Is this a "me" thing, or an ASD thing?

[Gomendosi]

Irrational Sense Of Loyalty.

It is actually getting a little out of hand for me now, as an example;
This is the only site I get on and when people say they are on other sites as well it really bugs me, I know, I know, none of my business right.
Why should that even bother me?

Hey, thanks guys for your thoughts, I hope I didn?t prompt any of you to feel you should explain yourself about being on other sites, I just used that to explain that I think my sense of loyalty is a little off kilter at the moment, you guys are entitled to do whatever you want, but for me it is the one site only, I mean, I tried to pick one where I felt comfortable so that says something for the place huh?
You know I don?t dislike you guys any, for posting elsewhere, it was more about me being irrational in my loyalty, so it is definitely a "it's not you, its me" type of thing ; ]

Also I have the ability to talk about anything at all, I have no qualms about discussing bodily functions or sexual habits as it is always at my discretion how much about myself I am willing to reveal, I have actually been told I am far too honest and open for my own good, and I certainly can understand the thinking that there are different sites for different topics and I just have to hope I don?t ever make anybody feel uncomfortable enough to leave this site.




I do think maybe sometimes I have such strong feelings about something and that feeling bleeds out into other areas and the way I feel about anything else is then felt more strongly about as well, like the fact that that my loyalty to my last employer was abused, maybe I haven?t dealt with that fully and its showing up here?

 

[Gomendosi]

In general I'm not really that much of a reader and if I read, I read non-fiction pretty much exclusively.

A reason for this is; I cannot really "imagine" what I'm reading in a novel. I found that it works fine, if I saw the movie of said book (even if it's a slightly different way of portraying it; Blade runner and Do android dream of electric sheep would be an example of this).

I also found that even if I go through a book that's hundreds of pages, I have a problem in adding up events and such and I pretty much would have to summarize each chapter with pen and paper myself. I usually read a plotoutline on wikipedia before I start reading. I don't care if it's spoiled; I'm usually more interested in the way it's portrayed, rather than being "surprised" in the end. I do have it a bit with movies as well though... finding the motive on why person X does something... (ait's even worse when it's not "in scene" and I deal with everyday situations, daily life and "real" people)

But in general, just reading a story, I cannot make any sense of it and I need visual cues and aids to let me have an outline of what I'm reading, especially if there's things being describe that are visual. (A green coat will get me wondering what tint of green, and why the color green might be important even, and that's just the tip of the iceberg).

Along those same lines; it's why I picked up on doing illustrations for my project before I really get into writing (short) stories about it. I need objects, locations and a visual storyboard before I write anything down. Weirdly enough I don't have an issue of thinking about the "narrative" of an illustration I make, that kinda goes by itself mostly.

That got it's origin by reading graphic novels/comics a bit... and visual cues in said "novels" help me focus more on text and less on the entire issue of "imagining the surroundings" for example. I have the wildest monologues with myself if I have to imagine something I read because there's so many alternatives of what I read, and I want to make sure I pin down the correct image the writer intended.

Yes, it keeps me from reading a lot of good books but if I don't understand or recognize it as a "good" book... it ain't a lot of value to me.

King_oni, believe it or not I think I may comprehend what you mean here, I actually have periods where trying to read a book is like me sawing off my own leg, it just isn?t going to happen, not because I don?t want it too but just because I am not in the right frame of mind. It could be that you have so much going on that you can?t tune stuff out to get into the story, or it could be the creative part of your mind is already sated by your other hobbies.

I just think that a person who writes a book knows that they cant go into too much detail as the reader will make up stuff in their own mind anyway, I have read many a book where I?ve had my bubble burst upon reading that its set somewhere entirely different than where I was picturing it, but then I have no other outlet for my imagination either.

 

[Gomendosi]

I think this is my first post on this thread? Not sure. Anyway here goes;

I love to hate things. Not sure why, and I like to think that I'm a pretty friendly guy. I get a lot of enjoyment from hating things though :lol:

Example: The NFL has 32 football teams. I got happiness from supporting my team, but I get hours and hours and hours of joy from hating the other 31 teams. (Okay that just sounds plain creepy :lol

It could be a stranger driving a small car in traffic or someone who walks by the warehouse while I’m at work. I never need a justified reason to hate anything, I just need some free time to get the irrational anger flowing haha and its never violent hate either. Its almost like something to occupy my mind for a little bit.

Anybody else like that?

