How To Stop Wanting Relationships

[Steelbookcollector217]

There are a couple or more reasons that come to mind that may support this.
Obviously, this does happen, but I don't believe to the extent that it happens for males.

Simply my opinion.

probably the main reason is because of how human mating or how men and women have always interacted with one another, even though i don't know if there is any evidence on how that it has been for the past 300,000 years or more.

 

[Misty Avich]

It might be of the following reasons:-

1. A lot of Aspie women seem less stereotypical in their body language and interests, and the way they interact might suggest quirkiness, which a lot of men find attractive in women

2. Many women (both NT or ND) can be more shallow than men, meaning we often play hard to get, not just for men wanting relationships with us but also for other women wanting to be friends with each other. I think this explains why my friendship circle consists of more men than women

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

It might be of the following reasons:-

1. A lot of Aspie women seem less stereotypical in their body language and interests, and the way they interact might suggest quirkiness, which a lot of men find attractive in women

2. Many women (both NT or ND) can be more shallow than men, meaning we often play hard to get, not just for men wanting relationships with us but also for other women wanting to be friends with each other. I think this explains why my friendship circle consists of more men than women

or because which i have been a broken record on, men always being expected to make the first move all the time and ask the woman out, initiate the relationship.

 

[Misty Avich]

or because which i have been a broken record on, men always being expected to make the first move all the time and ask the woman out, initiate the relationship.

Or that maybe. But what is the rule with gay women?

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

i know i have said this before, and i know its a bad mindset, but over the years, i sometimes like to think, that women are the only gender that are owed a relationship, even though its the standard mentality by everyone that the world owes us nothing, it just feels like women are the only gender that are owed a relationship, since women are less likely than men are to reach a certain age and never have dated or been with anyone before, and how women have men come to them, but men normally never have women come to them.

 

[Rodafina]

i know its a bad mindset,

You are right that it's a bad mindset. It doesn't help you whatsoever.

If you know it's a bad mindset, what are you going to do to change that?

Therapy?
Support group?

How does continually sharing this feeling help you?

 

[tree]

i know i have said this before, and i know its a bad mindset, but over the years, i sometimes like to think, that women are the only gender that are owed a relationship, even though its the standard mentality by everyone that the world owes us nothing, it just feels like women are the only gender that are owed a relationship, since women are less likely than men are to reach a certain age and never have dated or been with anyone before, and how women have men come to them, but men normally never have women come to them.

Are you currently seeing a therapist on a regular basis?

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

Are you currently seeing a therapist on a regular basis?

i see one a few times a year, but i don't see the point, because even if i do go see therapists regularly, its a fact that far more men than women end up remaining forever alone, chronically single, later than normal. Thats a fact that reality that won't change, and i get very pissed off as to why guys, men, should feel lucky to be born a man, i will never understand that.

 

[Au Naturel]

i see one a few times a year, but i don't see the point, because even if i do go see therapists regularly, its a fact that far more men than women end up remaining forever alone, chronically single, later than normal. Thats a fact that reality that won't change, and i get very pissed off as to why guys, men, should feel lucky to be born a man, i will never understand that.

That is statistically impossible. Men and women are about equal in number. Each single guy corresponds to a single woman. The big difference is that women are more willing to stay single if they can't find their ideal partner, and many women have taken themselves out of the marriage market as a career move.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

That is statistically impossible. Men and women are about equal in number. Each single guy corresponds to a single woman. The big difference is that women are more willing to stay single if they can't find their ideal partner, and many women have taken themselves out of the marriage market as a career move.

yeah, i'm open to the possibility that women also just don't bother to disclose their case or situation as much as men do, for example, guys like Tony.

 

[Zain]

That is statistically impossible. Men and women are about equal in number. Each single guy corresponds to a single woman. The big difference is that women are more willing to stay single if they can't find their ideal partner, and many women have taken themselves out of the marriage market as a career move.

You have to divide men and women by age and account for the fact that younger women would prefer older men since they're more likely to be established. There are way more younger men than women.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

For me, relationships represent money that isn't available for makeup, clothes to look presentable. Hair styling products can be expensive also. So financially, it dosen't seem like a good choice. l prefer to put my discretionary cash in the stock market or repairing my home. Maybe if you can break it down into expenses needed, going out for dates, gas needed, you can see why so many women can find it hard to date also. My partner takes me out to eat all the time, this does add up, but we both enjoy trying different places.

My wife does not like opening a can of beans is good enough for me for some thing to eat. I do not like fashionable clothes, do not like going out for dinner unless it is with a friend.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

You have to divide men and women by age and account for the fact that younger women would prefer older men since they're more likely to be established. There are way more younger men than women.

yeah, my gut instinct tells me, i would believe for all time, its more common for men than for women to reach a certain age, for example, 30s, 40s, or older, and to have never dated, never been in a relationship before, to be male-dominated cases.

 

[FayetheAspie]

That is statistically impossible. Men and women are about equal in number. Each single guy corresponds to a single woman. The big difference is that women are more willing to stay single if they can't find their ideal partner, and many women have taken themselves out of the marriage market as a career move.

