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Is this a "me" thing, or an ASD thing?

I have been told this many times in my life, usually in the context of being asked to be less so. I am always caught off guard when someone says this, as I am usually just trying to get something done (and trying to accomplish things working along side a NT is another thread, I'm afraid). I think of it as being focused, actually.
 
Hi Loomis- I know exactly what you mean-I was always told i was too intense-now I say to people " I am not down about this it is just fact! If you ask me i will tell you the truth"- however intensity can be easily misconstrued as I frown when trying to concentrate, especially when talking and listening to others. On the other hand Sometimes I may well be intense though, as interacting in a world where you feel like a complete stranger has its ramifications.-I hope all is well with you Loomis.
 
I get the same thing too. I know I'm an intense person & sometimes it even alienates other Aspies! I see it this way: one can always scroll past posts one finds too intense, disturbing or even long. If someone's views seem too intense for me, before 'blaming' the other person, I do an internal inventory & check myself. Why am I feeling the way I am? Usually it ends up having more to do with me & how I think or feel than it does with the other person. I don't want to go through life being a mixed bag of hypersensitivities others feel compelled to tip-toe around in order to avoid melt-downs, explosions & other forms of aggravation.
 
When life gets overly intense, it is better to remove yourself from the situation with as little fuss or commotion as possible-in so doing, you are not creating "a look at me situation"-this is when others who do not understand, think you are both overreacting and needy and in general an overall pain in the backside- I have found that when one has a greater understanding of what works and what doesn't, the power balance shifts from the observer, who may well make negative assumptions, back to you- we have the power and its about time others out there realized that too! We are also entitled to bad days but a knowledge of how we tick can and usually takes the edge of it. Oftentimes I feel we beat ourselves up over our reactions to situations that others deem inappropriate and indeed our somewhat high expectations of ourselves fuel that anger disappointment and perhaps shame. Once we accept that we have Aspergers/autism and that it is OK to be different I believe we have a better chance of success and happiness within ourselves and in so doing help change the perceptions of our friends, colleagues and families.
 
I'm having a bout of paranoia and obsessive thoughts. Does anyone else jump to the most awful possible cause when something is going wrong? Like, my dog is sick and symptoms are vague. Someone must have poisoned her! Or, this weird thing is wrong with me so I must have cancer, or MRSA, or whatever. Is this just me?
 
imagesbyholly said:
I'm having a bout of paranoia and obsessive thoughts. Does anyone else jump to the most awful possible cause when something is going wrong? Like, my dog is sick and symptoms are vague. Someone must have poisoned her! Or, this weird thing is wrong with me so I must have cancer, or MRSA, or whatever. Is this just me?
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Might be. I don't do that.
 
I know another Aspie who does that too BUt I don't know if it is an Aspie thing or a trait you both share BUT that is also pervasive among NTs. The media bombards us with scares over every disease, bug, flu, rash or ailment. We are compelled to be hyper-aware of everything from the ubiquitous Breast Cancer lobby to AIDS & Swine Flu. TV shows abound featuring fare like My Weird Incurable Disease or Strange Birth Defects & Deformities or This Could Happen To You!!!

The media has contributed to a lot of hypochondriasis & paranoia. Could be more of a modern human being thing.
 
My mom is a hypochondriac on my behalf- "don't go camping you'll get west nile!" "So and so just died of a brain seizure because he was dehydrated. Just something to keep in mind when you're outside."
 
Sounds like my NT mother: you'd be amazed at all the things she's said can go wrong just by existing! Every disease, mishap & obscure crime WILL happen to me IF I ___________________ <----- add activity of choice here. I might get KIDNAPPED on the way to the grocery store. Who the heck even WANTS to kidnap a 47 yr old pipsqueak suburban housewife whose family is NOT wealthy AND who has Aspergers?!? Any takers? 50% off...You couldn't GIVE me to a kidnapper who has any common sense whatsoever.

Other scares include MAD COW disease (although I'm not even a cow... people get Kreutzfeld-Jacov or something) & it doesn't come from an organic APPLE!!!
 
I don't know if it's something just me, something more people have (and as such even NT people) or if it's something that's more ASD related. I don't know if my explanation is going to be clear and make sense, but I'll try. It's not a language barrier thing, because I don't even know how to express it in my native tongue, lol.

So... erm...

Does anyone feel that, even if people adress something in general, that way too often, you're looking if it adresses you as well personally, and as such you spend a lot of time thinking how this fits in your life? Not neccesarily that someone says it in a way that you can overhear it, but say, you have a conversation with someone and someone states something, and it might be something that hasn't occured to you, and now it's "yet another issue" you have to think about in life... and more so if it's something personal, or even something personal that you don't stand for.