Okay 2010Dolby, I too get to hating on things for no discernable reason, I have been know to boycott stuff for the narrowest of perceived slights against me.
I see people getting around looking certain ways and start hating, and then I feel I should rationalize it. It’s irrational for a reason! Dunno what that reason could be but its there.
I am not immune to getting others caught up in my hatreds of things either; I once had a convo with a customer for about an hour about how disrespectful people are nowadays.

Its all about emotion, I think we have to bottle stuff up so much these days it is actually good to get your hate on for a while every now and again, just let it go rather than risk going postal one day after strangling your 44 cats ; ]

 

[Arashi222]

I have been thinking on this for a while. I was wondering if its just a me thing or an AS thing that I have my own world. I tend to spend hours all the time in my own world. One of the reasons I got into doll collecting was to have a physical representation of the world in which I live in. I have lots of characters stories of things that happened or in my case are happening because my world tends to be in real time. But I was wondering if other people with AS tend to have their own worlds too? or if it was just me.

 

[Harpuia]

I have been thinking on this for a while. I was wondering if its just a me thing or an AS thing that I have my own world. I tend to spend hours all the time in my own world. One of the reasons I got into doll collecting was to have a physical representation of the world in which I live in. I have lots of characters stories of things that happened or in my case are happening because my world tends to be in real time. But I was wondering if other people with AS tend to have their own worlds too? or if it was just me.

I don't know. Maybe it's the hyperfocus I'm told that could be part of it. I have a high obsessive trait as well and when I am programming, I feel like I am creating things, and I could get caught for hours. That's actually what happened at work today.. I wound up having to do an hour overtime (I get vacation instead of overtime pay though.)

 

[Arashi222]

I don't know. Maybe it's the hyperfocus I'm told that could be part of it. I have a high obsessive trait as well and when I am programming, I feel like I am creating things, and I could get caught for hours. That's actually what happened at work today.. I wound up having to do an hour overtime (I get vacation instead of overtime pay though.)

I understand the obsessive part. I tend to do that in a lot of things. But I have had this world since I was a very young child its grown obviously as I have grown. If I were to give an example of like how in Narnia from the Chronicles of Narnia they have the kings and queens of old that they come into the world of Narnia. Its like that only I am usually just a bystander a historian of my world. I don't know I think I sound bit off but I tend to spend hours and hours in my world and often feel as if I am being yanked out of it to be in this world. But I am just wondering if its something that others have too. Like you said you have hyperfocus and tend to be in a world that way. I don't know maybe its more of an imaginary friend thing...maybe. I'm not sure I am explaining myself correctly

 

[Harpuia]

I understand the obsessive part. I tend to do that in a lot of things. But I have had this world since I was a very young child its grown obviously as I have grown. If I were to give an example of like how in Narnia from the Chronicles of Narnia they have the kings and queens of old that they come into the world of Narnia. Its like that only I am usually just a bystander a historian of my world. I don't know I think I sound bit off but I tend to spend hours and hours in my world and often feel as if I am being yanked out of it to be in this world. But I am just wondering if its something that others have too. Like you said you have hyperfocus and tend to be in a world that way. I don't know maybe its more of an imaginary friend thing...maybe. I'm not sure I am explaining myself correctly

Ah. Then something similar to like the dreams I seem to have that pop up every year or so where I see a lot of Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, statues, and other stuff like that?

 

[Arashi222]

Ah. Then something similar to like the dreams I seem to have that pop up every year or so where I see a lot of Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, statues, and other stuff like that?

yah kinda like that. I know it sounds weird but I know other doll owners that express similar things. But i wonder if its part of the AS? You know beyond the obsessiin part of things to really feeing like you don't belong here you belong somewhere else entirely. I honestly don't know how to explain.

 

[Bay]

Arashi, I can relate to the experience of being yanked out of my own world only to have to function in the real world, which is far less interesting. It is a shock to the psyche. I prefer my own world, but it is lonely there.

 

[y2marmar]

I'm SO glad this was brought up. I've always had my own world inside my head. It's like an alternate universe that I live in. It's so much more interesting than this world. I can function normally, but every chance I get my brain is away in my "other" world. The one in my head.
I thought I was the only one who did this.

 

[King_Oni]

I tend to have that a lot... up to the point where therapists pretty much told me I'm estranged from "reality". Most of the time "reality" doesn't even connect to me, but I can manage myself fine. Of course when social convention dictates I'm a mess like that. I've ended up thinking to what some people consider "incoreherent" quite often. A lot of stuff does not make sense to me, and as such it's more of a problem whenever I'm being forced to "snap out of it".

