Good morning/evening.

[kriss72]

My name is Anna, im 27 and I think I'm not on the autistic spectrum, at least this is what my therapeut told me. I do have social anxiety, general anxiety and depressive thoughts sometimes.

There are a lot of people who think they know how to diagnose, I had talks with a psychologist for many years about my daughter, when I told him I was going in for an assessment, he said he didn't see any signs in me - he was good at helping me help my daughter, but not in seeing behind my mask.

 

[Greening]

If you like theremin, you should check out Pamelia Kurstin (who also goes by other names).

 

[Tired]

@Tired Anna

Oh yes KOTOR ! I have heard of it , and always wanted to try playing it, medieval is great I am still hooked on Skyrim ,always play as a Mage , don’t even do much work on it I just conjure and let them do the work and of course I married Serana on the game so I have the most powerful helper !

Agreed about Minecraft the most mundane task becomes so meaningful when the music comes on!

Yeah I have a Moog theramin ! They are very hard to learn how to play very sensitive. Just started learning how to play it , I can’t do complicated melodies yet , but I can do large Portamentos between octave . I consider that sound my attempt at the sounds a spaceship would sound like

I did feel like a wizard conducting frequencies out of the ether while playing it

Same here I have no clue where the certain urges for nostalgia come from. Strange

Good point on Batman, he has a point being awake is sickening!And makes us more human .

You should play it but definitely have some guide on leveling up and maybe how to do some quests, because game is old and doesn't have a lot of quality of life improvements. I was getting stuck so was playing with guides.
Huh i myself always play as a sneaky archer, so i just kill things from far away and it feels good to just oneshot enemies, mmmmm.
and from what i know you cant marry serana without a mod, and she can just be your follower without being married by default. so i guess you really liked her for more than just being a follower
This happens with me i nthe game DRG, they have some music which when it kicks in it just makes the game feel different and more philosophical (and what you do is mostly mine, explore and kill enemies), here is the link with timelapse for that specific music, it both creeps me out and makes me feel good, plus it has those humming i love a lot, i even think that it's kinda sci-fi-ish

and yeah the whole game is dwarfs who mine stuff, but in space

oooo good luck with that!! hope you'll enjoy the learning process
haha people with that instrument look like wizards, so glad to know that they all feel like that

 

[Tired]

There are a lot of people who think they know how to diagnose, I had talks with a psychologist for many years about my daughter, when I told him I was going in for an assessment, he said he didn't see any signs in me - he was good at helping me help my daughter, but not in seeing behind my mask.

yeah i won't surprised to get diagnosed with ASD or smth else in the future, when psychology will evolve even more

 

[Greening]

I got two brilliant advices from two people I know, who are also on the spectrum: "It is a gift, keep it safe" and "Do what you really want". They are deceptively simple, yet so, so good.

 

[Human Avatar]

You should play it but definitely have some guide on leveling up and maybe how to do some quests, because game is old and doesn't have a lot of quality of life improvements. I was getting stuck so was playing with guides.
Huh i myself always play as a sneaky archer, so i just kill things from far away and it feels good to just oneshot enemies, mmmmm.
and from what i know you cant marry serana without a mod, and she can just be your follower without being married by default. so i guess you really liked her for more than just being a follower
This happens with me i nthe game DRG, they have some music which when it kicks in it just makes the game feel different and more philosophical (and what you do is mostly mine, explore and kill enemies), here is the link with timelapse for that specific music, it both creeps me out and makes me feel good, plus it has those humming i love a lot, i even think that it's kinda sci-fi-ish

and yeah the whole game is dwarfs who mine stuff, but in space

oooo good luck with that!! hope you'll enjoy the learning process
haha people with that instrument look like wizards, so glad to know that they all feel like that

That’s great you play as an archer! , I do the same thing on occasion of course with a conjured bow , Well I liked Serana so much as a follower , she so powerful and of course I had helped her get rid of her horrible father ,nobody else seemed interesting on the game for a wife , except Aela , so I had to make a tough decision . Marry Aela , or bend the rules and get the mod to Marry Serana , so I broke the rules and got the mod . Plus she never forced me to be a vampire she just lets me be me

DRG looks insane ! I would definitely be into that game and the music is great as well , some of it reminds me of the Terminator music

Thanks I appreciate that always trying to learn how to play different instruments. Makes me more effective at orchestration

 

[SusanLR]

Oh, was is bad for your mental and physical health to drink those tranquilizers?
Did you want to be a loner, or you just couldn't connect to other kids?

