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I gained 20 pounds

He works his ass off as an electrician and I am in no way trashing his reputation. He's a good man. I just needed a venting outlet. It's not like I'm a perfect person either.
 
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I saw a video by another fellow with Asperger's in my subscription list on YouTube related to this topic. It might be able to help you.

 
Southern Discomfort said:
I saw a video by another fellow with Asperger's in my subscription list on YouTube related to this topic. It might be able to help you.

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Southern Discomfort See, you are useful and so is that video you shared. Thank you. I know being healthy and at your best is the optimum choice. But, I wish I was pretty enough to be considered a hot chic. I will never be a hot chic. I am short with a long face and stubby legs and have cellulite since I gave birth to a daughter.
 
Catlover614 said:
Southern Discomfort See, you are useful and so is that video you shared. Thank you. I know being healthy and at your best is the optimum choice. But, I wish I was pretty enough to be considered a hot chic. I will never be a hot chic. I am short with a long face and stubby legs and have cellulite since I gave birth to a daughter.
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Thank you.

From what I can see of your profile picture you're not as bad as you say. I used to dislike my nose but I've learnt to love my imperfections, it's what makes me who I am. It's not like I can really change it. If you can't change how you look, try to come to terms with yourself.
 
Another "They say", no pain no gain,right? Just finished workout, calves are burning and only ate 1/2 peanut butter sandwich on whole grain bread and water. I feel physical as well as emotional pain and what am I to gain? Confidence and my ideal weight. Those are good things, but I still can't get over the feeling that I'm missing something.
 
The best way to handle our health/weight is to find a routine which works for us without a lot of effort. I used to eat according to the low fat advice and I would have my "healthy" salad with no fat dressing, pasta with low fat sauce, and two hours later I was hungry enough to rip the fridge door off its hinges. And eat it.

Then I did Atkins and lost 80 pounds without being hungry once. And kept them off. At last, I have a way of eating that I like!
 
WereBear said:
The best way to handle our health/weight is to find a routine which works for us without a lot of effort. I used to eat according to the low fat advice and I would have my "healthy" salad with no fat dressing, pasta with low fat sauce, and two hours later I was hungry enough to rip the fridge door off its hinges. And eat it.

Then I did Atkins and lost 80 pounds without being hungry once. And kept them off. At last, I have a way of eating that I like!
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I'm not going to worry myself with beyond strict no carb, no sweetener, no gluten, no starch and such. I eat in appropriate moderation. But, I exercise my butt off by dancing to 4 upbeat songs, then I have a cool down session with 2 slow paced songs. I do this twice a day Monday thru Friday. Plus, my dog walks and housekeeping. Add on 15 minutes of weight lifting 3x week. I'm going to lose these 20 pounds pretty quick. Lol, I ate an ice cream cone while dancing to, "God bless Texas".:D
 
I can't believe that it's OK for one's significant other to lay down the law about how you should look! All these well meaning tips about how to knuckle under to his demands amaze me! Does he look perfect? If he loves you, he should love you throughout what ever is stressing you out, not demand you look perfect while undergoing stress. Unbelievable. Sorry if I sound harsh, but that seems very unfair of him.
 
garnetflower13 said:
I can't believe that it's OK for one's significant other to lay down the law about how you should look! All these well meaning tips about how to knuckle under to his demands amaze me! Does he look perfect? If he loves you, he should love you throughout what ever is stressing you out, not demand you look perfect while undergoing stress. Unbelievable. Sorry if I sound harsh, but that seems very unfair of him.
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Thank you. I was hoping someone would take my side. And, No, he's not perfect either (bald spot, toothpick-thin). He says he loves me, but it sure doesn't feel that way. I'm in a vulnerable position at this phase of my life and he uses that to his advantage. He knows I got noone else.
 
tree said:
Catlover614

I felt bad way back in this thread when you said
"at least..." referring to him/his behavior.
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tree I appreciate the sentiment and sorry that I didn't notice your reply (computer iliterate). I make excuses for him because deep down, he is truly a good man (works hard, never complains about my cooking or cleaning,etc.). However, he demands I maintain a flat stomach and keep shaven. I'm suffering with depression, PTSD, and Aspergers at mid-function level and he's very insensitive about that, telling me to, "suck it up". He also knows I got nowhere else to go so he uses that too. I'm sorry, I've been carrying this load way too long now and had to release it.
 
Catlover614

It is the mere fact that you are using the
phrase "at least" to evaluate the desirability
of the relationship, that bothers me---

Not any flaws or qualities actually existing
in your partner.

What made me feel bad was the idea that
you believed you needed to make excuses
for him, and to settle for what he dishes out,
because....for some reason, you and he both
think you "got nowhere else to go."
:evergreen:
 
tree said:
Catlover614

It is the mere fact that you are using the
phrase "at least" to evaluate the desirability
of the relationship, that bothers me---

Not any flaws or qualities actually existing
in your partner.

What made me feel bad was the idea that
you believed you needed to make excuses
for him, and to settle for what he dishes out,
because....for some reason, you and he both
think you "got nowhere else to go."
:evergreen:
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I guess I make excuses because he's the 1st guy to never hit me. I was homeless when we met, he took me in and I'm struggling to get back on my feet with this chronic back pain and migraines. I don't know what else to do. I have reached out to so, so, so many organizations and I have always been denied. I'm now on a 3 month waiting list for mental health services and then I can make a step in a more positive direction.
 
Maybe you have elevated cortisol. That can have an effect on your weight. Rather than being useless and telling you "Don't get stressed", you could look into things that lower cortisol, Rhodiola is good. You COULD have elevated estradiol(e2 estrogen) levels. That'll put weight on you as well. You COULD buy a product that blocks estrogen, but I wouldn't at least not without blood work to get your baseline and then blood work while on the product. Estrogen puts fat on you, but it also keeps your bones from snapping in half.
 
Actually, reading that you have back pain I'd advise not to lower e2 levels but still get them checked. You could be having back pain actually from low levels, OR the back pain could be being exacerbated from low levels.
 
Shiznown said:
Actually, reading that you have back pain I'd advise not to lower e2 levels but still get them checked. You could be having back pain actually from low levels, OR the back pain could be being exacerbated from low levels.
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Thanks for the tip, but I'm not going to that extreme in losing 20 pounds. I will lose the weight at a safe pace.
 
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