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Dating: How can I get a girlfriend?

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I understand what you are going though. There is this new woman who approached me at Church two weeks ago and we talked. She was not there last week, but she was there today. She approached me again, and she also loves cats like I do. So, I had a conversation because we liked the same thing. I of course could not ask her for a coffee after or anything like that because I feel too scared. Only if she asks me, but that has never happened yet. But you have done it though.

Also, @Markness, are you taking any kind of drugs? I am on two medications for anxiety and they do help.
 
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Tony Ramirez said:
I understand what you are going though. There is this new woman who approached me at Church two weeks ago and we talked. She was not there last week, but she was there today. She approached me again, and she also loves cats like I do. So, I had a conversation because we liked the same thing. I of course could not ask her for a coffee after or anything like that because I feel too scared. Only if she asks me, but that has never happened yet. But you have done it though.

Also, @Markness, are you taking any kind of drugs? I am on two medications for anxiety and they do help.
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I am on Prozac but it's not helping. I want to get off it but have to wait until I can see a psychiatrist again.
 
Markness said:
I am on Prozac but it's not helping. I want to get off it but have to wait until I can see a psychiatrist again.
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I need to stay on Prozac. I took myself off of it in 2019. After a few months I had bad OCD. I would keep looking up albums even ones I would never listen to see if they were complete. I also would constantly Google search if celebrities smoked or not. It would keep me up half the night.

Since I been back on Prozac I don't obsess as much or do those things anymore.

I also take seroquel which helps me socialize more and partly controls my phobia but not the mask one. I also take a blood pressure and a prevent diabetes pill.
 
tree said:
A complete review of all the medications you are taking sounds like a good idea.
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Drug therapy can be so complex. I wish I had stayed on top of it enough to consider trying more effective pharmaceuticals. Though I suppose many patients are probably complacent as I was, though it may at times work against them.

Have to agree, that complete review may be to one's advantage. One case where "the grass just might be a little greener in the next pasture".
 
I really tend to worry that more people than not don’t want me to have a girlfriend and that’s why they are hostile to me.
 
Markness said:
I really tend to worry that more people than not don’t want me to have a girlfriend and that’s why they are hostile to me.
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Maybe it's time to program yourself into ignoring and filtering out what other people think and focus only on what you think. A perspective that admittedly took me decades to figure out.
 
Judge said:
Maybe it's time to program yourself into ignoring and filtering out what other people think and focus only on what you think. A perspective that admittedly took me decades to figure out.
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I’ve been accused of being self-centered for not loving my detractors.
 
Markness said:
I’ve been accused of being self-centered for not loving my detractors.
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All that reflects is that you're still too concerned with the opinions of others.

You can be empathetic to others and still look out for number one. They aren't mutually exclusive.
 
Markness said:
What should I say to them?
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I looked up the word "detractor", it says "someone who criticizes something or someone, often unfairly". So the problem is that someone criticized you? Everyone gets criticized at some point. The important thing is how you deal with it. And you spend way too much time on these detractors. Do you like those people? I don't really understand who they are or why it's so important to you that they don't criticize you. You asked what you should say to them. Can't you tell them to just shut up or not talk to them at all maybe?
 
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Markness said:
I’ve been accused of being self-centered for not loving my detractors.
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I am very self centered at this point in my life. There is much learning and growing I have to do and in trying to understand my place in the world, I think I am currently self centered and fine with it.
 
What works for me is little jokes a lot of women like guys with a sense of humour you know you hit the jackpot when you get a bit of a smile then build on it.my dad taught me that one he always had stories and jokes.
 
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