I don't want to live any more

[Tired]

Agreed.

If the ground unit has a concrete floor with carpeting, there would be minimal to no noise as a result of kids jumping around, etc.

walls can be very thin. i can hear my neighbors talking sometimes, and i'm sure they can hear me doing another type of sounds here

 

[Jonn]

walls can be very thin. i can hear my neighbors talking sometimes, and i'm sure they can hear me doing another type of sounds here

I believe the upstairs neighbours are the problem for Misty.
I think she said the same level neighbours wouldn't be.

I am assuming it is a two level complex (ground floor and first floor).
If there are more levels, the problem might be the same if they swap apartments.
No guarantees.

If the swap mean she and her husband are on the top floor, it would probably work out better sound-wise, but it may mean difficulties with daily stair usage.

 

[Tired]

I believe the upstairs neighbours are the problem for Misty.
I think she said the same level neighbours wouldn't be.

I am assuming it is a two level complex (ground floor and first floor).
If there are more levels, the problem might be the same if they swap apartments.
No guarantees.

If the swap mean she and her husband are on the top floor, it would probably work out better sound-wise, but it may mean difficulties with daily stair usage.

I understand that they're on top of her, I'm also saying about my top neighbors.

 

[Misty Avich]

The walls in our apartment happen to be super thick, and we never seem to hear the people next door. But for some reason our ceiling is very hollow and so vibrations from their movement up there easily travels down and disturbs us. And this isn't just sometimes (I can put up with a bit of noise sometimes) this is all day and all night. I think they are very loud people, as when I've been outside before I could hear their booming voices, not shouting at each other but shouting to each other. Usually both the kids are screaming up there so the parents are probably just used to having to shout over their miserable kid's constant screaming all the time. Sometimes I think taking the eldest to a park for him to run around and play out in the fresh air might do them a world of good, but all that normal family life stuff seems beneath them.

 

[BryceMcBryde]

I’ve had suicidal thoughts a few times in my life. My most recent attempt was 3 years ago. It was the lowest I’ve ever been, but it kinda serves as a reminded that even with all that’s happened. I’ve still kept pushing along. Your husband seems like a nice man, and i’m sure he loves you enough to stay by you

 

[Misty Avich]

I’ve had suicidal thoughts a few times in my life. My most recent attempt was 3 years ago. It was the lowest I’ve ever been, but it kinda serves as a reminded that even with all that’s happened. I’ve still kept pushing along. Your husband seems like a nice man, and i’m sure he loves you enough to stay by you

Oh yes, he does. I've stuck by him through problems such as when he lost his job and when he was ill with COPD flare-ups (before he went on medication for it). In fact if it wasn't for me I don't think he'd be alive now. So he's happy to stick by me during my anxious times, although these sorts of issues do typically cause arguments in a relationship. But we get over ourselves rather quickly and we don't often argue.
What I don't have is communication problems, which is an advantage for me and often makes me doubt I'm on the spectrum - but if I can't deal with change at work very well and I'm noise-sensitive to my neighbours then I must be somewhere on the spectrum I guess.

 

[Misty Avich]

I just wish there wasn't a trillion and one people in England, then maybe I'll be given another apartment much quicker.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

That's what I wanted to do but my husband just says that we'll still hear them. Yes, we will, but I know I can tolerate sounds from below better than sounds from above. You can hear everything from above, even when they just walk across the room it sounds like elephants, where as below at least I won't hear that type of sound. And me and my husband are dead quiet, as we're rather lazy, so we definitely make much noise for them at all. When I can't sleep at night I just put audiobooks or music on my headphones and colour in pictures or write stories. I don't pace around the apartment like they always do.

Couldn't you elaborate this to your husband, then? You didn't mention whether your upstairs neighbors or your landlord might agree or disagree to a flat swap. If they do, maybe that would really be a good solution to this situation?