By that moment you're like... "well, what actually IS MY stance on this"... I tend to have that a lot. And as such it ends up in stresfull situations because I rather just see things how they turn out instead of having an entire plan going on, on issue X. But it's where these things turn into obsessions and you have to figure out what your stance is on this, and if it doesn't fit, how you're going to accept/fix it. It's a big way for me to NOT get stuff done because I'm spending way too much attention about something just because this issue apparently exists "somewhere". (on the other hand it provides for having perspectives on way too much stuff I shouldn't really set my mind to)

Currently I'm stumped for clear examples, so excuse me as I don't have those around.
 
imagesbyholly said:
I'm having a bout of paranoia and obsessive thoughts. Does anyone else jump to the most awful possible cause when something is going wrong? Like, my dog is sick and symptoms are vague. Someone must have poisoned her! Or, this weird thing is wrong with me so I must have cancer, or MRSA, or whatever. Is this just me?
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Absolutely, I do it.

I used to be much worse but I have gained some control over this by reminding myself that in the past when I have worried about some catastrophe happening, it never came to pass. I have to remind myself and work hard logically arguing with myself and convincing myself that what I am doing is useless and harmful. I can mostly short circuit this destructive thinking eventually. The more I do it, the easier it gets to interrupt the negative thinking. But I still find myself starting to do it a lot.

I used to do it with health issues but it was not limited to health. I did it with finances, with my car etc. etc.
 
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I used to have those thoughts too, in college when I was overwhelmed with everything going on. For me it was always some horrible environmental disaster that would wipe out everyone. Not that I'd miss most people but the thought of the sky being on fire was scary, lol. I actually worked myself up into several months of insomnia over this (and the other things that were stressing me out) and after a couple of semesters got kicked out of my college.
 
King_Oni said:
By that moment you're like... "well, what actually IS MY stance on this"... I tend to have that a lot. And as such it ends up in stresfull situations because I rather just see things how they turn out instead of having an entire plan going on, on issue X. But it's where these things turn into obsessions and you have to figure out what your stance is on this, and if it doesn't fit, how you're going to accept/fix it. It's a big way for me to NOT get stuff done because I'm spending way too much attention about something just because this issue apparently exists "somewhere". (on the other hand it provides for having perspectives on way too much stuff I shouldn't really set my mind to)[/I]
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Wow, yes. I think it's because we feel like we have to figure everything out- we have a fixation with wanting to know everything about everything. We are super interested in learning and our tendancy to obsess kicks in. Do you think so? When this good tendancy of mine starts turning badly obsessive, I try to remind my self that I don't need to run down every rabbit hole right now and "I don't know" can be a good answer. Also, it is not my job to educate everyone on everything they don't know about yet- it can be offensive and annoying. I still catch myself doing it sometimes though.
 
imagesbyholly said:
Wow, yes. I think it's because we feel like we have to figure everything out- we have a fixation with wanting to know everything about everything. We are super interested in learning and our tendancy to obsess kicks in. Do you think so? When this good tendancy of mine starts turning badly obsessive, I try to remind my self that I don't need to run down every rabbit hole right now and "I don't know" can be a good answer. Also, it is not my job to educate everyone on everything they don't know about yet- it can be offensive and annoying. I still catch myself doing it sometimes though.
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In terms of figuring stuff out, you're surely right... but what about something that actually might affect your personal life? You pretty have to see how this fits in with your life I guess
 
I often become sad at the weirdest things. For example, I was just looking at all the smilies, and some of them made me sad. I also become sad when somebody asks me a question, but they already know what I'm going to say. Does this type of thing happen to a lot of Aspies?
 
Does anyone else like shiny objects? I tend to love to play with sets of keys and or rings, watches anything that sparkles and shimmers or is shiny to play with. I have a bracelet that is made of metal balls and I bring it to work to play with. I always bring my own toys to entertain myself and keep myself from getting too agitated. Does anyone else do this? Shiny objects of have their own toys to keep them more relaxed??
 
I have particular items that keep me calm, yes. Some are shiny but I'm more into certain textures and simple moving parts- like the hinges on carabiners.
 
I got a carabiner free with a pair of boots I bought today and I haven't stopped opening and closing it all day.
I have rather enjoyed flicking it open so it snaps shut with that metallic plink noise hehehe
 
I love things I can hold in my hands and click, like a pen or carabiner. Very satisfying somehow. Is that a stim?
 
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