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Anyone here nervous about making new friends?

A

Amethystgirl

Active Member
I have one good friend I talk to almost daily and see about once a month. I have 2 other friends I rarely see but I do talk to both of them on the phone and the rest of my friends are online. I guess I'm not doing bad in socializing. though I'm quite nervous as hell when it's comes to making new friends. For example, if I would like to make friends at a volunteer but I don't find it easy and people in volunteer places never become my friends and they just stay acquaintances. Is it weird that I'm thinking maybe trying to make more friends is not a great idea for me? I find it so difficult because of my condition and I wonder if it's even worth trying?
 
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Yeah I tend to get nervous about meeting new people and potentially making new friends. Every time my partner has introduced me to one of his friends I go through a period of time where I'm nervous and uncertain of myself, but I tend to just play it by ear and see how things go. However I admittedly still have a hard time of actually maintaining contact with potential friends, and more often than not it's only in group activities that we tend to talk.

There's a few reasons for this nervousness I feel, one is not knowing what this new person is like so therefore not knowing how they'll react to me as they get to know who I am.. in other words, worried I might ultimately be rejected. Another is the fact that I've had a number of instances of friendships just not working out for one reason or another, so that trends to bring uncertainty as to if it'll just be another case of a lost friendship or not. Lastly there's the overhanging knowledge that I'm just not all that good at conversation and don't really know what to talk about a good chunk of the time. That's probably why I lose contact with people so much, is I just don't know what to talk about with them.. and the other is I get distracted and caught up my routines and simply forget x.x

However this is all definitely an improvement from before where I was just so nervous to make friends that I just didn't. That was mostly due to letting my rest of judgment and rejection get the better of me.. and also trauma from what happened with my first ever friend.
 
Amethystgirl said:
I have one good friend I talk to almost daily and see about once a month. I have 2 other friends I rarely see but I do talk to both of them on the phone and the rest of my friends are online. I guess I'm not doing bad in socializing. though I'm quite nervous as hell when it's comes to making new friends. For example, if I would like to make friends at a volunteer but I don't find it easy and people in volunteer places never become my friends and they just stay acquaintances. Is it weird that I'm thinking maybe trying to make more friends is not a great idea for me? I find it so difficult because of my condition and I wonder if it's even worth trying?
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Personally, there is no anxiousness or nervousness, per se. My entire day at work is walking in and out of stranger's hospital rooms and dealing with people I may have never met.

At my stage of life, I can have superficial relationships, good acquaintances, etc. I can be quite pleasant with people, laugh and cry with them, work with them, help them, etc. I literally give of myself every day, but I also know myself. I know I am not going to be visiting another's home because you will never invite me, nor will you visit my home on the extremely rare case that I invite you. I know I am not going to be texting or calling anyone. Frankly, I literally have ZERO thoughts about other people, like ever. 99% of the people I interact with on a daily basis are "objects" in my way. Get out of my way on the road. Get out of my way when walking down a street or hallway. I don't need your demands pulling me away from something I was concentrating on. I don't need your expectations of me. I don't need your approval. I don't need my ego massaged. I don't need you. Leave me be. I will stop thinking about you the second you leave my field of vision. I don't seem to have that "friend gene", whatever that is, and at no point in my life has it ever, not once, distressed me.

One, and only one exception: My wife. Ever have a family cat that has only bonded with one person, and the rest of the family can piss off? That's sort of me, in a nutshell. LOL!

Maybe I've got some serious anti-social behaviors, but at my age and stage of life, I really don't care. Frankly, unless I am discussing it here on the forums, it never enters my mind.
 
I don't worry about friends. I have no urge to add to what I have. If it happens, it happens. I don't turn away new friends, I just don't invest in MAKING new friends.

I do have anxiety with meeting new people in general. Always have. At 67, that's not likely to change.
 
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