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36 and still feeling like I did when I was 17.

“How do I get out of this mess? I wanted a partner as much as other people I knew did. Most of those people are now married and have children while I can’t even get a date.”
 
First, I think you'd want to identify areas for improvement.

Then make small changes toward what you want to achieve.
 
Markness said:
I wish anxiety didn’t overwhelm me.
Click to expand...

OK.
You've identified something you'd like to change.

Examine the circumstances that produce this bad feeling.

Probably more than one thing/event precedes the feeling.
Think of what you are telling yourself about the event.

Working through this process with your therapist is advisable.
 
I thought I wasn’t going to be able to see my therapist next week due to my mother interfering with my life again. My therapist had another day available.
 
honeytoast said:
What happened that lead to her saying that? Did you ask her to hang out and do something like play video games or go out and do something together?

I hope that I'm not coming off as accusatory, I'm curious to know what happened.
Click to expand...
I just mentioned I would’ve asked her to hang out if we both got off work at the same hours and she said her boyfriend wouldn’t like that. Sadly, it’s not the first time I’ve been told that and I fear that it’s what I will always be told until my life is over.
 
tree said:
That's good the therapist had another day available.
Click to expand...
If she didn’t have another day, I would’ve had to wait until the end of the month.

My mother thinks I am wasting money on therapy but she doesn’t suggest anything better and what she has made me do before did not help.
 
Markness said:
I just mentioned I would’ve asked her to hang out if we both got off work at the same hours and she said her boyfriend wouldn’t like that. Sadly, it’s not the first time I’ve been told that and I fear that it’s what I will always be told until my life is over.
Click to expand...
There is a positive side to this.

It indicates that you were being viewed as a masculine rival,
not a sexless work buddy.
 
Markness said:
If I was viewed as the latter, would she have been mean in her reply instead?
Click to expand...

Why would being a sexless work buddy be a reason to make a mean reply?

Poorly rhetorical question.
I can't think of any reason why a neutral friend-ish co-worker asking to hang out
would prompt the person being asked to formulate a mean reply.
 
Markness said:
She looked puzzled. Her smile also faded.
Click to expand...
She wasn't anticipating you asking to hang out.

And she had just refused by saying that her bf wouldn't like for the
two of you to hang out/go for coffee, movie, walk, whatever.

Saying this wasn't fun for her.
 
tree said:
She wasn't anticipating you asking to hang out.

And she had just refused by saying that her bf wouldn't like for the
two of you to hang out/go for coffee, movie, walk, whatever.

Saying this wasn't fun for her.
Click to expand...
I felt embarrassed with myself after it happened.
 
I will be 37 this year. If things don’t change for me, I worry that means there are no solutions.
 
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