I can't even imagine the strain it causes when your own apartment isn't a place you can retreat to, but instead is a place of constant noise, stress, and sensory overload. I also completely understand that you don't want to wear NC headphones and earplugs within your own home all the time. I wear headphones often at home, but I do so voluntarily, not because I would be in constant overload if I didn't.

 

[Misty Avich]

Couldn't you elaborate this to your husband, then? You didn't mention whether your upstairs neighbors or your landlord might agree or disagree to a flat swap. If they do, maybe that would really be a good solution to this situation?

It is the only solution at this rate. I have elaborated this to my husband but he hasn't really had much of an answer. He gets more disturbed by their loud talking and the babies screaming, but I don't seem to hear that. All I can hear is the thumping and banging whenever I'm brave enough to take my headphones off or earplugs out for 2 seconds. Yep, that's how bad it really is. No matter what room you're in there'll always be someone above making such horrible unpredictable yet consistent banging noises, sometimes sounds like tapdancing but it obviously isn't.

I can't even imagine the strain it causes when your own apartment isn't a place you can retreat to, but instead is a place of constant noise, stress, and sensory overload. I also completely understand that you don't want to wear NC headphones and earplugs within your own home all the time. I wear headphones often at home, but I do so voluntarily, not because I would be in constant overload if I didn't.

Thanks, it makes it so much easier when people understand. I don't mind sometimes wearing earplugs or headphones, but when you have to do it all the time you're home your life becomes restricted. Somehow it makes my executive dysfunction worse, because all I want to do is sit in the bedroom with my ears blocked and do nothing but sleep to escape from my anxiety and depression.

For me it's more of a misophonia thing. I have misophonia when it comes to people moving around in the room above. Makes me want to punch them.
I remember years ago when I still lived at home, my bedroom was in the spare room downstairs and my mum's bedroom was directly above, and one day she was having her bedroom decorated. The banging and thumping up there was so unbearable that I had to go out for the day. Yet when we got our kitchen decorated and modernised, I could tolerate the noise much better because the kitchen was right next door to my room. So really, it makes a big difference with how sound travels.

Like you said, if I can't relax and enjoy my own home then life really is not worth living and the only solution is to move. But because the council make it so hard because of the other trillion people they have to put first, it just amplifies my stress, which turns to anger, and when I'm angry about things beyond my control I start becoming resentful of society and it just has a knock-on effect on how I feel and then I can become irrational, like hating the family living above even though it's not entirely their fault.

It seems the landlords house families in these apartments these days, when originally these apartments were actually built exclusively for childless people or couples with shift work, which is why they're cheaply put together and aren't really family-friendly unless they're on the ground floor. But the landlords have become greedy and don't care who they house as long as they pay rent.

 

[Jonn]

But the landlords have become greedy and don't care who they house as long as they pay rent.

Renters have enormous power over here in Australia, and it looks like they will be getting even more, in the near future.
Perhaps you, your husband, and your rats should move here?

 

[Misty Avich]

Renters have enormous power over here in Australia, and it looks like they will be getting even more, in the near future.
Perhaps you, your husband, and your rats should move here?

Australia sounds so much fairer. But I couldn't face the long plane rides. Why are planets so big?

 

[Misty Avich]

My husband is going to inquire about me taking his place at his workplace when he retires at the end of this year. It's cleaning at the local college. He says it's easy and they just leave you alone to get on with it but you also get to work with another cleaner so that you're not alone, which I'd like.

Only thing is, does norovirus go around at colleges? It's a place for young adults, not children or elderly people. Hopefully at that age the students on campus would know to keep their germs to themselves and won't just be sick all over the floor.
I don't mind cleaning up alcohol-induced vomit though, as it's no different to cleaning up pee, meaning it is not an airborne virus.

I do feel quite sad making this decision though, because I was so willing to get the job at the bus garage and was thrilled when I actually got offered it nearly 7 years ago. And I loved it up until now. I mean, the money isn't bad for a cleaning job, and I love all the people I work with. But I think if it's changing in ways that I don't like and I have a good chance of being offered a job elsewhere then I think I would be stupid not to snatch it up before it's too late. I mean, getting weekends, bank holidays and Christmases off for £1.50 less than what I'm getting now, I think is a fair deal.