It's more than just interests and all... no matter how much I read, quite often everything seems new, day after day. Too bad I don't care for those things otherwise I'd be amazed of the wonders of nature and science each day and I'd be looking in awe just cause of those things.

To be honest, google and wikipedia are my best friends most of the time. I feel I rarely have any common knowledge. I just have a hard time retaining that information, but weirdly enough I know my colorwheel, can tell you which glues bond which materials best and why they do, give you weird theories of how the brain on drugs works or can pop out a experimental (in a technical sense) musictune if I feel like it. With that, yes... that is a bit of interest, but I'm so far up my interest that I sometimes don't even know what day it is. And just because I don't care, that information does not retain and add up on a daily basis I feel.

 

[Arashi222]

Arashi, I can relate to the experience of being yanked out of my own world only to have to function in the real world, which is far less interesting. It is a shock to the psyche. I prefer my own world, but it is lonely there.

You know I don't find it lonely to be in my world. For me I find that I am much better in my world because I am the historian of that world I know everything that has been, will be, and all that is present. I have this protector character too which I do have a doll for now. But yes this world hurts more to me. I am glad to find that I am not the only one that has this issue of feeling yanked out of their own world and into this one reality sucks sometimes.

I'm SO glad this was brought up. I've always had my own world inside my head. It's like an alternate universe that I live in. It's so much more interesting than this world. I can function normally, but every chance I get my brain is away in my "other" world. The one in my head.
I thought I was the only one who did this.

Its good know that I am not the only one that has this issue. I got into dollie collecting because I wanted a physical representation of what was going on in my head. I would rather live there than here any day. They have been my friends for so long now that I often feel like I don't want to come yanking back into this one. But people tend to frown on you being in your own world too much. I just was curious if anyone else had like characters and things that they talk to and respond back (its not like schizophrenia either).

 

[Needtobreathe]

Can you give an example of the sort of things that you hear?

When I worked at a pizza store there was a beep that would go off whenever the front door was opened. After a couple of months I began hearing the beeping when there wasn't anyone at the front. I would be in the back talking to a co-worker and stop mid conversation and walk to the front of the store all prepared to take someone's order but find an empty lobby. My entire time working there no other employees had the same problem.

When I'm in the shower I think my parents are yelling at me to come down to do something.

 

[King_Oni]

At first I was referred to a specialist because I could see and hear things that other people refused to believe were there. They thought I had a mental disorder. Now it turns out I may have an ASD (I'm currently going through the process of being diagnosed), it all makes sense. Does anyone else experience this? And how do you know if the things you are hearing are actually real or not, if no-one else can hear them?

I sometimes think I hear my parents calling my name when I'm in my room.

To add in paranoia, I sometimes don't hear them calling me (even when it's quiet). For that reason I need a rough estimate when my mom thinks dinner is ready. That's the only time on a typical day I'm being disturbed from whatever I'm doing. But since I don't have clocks in my room it usually ends up in being downstairs "what time is dinner? Oh, in 10 minutes" And I'll put something between my door so it's halfway open and I don't start things that involve sound or concentration.

Though, in that way I have at least a few minutes up to 30 minutes a day where I'm neurotically sitting around without a sense to do anything. And that gets me down, because I actually want to do stuff. That comes with an impulsive train of thought.

I'm happy my parents never come barging in anymore. In the past they used to phone me from downstairs, but even that was too much of a "surprise".

 

[y2marmar]

I often think I can hear things, movements upstairs when there's no-one up there. Little noises around the house, eg rustling of paper or something that no-one else can here. This morning I've been convinced I can hear music playing somewhere in the house.

 

[Arashi222]

Does anyone get on food kicks. Like only eating a specific type of cereal...like for me right now its Sunbelt Fruits and Nuts cereal...I can go through like three boxes in acouple of days.

 

[. . .]

Does anyone get on food kicks. Like only eating a specific type of cereal...like for me right now its Sunbelt Fruits and Nuts cereal...I can go through like three boxes in acouple of days.

Yes.

 

[Arashi222]

Yes.

That is cool. I tend to do this all the time. Like my mom hates shopping for food for me sometimes because I ask for the weirdest stuff in large quantities

 

[. . .]

That is cool. I tend to do this all the time. Like my mom hates shopping for food for me sometimes because I ask for the weirdest stuff in large quantities

Give us some examples.

 

[Arashi222]

Give us some examples.

Um things like Ketchup and cheese, cottage cheese and tortilla chips, Cereal with no milk, Ham and mustard no bread or anything, that's just some of hte weird combos.