she develops dementia perhaps. You are learning to stand up for yourself, and l see you letting her know your choices. My mother is extremely controlling. l just told my partner, my mother is the only person that completely drives me bonkers. It's not an easy ride with a controlling mother, and my step-dad was identical. ;)
My mom has gaslighted me. but l don't know if it's intentional or not, but it has completely ruined our relationship.
 
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