Thank you for bringing some logic to the thread. Also, just because most women get asked out at some point don't mean going out would be a good idea. If a guy is always mocking me openly at work, trying to intimidate me, and a few of them even going so far as threatening me I don't think I'm the one with a problem for turning them down when the very same men decide to ask me on a date. This has been my experience for the most part.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Woman change their attitude towards who they want a relationship with as they see their biological clock running down for starting a family, for millennial ladies this is getting quite serious. I see this with my daughter in law.

 

[FayetheAspie]

Woman change their attitude towards who they want a relationship with as they see their biological clock running down for starting a family, for millennial ladies this is getting quite serious. I see this with my daughter in law.

Yeah well as long as gangsters and drug pushers that sit around bragging to each other about throwing their former girl friend across a room are my options, I'll keep turning them all down, thank you. I don't care to deal with that crap especially after growing up with a dad that would leave bruises on my Mama if little toddler aspergers/adhd me didn't sit perfectly still for the duration of a ball game, would bust out laughing about the idea of " rubbing my face in the cat litter pail,"and such things, threw a saw my direction but thank God it did not hit me, ect. Sometimes we have reasons to distrust men you know. I thought in the autism community, I would meet the kind of shy, cutely awkward ,but sweet guys that I tend to like in fiction sources but finally in real life, however it seems as though all the dating threads on autism sites are filled with messages about how horrible women are. I am really starting to feel as though I need to give up even considering ever being in a romantic relationship at all ever. That said I do enjoy having people to chatter at about science, animals, ect. by being on this forum. That is a lot more positive human interaction than I am used to having previously.

 

[Judge]

Yeah well as long as gangsters and drug pushers that sit around bragging to each other about throwing their former girl friend across a room are my options, I'll keep turning them all down, thank you. I don't care to deal with that crap especially after growing up with a dad that would leave bruises on my Mama if little toddler aspergers/adhd me didn't sit perfectly still for the duration of a ball game, would bust out laughing about the idea of " rubbing my face in the cat litter pail,"and such things, threw a saw my direction but thank God it did not hit me, ect. Sometimes we have reasons to distrust men you know. I thought in the autism community, I would meet the kind of shy, cutely awkward ,but sweet guys that I tend to like in fiction sources but finally in real life, however it seems as though all the dating threads on autism sites are filled with messages about how horrible women are. I am really starting to feel as though I need to give up even considering ever being in a romantic relationship at all ever. That said I do enjoy having people to chatter at about science, animals, ect. by being on this forum. That is a lot more positive human interaction than I am used to having previously.

In this day and age your sentiments are quite understandable. But I find it tragic to think of anyone who would simply give up based on distorted accounts of romance and relationships based on cable news, fiction and media both offline and online in general. Otherwise you will continue to be inundated with impressions that may have little or nothing to do with you personally, or the partner you might find that appeals to you.

Instead of allowing media to make such a judgment, keep your head and heart open. That person you seek might be out there, without all the garbage media wants to bury them in. To wait until you've actually experienced a relationship firsthand before making any sweeping decisions.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'm happy my youngest son got through college, got unto a relationship, has a daughter I planned out getting him through high school and college, He found a clever way to get into a relationship. Got exactly what he was looking for. Either way its all about planning.

 

[FayetheAspie]

In this day and age your sentiments are quite understandable. But I find it tragic to think of anyone who would simply give up based on distorted accounts of romance and relationships based on cable news, fiction and media both offline and online in general. Otherwise you will continue to be inundated with impressions that may have little or nothing to do with you personally, or the partner you might find that appeals to you.

Instead of allowing media to make such a judgment, keep your head and heart open. That person you seek might be out there, without all the garbage media wants to bury them in. To wait until you've actually experienced a relationship firsthand before making any sweeping decisions.

A lot of the people I worked around at the retail job were gang members or if not they liked to claim that they were so I was referring to lived experience of hearing such conversations and being asked out by such people. My Mama's dad used to threaten his family with weapons. My brother has bragged to me on the phone before about making his daughter cry. My own dad does cruel things then acts like you're hurting him if you confront him or even act scared, angry , or sad when he is no longer in the mood for you to be. A favorite of his when I was a child seemed to be making my Mama and/or me cry then demanding a hug. After the hug everything was supposed to be ok between him and us.

 

[Judge]

A lot of the people I worked around at the retail job were gang members or if not they liked to claim that they were so I was referring to lived experience of hearing such conversations and being asked out by such people. My Mama's dad used to threaten his family with weapons. My brother has bragged to me on the phone before about making his daughter cry. My own dad does cruel things then acts like you're hurting him if you confront him or even act scared, angry , or sad when he is no longer in the mood for you to be. A favorite of his when I was a child seemed to be making my Mama and/or me cry then demanding a hug. After the hug everything was supposed to be ok between him and us.

That's very sad. I can't think of a more distorted perspective of relationships and romance from the influence of such people. That's them, but it doesn't have to be you.