And then I'd be more relaxed enough to look for a job that involves rats, either down in the sewers or in a pet store.

 

[Jonn]

Australia sounds so much fairer. But I couldn't face the long plane rides. Why are planets so big?

"It's a one way trip, baby."

Once you have been to Australia, you'll never go back.

Spoiler

What was that?
Ten pound poms?

Why did Australia do 10 pound poms?

The phrase 'Ten Pound Poms' is used to describe the Britons who emigrated to Australia following World War 2 on the Australian government's assisted passage scheme. The purpose of this scheme was to enlarge Australia's population whilst supplying workers for the country's growing economy and industry.

Ten pound poms - Google Suche

 

[Misty Avich]

Wait, no, there are massive spiders in Australia. I have arachnophobia.

 

[Jonn]

Wait, no, there are massive spiders in Australia. I have arachnophobia.

Don't forget the snakes.
They are EVERYWHERE!
A bit of a nightmare if you have furry kids and like scrub walking. <sigh>

The problem is in the breeding season when snakes become aggressive.
Usually, they try to "run" away.
Someone should remind them they have no legs.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't mind snakes if they're not poisonous. If they are poisonous then I'll be cool with them if they don't intend on killing me or anything.

 

[Jonn]

There are mostly black snakes around here, I think.
They aren't very aggressive.
We may have some brown snakes, also, and they are a more serious danger.
I am not sure we have tiger snakes around here.
I hope not.
They are pretty poisonous.

I should know these things, but despite snakes being common, here, with signs warning ppl, I haven't met many in my life.

Plenty of tiger snakes in Tasmania.
I almost walked into one that was "standing" a meter tall in the track.
I had to be pulled back by my GF, or I would have walked into it.
It was at crotch height, btw.
Stupidly, we went in the breeding season. lol

 

[Misty Avich]

In the UK we don't really have any dangerous animals lurking around that require warning signs to the public. In the woods we have deers and foxes and badgers, which are more or less harmless.
I think the worst we have is, dare I say it, rats. There are rats everywhere here, although they're clever enough to hide and not fall for the inhumane traps people put out. That's why they're a problem, because they're too clever.

Maybe they will take over humankind one day. They have the same social intelligence we do, except they can't verbalise language of course.

 

[Rachie]

Have you ever considered talking to Citizen's Advice? I was close to completing my volunterring with them in 2019 before things turned all over with COVID. They can offer advice on certain issues and even in some cases back then discussed drafting letters of support.
I would say as well the alternative to council housing the name escapes me now, wait housing association this is meant to be easier to obtain than council housing. I know someone who went through with it.
I am sorry you are dealing with this, Some organisations do Food Banks and give out things freely like food. I would try and hang on, if you haven't got help can you see a GP or call someone to talk about what is going on.
Food delivery is booming. Work in a supermarket at darker hours could be may be explored as well. I saw you was looking for a new job as well in another section and don't know if you have ever conisdered these. You don't need to discuss this here at all.

 

[Misty Avich]

I wouldn't mind doing night work in a supermarket. In the UK supermarkets are no longer open 24 hours a day (at least where I live) so I think night workers get to fill the shelves in peace without customers getting in their way. The only thing is if I worked at a night worker in a supermarket I wouldn't want to feel pressured to work in busy times over the Christmas holidays. I don't get how workers manage to do their jobs properly when there's like a thousand customers in the store all at once, filling up their carts like they're feeding the 5 thousand.

I have tried citizens advice online but I had to select an option of what my problem was, and "living below noisy neighbours but being unable to do anything about the noise because it's a family so we just want to move" did not seem to be an option there. So I couldn't go any further.

I'd rather see a citizens advice person face-to-face rather than online, because I need to discuss things in depth to a real life human who knows what they're doing.