I couldn't tell they harmed me in anyway.
If the brain needs more GABA, I guess they help.
People tend to think of the benzos as an addiction.
I don't see it that way as long as you don't abuse them by taking more than needed and more than prescribed.
This is true for any prescription med.
If you have high blood pressure, is it an addiction that you need BP meds probably the rest of your life?
Medications for any physical ailment can be helpful or needed.
I know they can have harmful side effects, but risk vs help needs weighing.

I was the wanted to be a loner type. It didn't bother me.
Some of us want to connect with others and feel left out not fitting in.
Others prefer to be alone and really don't have the need for fitting in and friends.
It's the same when we grow older. Some want to make a life of their own, have a partner and even children.
Others don't develop the desire. I never did.
Is it genetics or ??? Don't really know.

 

[Tired]

That’s great you play as an archer! , I do the same thing on occasion of course with a conjured bow , Well I liked Serana so much as a follower , she so powerful and of course I had helped her get rid of her horrible father ,nobody else seemed interesting on the game for a wife , except Aela , so I had to make a tough decision . Marry Aela , or bend the rules and get the mod to Marry Serana , so I broke the rules and got the mod . Plus she never forced me to be a vampire she just lets me be me

DRG looks insane ! I would definitely be into that game and the music is great as well , some of it reminds me of the Terminator music

Thanks I appreciate that always trying to learn how to play different instruments. Makes me more effective at orchestration

You didn't like Mjoll or Lydia? I know they're generally the most popular wives in the game.
And yes, that's also something I liked in Serana, that she gives you a choice to just be you.
DRG is just fantastic, it has actually a pretty good and non-toxic community, and you can also play missions alone with your robotic ai friend, or play with up to 4 people

And the humor is very good (although not sure how good you are with understanding it, because from what I read a lot of ASD have troubles understanding humor, but they're all mostly those grumpy dwarfs who both make fun of each other but actually like each other). So yeah, big suggestion!
Now I wonder do you know about the Darktide music, one guy in comments explained it like "The electronic element of this ost mixed with intentionally dated synth sounds, creepy strings, and the usual gothic choir elements are incredible." Here is the one song with specifically all of that:

 

[Tired]

I couldn't tell they harmed me in anyway.
If the brain needs more GABA, I guess they help.
People tend to think of the benzos as an addiction.
I don't see it that way as long as you don't abuse them by taking more than needed and more than prescribed.
This is true for any prescription med.
If you have high blood pressure, is it an addiction that you need BP meds probably the rest of your life?
Medications for any physical ailment can be helpful or needed.
I know they can have harmful side effects, but risk vs help needs weighing.

I was the wanted to be a loner type. It didn't bother me.
Some of us want to connect with others and feel left out not fitting in.
Others prefer to be alone and really don't have the need for fitting in and friends.
It's the same when we grow older. Some want to make a life of their own, have a partner and even children.
Others don't develop the desire. I never did.
Is it genetics or ??? Don't really know.

I see, thanks for explaining in detail!
I don't think genetics mean much here, was actually reading a lot about this topic, and found out that there is just no one answer, it's a mix of everything: cultural setting, the level of the income in which you grew up, how much abuse you went through, your gender etc. It's just a big yarn of stuff which makes you who you are, and it's impossible to just untangle it.

 

[Human Avatar]

You didn't like Mjoll or Lydia? I know they're generally the most popular wives in the game.
And yes, that's also something I liked in Serana, that she gives you a choice to just be you.

Nope had to be with Serana!

DRG is just fantastic, it has actually a pretty good and non-toxic community, and you can also play missions alone with your robotic ai friend, or play with up to 4 people

Thanks I am really going to look into this

And the humor is very good (although not sure how good you are with understanding it, because from what I read a lot of ASD have troubles understanding humor,

I would enjoy the humor for sure. It is very interesting and as you will see the spectrum in play here on the forum as each individual is very unique just like an NT person .

Some of us are great with humor some not so much. I am very good with understanding puns and like to create them all the time . Sometimes sarcastic things , or very long intricate jokes take me along time to get, and I miss them completely sometimes

I am ASD2 at least according to the machine , We all experience Autism differently but also some experiences are similar to each ,some traits overlap with all of us , and can even overlap with lots of other neurodivergent people , ADHD , Bipolar, Schizophrenia etc.
When I am alone Autism doesn’t really mean much to me . I am usually fine. My issues are trying to decode /decipher all the thousands of body language and facial expression codes of other people.

