If you were honest with yourselves, how many of you hate having this condition?

[Jonn]

Sometimes I wish you didn't need to be so strong with this condition, sometimes it would be nice to have a feeling of belonging and safety in the herd. Instead of being left to figure everything out by yourself, just you and your inner voice for company.

It can make you more independent and stronger, overall.

 

[Aspychata]

I believe l would have had better interactions with my family, friends, relationships if l wasn't ASD. Yet there are things which l really enjoy like special interests, and we seemed to be blessed or cursed with that. Sometimes l think we take our struggles to personally, when NT types suffer many of the same struggles, like getting and keeping a job, or relationships with others. (l do like Mint, but that's another post).

 

[Slyfox]

I can't relate to people and nor them to me. they try to give advice but said advice doesnt work for me. course i dont dare tell them im disabled.

 

[Slyfox]

I believe l would have had better interactions with my family, friends, relationships if l wasn't ASD. Yet there are things which l really enjoy like special interests, and we seemed to be blessed or cursed with that. Sometimes l think we take our struggles to personally, when NT types suffer many of the same struggles, like getting and keeping a job, or relationships with others. (l do like Mint, but that's another post).

most nts have special interests.

 

[Aspychata]

Yes @Slyfox , but we can spend endless hours on our special interests, completely get lost in our special interests, which is unlike most NT's. And l always have to explain myself to NT types, yet they never have to explain themselves to ND types. Why do l have to explain the way l am to NT types who have no value to me, and they are upset that l don't wish to run with a crowd of people, and l don't actively seek out friendships or relationships?

 

[AprilR]

I accepted it long ago, and i appreciate it. I used to think it was a sort of learned helplessness at first but now i dont think so.

Everyone has their own set of problems in life and i dont believe life is supposed to be a paradise anyway. My life is exactly as it should be

 

[Misty Avich]

I know I'd still have problems in life if I were NT, it's normal to have problems, but I'd still rather be NT and have the problems I have. Some of the problems I have might not be problematic if I was NT, for example my noisy neighbours, although some NTs can be noise sensitive too but I also know that many NTs have that built-in logic where if the thing making the sound "can't help it" then they don't get sensitive to it. I don't have that stupid logic. I don't care what is causing the sound, if I'm sensitive to the sound enough to cause me distress then knowing the source of the sound isn't going to cure my noise sensitivity.

 

[Cutesie]

That we're having this discussion hints at one of the possible benefits of being ND: we have what and who to blame. When life is hard, we can point to autism and excuse ourselves. When living in this world seems intolerable, we can look at society as the source of our problems.

Is it always a good thing? No way. It can cause us to be bitter and to give up. The advantage is when we use those feelings as a propellant towards fighting through; a challenge is more easily overcome when there is an adversary that we see.

An NT might not be able to see such an enemy as clearly. They're likely to look at themselves as the problem, and be miserably guilt-ridden.

There's nothing clear:cut about what I'm writing. Since self-diagnosing with Asperger's a dozen years ago, I've had times where it has made me feel better about who I am. At other times, I've allowed myself to not do hard work that was necessary, using disability as an excuse for not moving forward.

There was a time that I attended an Aspie support group. A major reason that I stopped going is because I was sick of the constant attacks made against NTs. Still, I recognize that some of the complainers might have benefitted from lashing out.

 

[blitzkrieg]

I spent many years absolutely hating myself for having autism. I feel as though in the past few years I have become more accepting of it however.

It helps to meet and talk to other people on the spectrum who have similar experiences.

 

[NB79]

There is a saying here, 'those who get burned with milk see the cow and cry'
well, if you get burned up with people enough times... i understand people who given up on trying to make friends etc, that doesn't mean you give up on life, you can have other areas that you can enjoy.

 

[Jonn]

That we're having this discussion hints at one of the possible benefits of being ND: we have what and who to blame. When life is hard, we can point to autism and excuse ourselves. When living in this world seems intolerable, we can look at society as the source of our problems.

While I don't want to be negative:
A large part of the problem with being on the spectrum IS other people.

Marcus Aurelius My grand pappy used to say:
Most pain comes from other people.
Reason suggests avoiding most people.
He was a smart old dawg.

Is it always a good thing? No way. It can cause us to be bitter and to give up. The advantage is when we use those feelings as a propellant towards fighting through; a challenge is more easily overcome when there is an adversary that we see.

Resentment can/does motivate us at times, but it should only be a stepping stone, imo.
It isn't the best way to live your life, in my opinion.
I prefer to embrace a Stoic-based Philosophy.

 

[Jonn]

There is a saying here, 'those who get burned with milk see the cow and cry'
well, if you get burned up with people enough times... i understand people who given up on trying to make friends etc, that doesn't mean you give up on life, you can have other areas that you can enjoy.

Social success = Oxytocin generation.
Social failure = Cortisol production.
Simples.

 

[Jonn]

I spent many years absolutely hating myself for having autism. I feel as though in the past few years I have become more accepting of it however.

This is the natural progression for most people, in my opinion.

I never really have had a problem with my autism, by the way.
I just kept on being myself "through hell and high water".

It helps to meet and talk to other people on the spectrum who have similar experiences.

True dat.

 

[Cutesie]

Most pain comes from other people.
Reason suggests avoiding most people.

Other people give me love, caring, comradeship, laughter, respect...

I recognize that humans are spread across many spectrums, and that I am privileged to gain much from social interaction, while such relationships are overwhelmingly negative to others.

 

[Jonn]

Other people give me love, caring, comradeship, laughter, respect...

I recognize that humans are spread across many spectrums, and that I am privileged to gain much from social interaction, while such relationships are overwhelmingly negative to others.

Do you get on with most people?

 

[Cutesie]

Do you get on with most people?

It's complicated. I can be very friendly and talkative (too much maybe), but also shy and timid. I've never had a friend that I could truly confide in, but I've had a couple of friends that brought a lot of good into my life. I can crave company, and I can just want to be left alone. It seems that my community is filled with good people, because no one says anything nasty to me about my idiosyncracies. I do live with the unresolved traumas of growing up bullied and isolated. My close relatives love me, but they don't know how to be supportive. Was I correct about it being complicated?

 

[Slyfox]

my life would been better. i could joined military if i wasn't autisitc. probably would got wife and kids.

 

[Boogs]

my life woud been better. i could joined military if i wasn't autisitc. probably would got wife and kids.

Hmmm, so to take a light-hearted view (without meaning to be disparaging!), if you were not autistic, you could have died or been cruelly handicapped because you joined the military, and your family life could be in tatters due to divorce or other upsets causing you even more grief than not having one?

 

[Cutesie]

There's no way to know what life would be like with any of our "what if" scenarios. (I thought of writing almost exactly what you did, @Boogs, but didn't trust myself to do it kindly.)

I was born with a physical handicap. Because of it, the government gives me money every month. It's not enough for a normal person to live on, but it helps a lot in making me not such a burden on others. If I didn't receive it, what would be? I might be homeless, dead or just less functional. On the other hand, I might have gotten a job and started to actually live.

For the second half of my schooling - from fifth grade through the end of high school - I only attended classes sporadically, and barely participated when there. The school let me float like that for all of those years, never even threatening to expel me. (I didn't graduate middle school, but the high school - part of the same institution - accepted me anyway.) Again, though I think about what would have happened if someone had taken a stricter route with me, we can never know.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't know for certain what my life would be without this misfortune but I can take an educated guess.