Help Please: Possible Aspie. Very Very long, only read if you're interested in helping :)

[The Phantom]

on the topic of hairstyles....... just do what you like. think outside the box... you said you had dark hair, what if you frosted the tips or something like that?
i dont know much for curly hair.. it is pretty limiting. you could straighten it but it takes a long time and will never stay like that for too long (without making your hair look like crap anyway)

myself, i've always preferred natural over anything else. i generally don't like when girls have makeup, lipstick, eyeliner, hair colorings/foils/ect. doesn't matter what that natural look is... i almost always prefer it over anything else. and if anything, i'll only suggest minor touches to have a true natural look (not the store "natural" look) which is usually only if the person has a very pale complexion so they often look sick or at least very tired and rundown.

Good suggestions, I was thinking about something like that. Frosted tips wouldn't too great on me personally, cause light hair wouldn't go with my over hair+skin tone ], but I was thinking about maybe one or two colored streaks or something like that.... Don' worry, I don't expect you to know a ton of hairstyles for curly hair. I don't know much myself, cause like you said it's very limiting. In fact the reason I didn't dip-dye my hair in 6th grade was because it would look horrible with curly hair. But some streaks wouldn't be too bad. But I know it would look best if I had straight hair. I wanted to relax my hair, but that would probably cause permanent damage that I don't want to happen. Besides, if I end up not liking the streaks I could tuck it or hide it inside the outer layers of my hair and it wouldn't come out lol.

As for makeup, yeah, I've heard that most guys prefer the natural look anyways. Well, I'm not attracted to girls but I can see how caked-on makeup is unattractive lol. I mean, it's ok sometimes, but everyday is a bit excessive. I do imagine that when I start wearing makeup regularly (not everyday) that it would stay really natural. At the moment I only wear makeup to this Etiquette+ ballroom dance class I have, but that's it. And still I only wear some foundation (acne scarring) and some eyeliner and lipgloss (beige colored), and occasionally eye liner. You can tell I'm wearing a bit, but otherwise it's not like shiny and stuff. Hopefully people won't find that too much haha. But I think I'll only start wearing it that often in High School.

 

[The Phantom]

Again, on the hair. I too have natural ringlets and, frizz if I am not careful but, I have solved my hair problems. Actually a stylist did it for me years ago but, I think anyone with naturally curly hair that tends to frizz can benefit form what I know.

Styling products to be used after you shampoo are not the problem, the shampoo is the problem. Any shampoo that lathers contains sulfides, those strip too much of the natural oils from your hair, leaving it rough and frizzy. Use those only once every fourth or fifth time you wash your hair. Use your conditioner, or a product called a Co-Wash (conditioning wash). Wenn and Pantene Co-Wash are two brands I know. Pantene is much less expensive and, you can buy it in many stores.


It really is that simple to have soft, shiny, frizz free, curly hair that you can brush out and let air dry and, it comes out gorgeous. Give it a try, you will see the first time, it makes all the difference.

Thanks for the advice! I just showered and ditched the shampoo, I will see how it turns out!

 

[AsheSkyler]

Yeah, it would be interesting to see how those conditions might affect our appearance. If I recall correctly, Aspies generally have low levels of certain hormones ( I can't remember which) that obviously affect certain actions, but maybe possibly physical appearance? I'm not sure, but that would definitely be an interesting study.

As for the test, I do think that would be good for now (to possibly seek out a diagnosis, but nothing too big). I tried taking the RAADS-R test online but there were 3 problems. A one of the options was "True only when I was younger than 16", but I AM younger than sixteen. The other was that I in the previous step I didn't fill out some contact information, so it restarted EVERYTHING and didn't save nay of my answers.The third was that there were 80 questions, and almost all of them tedious to answer, so I didn't do it again Of course If I was required to take it, I would, but I don't at the moment. I like the Aspie Quiz better, the questions are all very interesting and taught me about some interesting things that can be considered symptoms that I never thought about, things that I have. The RAADS-R test had really similar questions (to me) that seemed repeated. Oh well, maybe when I'm not feeling so lazy. However I did take a Psych Central quiz which questions are from the RAADS test, and I scored a 34, and on that quiz 31& up is 'Autism/Aspergers Likely". I just used that to get a general idea.

I'd definitely believe some hormonal imbalances, or at the very least some chemical ones since many emotions have chemical roots.

Hrm, point about the RAADS-R, you might still be too young for it to be fully effective. I've talked with the developer and what the 16 represents is a puberty turning point. Take me, for example. A LOT of my Aspie symptoms didn't kick in until I was 14, and thus in my case, that 16 should be interpreted as 14 when I take the test. It's odd that it didn't keep your answers though, the first few times around I didn't put in my email address and it gave me my answers. I did fill out the demographic information.

Some of those questions are there for quality purposes to make sure you're paying attention, and a bit as a control measure for Aspies who take things very literally, like the critique question. Some of us may be trained enough to not give the infamous glare when a busybody starts complaining about everything we did, but on the inside we may still hate it.

Aye, the Autism Quotient test shares a lot in common with the RAADS-R. I think the max score you can get on it is 50.

 

[The Phantom]

I'd definitely believe some hormonal imbalances, or at the very least some chemical ones since many emotions have chemical roots.