The way I think of it is if you’re in foreign country and you don’t speak any of the language but you’re trying to get through every day trying to communicate in this foreign country without a translator or the help of technology, this creates a draining miserable experience. And in turn they can’t decode my process of communication , where I don’t need all the body language and facial expressions, I just need direct words with know hidden meaning. So they can’t read me well and I can’t read them well .
So we are 2 different computers . Both computers nonetheless but running on different programs.

My main issues are
Social cues verbal and non verbal
Sensory issues especially with my hearing and certain lights.
Those are just a few things I have to battle on a daily basis .

but they're all mostly those grumpy dwarfs who both make fun of each other but actually like each other). So yeah, big suggestion!

Perfect !

Now I wonder do you know about the Darktide music, one guy in comments explained it like "The electronic element of this ost mixed with intentionally dated synth sounds, creepy strings, and the usual gothic choir elements are incredible." Here is the one song with specifically all of that:

I don’t but I will check it out ! Thanks

 

[AuAL]

The way I think of it is if you’re in foreign country and you don’t speak any of the language but you’re trying to get through every day trying to communicate in this foreign country without a translator or the help of technology, this creates a draining miserable experience. And in turn they can’t decode my process of communication , where I don’t need all the body language and facial expressions, I just need direct words with know hidden meaning. So they can’t read me well and I can’t read them well .

I find this a very interesting viewpoint. I have been in this exact position many times, spending months working in countries where I do not speak the language and cannot read it. (It really gives you a visceral appreciation of the difficulties of the illiterate people in any country.) It prompts questions in my mind along the lines of “We can’t read them - what are they reading of us? We (sometimes) understand we can’t read them - do they ever understand they can’t read us?

 

[Human Avatar]

I find this a very interesting viewpoint. I have been in this exact position many times, spending months working in countries where I do not speak the language and cannot read it. (It really gives you a visceral appreciation of the difficulties of the illiterate people in any country.) It prompts questions in my mind along the lines of “We can’t read them - what are they reading of us? We (sometimes) understand we can’t read them - do they ever understand they can’t read us?

Very good point! I know if I am talking to another autistic person and there is no eye contact, I don’t perceive this as negative I am not really looking at their body language or their eyes anyhow .I don’t care what they are looking at , I am just listening to the words being spoken and that is all I will break apart and try to decode . So I can understand another autistic person very quickly if they are at the same level of communication and verbal skills I have . There will still miscommunication on occasion which one can see here on the forum between people. But I suspect it’s nowhere near the miscommunication levels between ND and NT people

I think for the most part NTs by default are trying to decode our lack of body language in they way they naturally are taught and learn at a very early age to read people, and taking it negatively or not understanding. Which is not entirely their fault. They don’t know any different, unless one has the knowledge to do so .

But of course there are many Doctors and scientists who have realized this difference which is why we have become a study. Some did extremely horrible things to autistic people because the their lack of knowledge.

But with the current advances I think things are looking a bit better.

 

[Kaz2012]

I read a study which says that most people count themselves and others old when they get to around 70+ years, so you're young enough to get there, no worries, I'm only afraid that they'll instead make a rereremake of skyrim named "super mega deluxe edition" instead haha
Well I'm making games which my boss tells me to make, which for 2 years were "escape the room" type of the game, and right now I'm working on a horror game. It's an indie company, so alas you won't see my name in credits for the new God of War or stuff like that
And damn that's a big gaming experience, did you count how many games you finished so far?

Happy to hear that you like it here, I now also like it here, maybe I even should start thinking about actually restricting the hours I spend here, because I like reading books, and today I read like 0 pages... which is ultra lame for me

LOL - yes I can see another skyrim edition . I like horror games too but too scared to play them at night -must play them in daytime in small doses. I have the resident evil new ones but so far too scared to play them...

But that is amazing - working on games. I am endlessly impressed and amazed by the technology and the creativity and ability of game makers.

And yes I have made a list (I love making lists ) of all the games I have and which ones I have played but started this later in life so games I owned and played many years ago (like on the old floppy discs) did not make the list. I would say I have played/completed many hundreds if not more and own thousands....

I also love reading and try to read every day.