@ Sparticus: you had me laughing again. Mr.Preacher man? Really? What a hoot! Umm....the real Eastwood's romantic life reads like a train-wreck: 8 kids with 6 different women. Those are just the ones publicly known.
As or women wanting alpha males, if you look around, honestly, very few guys measure up to this vague ideal. It is like the alpha female thing: how many stunningly gorgeous, successful, brilliant, confident, witty & affluent women are there, realistically, out there? Even those who may look the part often lead personal lives that are tragic: I sure as hell would not trade places with Marilyn Monroe, Princess Diana, Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss or Britney Spears & a host of other young train-wreck so-called bombshells!
Although you may well have experience with many dating site women, that still represents a relatively constricted sample since only a narrow type of women uses those services. The alpha woman type is not on 'match dot com' or 'plenty of fish' hoping to find an alpha dude millionaire. Alpha guys (wealthy execs, heirs to fortunes, celebs etc.) are not there either! Married women or those in a relationship are not there, few really beautiful women join & few elderly women do either. Most members over age 35 are either divorcees or have been in a long-term relationship that ended. Many have kids from a previous relationship & the same is true for the men. Most of the people are there because they are having difficulties meeting someone 'in real life'. Those who claim that they are too busy to meet someone are not necessarily being sincere: if they are so busy, how will they find time to devote to an actual relationship?
As for it being easier for us Aspie women, romance-wise, it may be true. Society still expects guys to be initiators & pursuers so they usually make the 1st move (& risk looking like an idiot or getting rejected). Being reasonably conventionally attractive helps, but it is a double-edged sword: you get hit on so much that it gets invasive (sometimes scary) & annoying. Also, there is a certain male arrogance, promoted in media like movies & ads (-even cartoons!) wherein really gorgeous/shapely women are (supposedly) willing to settle for unattractive guys; some who have little to offer (maladjusted, 'recovering' addicts, broke, angry...)
Look at late night cartoons for adults, for example. Look at the figures on Marge Simpson, Francine (Stan's wife in American Dad), Peter Griffin's wife, Wilma Flintstone & Betty Rubble, Jane Jetson & even Jimmy Falcone's wife 'Cookie'! Now, compare them to their husbands. Watch ads for Viagra & Cialis: the men are often balding & grey older men BUT the women are significantly younger & usually much more attractive! Beer ads are notorious for this. NEWS FLASH: shapely, stunning young women are NOT interested in schloomphy, paunchy guys (unless they're fabulously wealthy) anymore than gorgeous, hot guys are into really plain women!!!
This often happens in ads for other products too. This reflects a certain unspoken culture of male entitlement: they get to judge our looks & figure (& describe meeting a 'hot blonde' a 'tall & tanned beauty' all of which says nothing about character!) BUT if we do the same,we are shallow gold-digging biatches. I cry foul, here.
THe following happened to me last Spring in Atlanta with Mr. Soup. I was sitting in the hotel lobby. Mr. Soup ambled over, spoke to me for a bit, then went off to the concierge for some info. Some guy waltzed over & tried chatting at me. I was clearly not interested. The guy said, "What: you were friendly enough with that other guy: I'm not good enough for you?" The presumptuousness of this jerk was astounding! I got up & left. I didn't feel like I owed him any explanation of my male preferences. Even if that hadn't been my husband & I was a single woman chatting with a single guy, it doesn't mean I somehow am obligated to talk to any guy that shambled by or believes he is entitled to my attentions & justify my choices!
It is easier but harder in some ways because guys are seldom in physical danger from women (YES, there are a few crazy, psycho broads out there). We have to worry about sexual assaults of all kinds, stalkers, getting drugged & 'date raped', battered... & our comparatively smaller size in most cases (I'm a pipsqueak) increases our vulnerability. We get labeled in ways men do not: especially in some cultural communities. All you have to do is smile at some guy or make eye-contact & it means you 'asked for it'. Physical/social & cultural vulnerability complicate our lives. As Aspie women, we may be more likely to miss or misinterpret signals from a guy, rendering us at an increased risk: esp. the younger, less experienced among us. Its complicated!