Hrm, point about the RAADS-R, you might still be too young for it to be fully effective. I've talked with the developer and what the 16 represents is a puberty turning point. Take me, for example. A LOT of my Aspie symptoms didn't kick in until I was 14, and thus in my case, that 16 should be interpreted as 14 when I take the test. It's odd that it didn't keep your answers though, the first few times around I didn't put in my email address and it gave me my answers. I did fill out the demographic information.

Some of those questions are there for quality purposes to make sure you're paying attention, and a bit as a control measure for Aspies who take things very literally, like the critique question. Some of us may be trained enough to not give the infamous glare when a busybody starts complaining about everything we did, but on the inside we may still hate it.

Aye, the Autism Quotient test shares a lot in common with the RAADS-R. I think the max score you can get on it is 50.

Thanks for the info! For me, around 12-ish (think about 6th grade) was a turning point for me. Maybe it was middle school, I don't know. But I definitely started to act a lot shyer in public and lose confidence around that age. But 13 definitely was the most important age for realization-wise.
This might sound kinda TMI (lol), but I started puberty very early in life, so maybe that's why I had an 'Epiphany' so early. A lot of my symptoms are life long, but most just intensified or made themselves more known around middle school.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Thanks for the info! For me, around 12-ish (think about 6th grade) was a turning point for me. Maybe it was middle school, I don't know. But I definitely started to act a lot shyer in public and lose confidence around that age. But 13 definitely was the most important age for realization-wise.
This might sound kinda TMI (lol), but I started puberty very early in life, so maybe that's why I had an 'Epiphany' so early. A lot of my symptoms are life long, but most just intensified or made themselves more known around middle school.

I always thought 12 was the starting point for most people except for the rare cases who began at 9 or 14. Er, women anyway. Guys don't really start kicking in until 14, it seems.

 

[The Phantom]

I always thought 12 was the starting point for most people except for the rare cases who began at 9 or 14. Er, women anyway. Guys don't really start kicking in until 14, it seems.

I think so too, especially since girls start to grow faster and will be generally be more mature, so the more 'immature' aspects of Aspergers will start to show, instead of blend in because before those behaviors would be considered typical to the age group (at least, that's my theory). Like, I have a classmate who I have some suspicions about (She is very obviously different from the rest. I'm not trying to assume, though, but I have my reasons) and before she seemed a bit normal, though still a bit quirky (this was about 4th and 5th grade, though more 4th grade) but in middle school she started to be completely different from the rest. So, I think your theory about 12 being a starting point is likely. As for boys, I think it would show later for the same reasons as I said before, because boy generally mature slower and can get away with certain behaviors for a while until it's considered 'abnormal'.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I think so too, especially since girls start to grow faster and will be generally be more mature, so the more 'immature' aspects of Aspergers will start to show, instead of blend in because before those behaviors would be considered typical to the age group (at least, that's my theory). Like, I have a classmate who I have some suspicions about (She is very obviously different from the rest. I'm not trying to assume, though, but I have my reasons) and before she seemed a bit normal, though still a bit quirky (this was about 4th and 5th grade, though more 4th grade) but in middle school she started to be completely different from the rest. So, I think your theory about 12 being a starting point is likely. As for boys, I think it would show later for the same reasons as I said before, because boy generally mature slower and can get away with certain behaviors for a while until it's considered 'abnormal'.

Aye, I think so too.

The funny thing is, one reason why girls blend in so well for so long and aren't noticed as having autism is that to some degree it's always acceptable that she enjoy dolls and fantasy, as if it encourages her to be a nurturing mother in the future. Other girls are also more likely to take each other under wing and teach them how to put on makeup, flirt, and other stuff. Boys, on the other hand, are prone to pick on each other, so their oddities are more like to show and are noticed more often.

 

[The Phantom]

Aye, I think so too.

The funny thing is, one reason why girls blend in so well for so long and aren't noticed as having autism is that to some degree it's always acceptable that she enjoy dolls and fantasy, as if it encourages her to be a nurturing mother in the future. Other girls are also more likely to take each other under wing and teach them how to put on makeup, flirt, and other stuff. Boys, on the other hand, are prone to pick on each other, so their oddities are more like to show and are noticed more often.

Agreed. Especially the whole fantasy part. It's completely normal for girls to have the whole princess or movie star fantasy, and for a few years boys too. But after a while for boys, any strong interests like superheroes, knights, and the sort become plain nerdy after a while, and a lot quicker than it would for girls. Same while the whole nurturing thing. Girls are generally considered to be a lot more caring in that sense, with what you mentioned (teaching each other girly things), going to the bathroom in groups (haha but it's usually true), and especially they are more physically affectionate. They hold hands, hug, and the like. But for boys, it's unfortunately considered 'gay' for them to do so, so any overly affectionate boys on the spectrum will get outed.. The boys in my school (usually G5- middle school) do all those affectionate things, but only in a joking manner. Although something tells me the 'joke' part is just a cover-up Nothing wrong with that

 

[s3_gunzel]

Other girls are also more likely to take each other under wing and teach them how to put on makeup, flirt, and other stuff. Boys, on the other hand, are prone to pick on each other...

And therein lies the problem with society

 

[Gary Reese]

The important thing is you know your not nutz. Your just a little different. Yes, expect issues to come up. Take lots of time dealing with them. As for the gender thing, be true to yourself...... always. The spelling thing? Look up dyslexia. I have it too.

I'm 68 now. When i was 14 I was told I was one in 4,000,000 for cognitive abilities. Now tell me about feeling isolated. LOL Maybe that's why I feel at home here.