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I am yet again trying another new church on Sunday.

Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

Single. My odds of a platonic female friend is 0%.
V.I.P Member
This is going to be my 4th new church if you count all the way back. I really thought my 3rd church was the one. I thought they were my people since we had similar interest but I guess age is a number because young people especially women are snobs to put it nicely and they will backstab, ostracized you if they see you different and weird, christian or otherwise. I had better love from the 30 something gen y millenniums from my old then these gen zeros. The few gen y from the new church all married are the only ones that actually now speak to me and care.

So now I am trying this new church which looking at their Instagram is ethical and diversity. Also looks more friendly. It's the church I wanted to go to originally that was open during when lockdown started to end but due to the pandemic and face masks I could not handle it then.
 
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One I am trying this Sunday. The one I wanted to go to during the pandemic.

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The disaster I am currently for only a month already ostracized shunned at by single/attractive women.

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The church I been going for 5 years. The one I made the most trustworthy friends. Was also betrayed by Justin. Also bought Madison here which ended up as an textationship.

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Once you land a wife (and the availability of women* is no longer an issue), what are your expectations for a healthy church?

*Only one has to be available...
 
Crossbreed said:
Once you land a wife (and the availability of women* is no longer an issue), what are your expectations for a healthy church?

*Only one has to be available...
Click to expand...
Don't start. I knew this is the response I would get. This last church made me feel like I was in college. COLLEGE okay so have some damn respect for my feelings. Especially the park event.

I rather go back to the school church and I did last Sunday just because I felt more welcomed there age wise and greeted by women wise. I know damn well there past former church TGC park event would have been much more welcoming and less snobbish.
 
Tony, I respectfully suggest that if your primary factor in choosing a church is single women, then you not go.

Here's the rationale. Even if a church does contain single women, these women are much more likely to date someone else who actually holds to the core values underlying that church.

You found welcome in a church because it is a core commandment of the religion to be open and welcoming to others. But if you have no intention to actually believe anything that the church is about, then I think the gentle way to frame this is - you will not succeed in finding "platonic female friends" within that church.

I would suggest going to the community center and looking at what's available as far as secular options. It is not only respectful to the church, you will increase your odds as well.
 
You can blame the churches and the people. But having read your posts and updates over the past few years, it's clear that one thing remains the same - your mindset.

Whilst going to yoga and social events is a positive step, I think the real work needs to come from within. I'd recommend looking up Tim Fletcher on Youtube. He's hundreds of hours of videos, all about healing trauma and personal growth and development. He's also Christian, but tends to keep that aspect separate to most of his videos.

Anyway, it's worth a try. Honestly though, as I've mentioned before; the anxiety and depression really doesn't get fixed if you're in a relationship with another person. Truth be told, once the honeymoon period is over, it often makes your worries double. I've dated with unresolved trauma for 18 years on and off. Hasn't fixed anything for me. Tim's videos show how entering relationships with so many unresolved issues will lead to unhealthy relationships which often serve to traumatise and damage us further.

Although I understand it's been a focus of yours for a long time to date for the first time, so I can see why there'd be the sincere belief it could, or should help or fix your issues. But you will still be the same person, with the same struggles, worries and mindset. Dating someone and having an intimate relationship isn't going to be a panacea for all your issues, and if you really think that, and lay all that expectation on another person - that's unrealistic, and unfair on that person to carry such a responsibility/burden.

Ed
 
What a waste of time posting this, I was hoping for support. Not another let's pick on Tony wanting a platonic female girlfriend wife the only reason for changing church selfish rant again. You don't realize what these women put me through buy doing or saying nothing too me but I guess you never experience that in college. How would you like to gain over 150 pounds after because of it then put on bipolar meds for decades when I am not bipolar that does the opposite that caused violent outbursts that caused actually property damage. Suffer major PTSD nightmares. Damaged body mental and physical that is irreversible. I am only lost 90 pounds in a year now. Now that crap is coming back.
 
My opinion is that I would be wary of opening up traumatic wounds from single women and medication mistakes, without being looked after by someone. The stakes are too high with Tony's turbulent emotional states. Better to leave the scabs be until his mother can organise therapy..
 
Tony, you're in New York City, one of the largest and most diverse cities in the world. Why aren't you going to autism meetups? Forget about finding single women at church. Find them at autism meetups and within the local autism community.

And stop looking at porn. It's corrupting your attitude and understanding of REAL women.
 
So you're switching churches again because you are not getting random single women coming up and talking to you? And that is making you upset while you have other people trying to get you involved and join in, but just because they're a guy/married it doesn't count?

Yeah, I agree with Raggamuffin. You need to work on yourself before trying to seek out a relationship.
 
I thought this church would be my peeps with the same interest as me. They literally liked the same things as me but in the end they showed their true colors and don't like my kind except for the one girl like me they accepted in her flock.

I should have stayed at Trinity Grace Church then transitioned to Park Slope Community gradually and never went to Roots or game night and been traumatized by guys girls hanging out there platonic friends or couples.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Not another let's pick on Tony wanting a platonic female girlfriend wife the only reason for changing church selfish rant again.
Click to expand...

I am not trying to pick on you. I am trying to support you and prevent further disappointment. You are not using churches for their intended purpose, thus, you are not likely to find any single females willing to date you at churches. Single women in church generally have strict standards as to who they date.
 
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