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Dad Jokes

Did you hear about that chicken breeder that managed to breed a chicken which laid a square egg?
It talked as well, but only one word....
"OUCH!"
 
Did you hear about the disaster with the prize for the best groomed feline bum?

It was a complete cat-arse-trophy!
 
I was shocked to learn cows kill more people than sharks.
I had no idea cows killed sharks!
 
Why did the electric car feel discriminated against?

Because the rules weren’t current.
 
What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?
A visit from the ethics committee, and immediate withdrawal of your research funding.
 
What has wings but can't fly, a mouth but can't eat, and feet but can't walk?

A dead bird
 
How much money does it take to buy a guard dog?

It depends on whether the dog is on the take.
 
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