Ladies: What is Your Definition of a "Nice" Guy?

[Rayner]

So again. that "not a sociopath" thing really is the key.

 

[Nitro]

Let me put it to you this way,I have all the traits of a nice guy wrapped up in the persona of someone who lives life on the edge.I was raised to be respectful of others and have manners. Being a comedian helps to get conversations flowing with relative ease and I have a full catalog of material to work with
Comfort clothing to me is a pair of jeans,a black T-shirt,black work boots and the gypsy leather of those who love life in the wind. My dress clothing can range from the first stuff I mentioned that doesn't have huge holes in it or a nicer printed Tee all the way up to an antique long tailed tuxedo

Irresponsible? At times when it involves taking risks with my own life,but very on top of financial matters,my work ethic and keeping a household working to the best of my abilities. I didn't scratch my way to the comfortable reaches of the food chain by being an idiot

 

[Rayner]

Wow Mr. Nitro you dress better than I do. My dress clothing is when my I'm wearing clothes aren't dirty and I remember to take off my hat when I'm indoors.

Let me put it to you this way,I have all the traits of a nice guy wrapped up in the persona of someone who lives life on the edge.I was raised to be respectful of others and have manners. Being a comedian helps to get conversations flowing with relative ease and I have a full catalog of material to work with
Comfort clothing to me is a pair of jeans,a black T-shirt,black work boots and the gypsy leather of those who love life in the wind. My dress clothing can range from the first stuff I mentioned that doesn't have huge holes in it or a nicer printed Tee all the way up to an antique long tailed tuxedo

Irresponsible? At times when it involves taking risks with my own life,but very on top of financial matters,my work ethic and keeping a household working to the best of my abilities. I didn't scratch my way to the comfortable reaches of the food chain by being an idiot

 

[Maelstrom]

What are the traits that my man Paladin, has that would make him both a nice guy and a bad boy?

Roomered to hang out around Unicorns or have screen names like Maelstrom....

Single lady: One Holy Warrior to go please!....

Store clerk: That will be 100 gold unicorn coins please miss!
Store clerk: No refunds miss if you bring him back damaged!

Single Lady: Oh! can I return him if he is only slightly used and abused?

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

Guys, guys, please. The original post was pretty clear that while no one is technically excluded from the thread, the point of this thread was really aimed at the females. I know y'all are aspies but you have to read the room.

So, ladies, here's an opportunity to state your opinion on what constitutes a "nice" guy in the romantic sense. Perhaps your thoughts on this will be of benefit to some of our gentleman members who are unsure what this term implies from a woman's perspective.

I'm sure Cali Cat doesn't mind to hear our opinions but let me point out that the majority of this post so far is dominated by opinionated males. I'm not going to speak for Cali Cat but perhaps you guys need to understand that just because a woman doesn't say something outright doesn't mean she doesn't say it. Read between the lines.

Guys, why not step aside and just listen to what may be said. You don't have to make some "look at me" statement, showing you are on the nice guy team or the opposing team. Come on, y'all really have hijacked it pretty bad with around 2/3 of the posts being man noise.

Please understand that I genuinely want to follow this thread based on the spirit of the original post. I would like to see women being open and talkative about their feelings on this matter. I am not trying to sound insulting to you guys, I like most of y'all personally. But can't y'all just... sit back and listen to a room full of women without trying to dominate the whole conversation?
This could be very helpful to all of us men if you just listen to what women have to say. Stop trying to be involved with your mouths and just be involved with your ears (you know what I mean). I say this in love, guys, please.

 

[Nitro]

Guys, guys, please. The original post was pretty clear that while no one is technically excluded from the thread, the point of this thread was really aimed at the females. I know y'all are aspies but you have to read the room.



I'm sure Cali Cat doesn't mind to hear our opinions but let me point out that the majority of this post so far is dominated by opinionated males. I'm not going to speak for Cali Cat but perhaps you guys need to understand that just because a woman doesn't say something outright doesn't mean she doesn't say it. Read between the lines.

Guys, why not step aside and just listen to what may be said. You don't have to make some "look at me" statement, showing you are on the nice guy team or the opposing team. Come on, y'all really have hijacked it pretty bad with around 2/3 of the posts being man noise.

Please understand that I genuinely want to follow this thread based on the spirit of the original post. I would like to see women being open and talkative about their feelings on this matter. I am not trying to sound insulting to you guys, I like most of y'all personally. But can't y'all just... sit back and listen to a room full of women without trying to dominate the whole conversation?
This could be very helpful to all of us men if you just listen to what women have to say. Stop trying to be involved with your mouths and just be involved with your ears (you know what I mean). I say this in love, guys, please.

I think we just got yelled at

Sorry kids,was only trying to add to the discussion

 

[Cali Cat]

What are the traits that my man Paladin, has that would make him both a nice guy and a bad boy?

Paladin is a mercenary gunfighter. That's bad. He kills people for a living. However, those people desperately deserve it. That is good. He fights for the poor, often for free, and cares about people. That's nice.

Basically, he's the killer with a heart of gold.

 

[Maelstrom]

Paladin is a mercenary gunfighter. That's bad. He kills people for a living. However, those people desperately deserve it. That is good. He fights for the poor, often for free, and cares about people. That's nice.

Basically, he's the killer with a heart of gold.

Will you talk to my aspie girl she doesn't want me to have a six shooter. I'm golden on the rest of the list maybe?

 

[Major]

Is it a "nice guy" to you and your relationship or a "nice guy" overall in all contexts? No one is perfect by far in either of those contexts. My husband is a "nice guy" to me. He has labeled himself an ***hole to every one else even though I disagree entirely after more than a decade of marriage they only get the "**hole" if they were first. (he isnt an **hole as much as he wishes he was) I could list many things that I would consider a "nice guy" about him.. but Id say the biggest one is that he didnt judge me for my differences one bit from the start. He accepts me for who I am and never tries to "force" me to change what may be considered problematic but is always there to help me if I chose to.

 

[Cali Cat]

I'm sure Cali Cat doesn't mind to hear our opinions but let me point out that the majority of this post so far is dominated by opinionated males. I'm not going to speak for Cali Cat but perhaps you guys need to understand that just because a woman doesn't say something outright doesn't mean she doesn't say it. Read between the lines.

Actually, I do like to hear the guys' opinions, but I guess I was hoping for a little more female involvement too. Ladies ...

The whole "nice guy" thing seems to leave a lot of men at a loss. I hoped reading the responses from women might lend some insight into this very general and widely applied term.

Maybe in hearing what reasonable women have to say on the subject, some men can find a common theme in what this type of woman responds to. As I've said before, being a "nice guy" isn't the problem as much as it is finding a nice girl who appreciates those qualities. It's shame so many men are running around feeling bad about being nice. Only in the media-driven 21st century, folks.

 

[Rayner]

Paladin could also be called a gentleman gunfighter. He only shoots/kills when ever it is absolutely necessary. He prefers solving his problem with out violence. He isn't is your typical hitman, since he's not motivated 100% by personal gain Rather truth, conscience, ideals and morals.

Paladin is a mercenary gunfighter. That's bad. He kills people for a living. However, those people desperately deserve it. That is good. He fights for the poor, often for free, and cares about people. That's nice.

Basically, he's the killer with a heart of gold.

 

[Maelstrom]

Actually, I do like to hear the guys' opinions, but I guess I was hoping for a little more female involvement too. Ladies ...

Maybe in hearing what reasonable women have to say on the subject, some men can find a common theme in what this type of woman responds to. As I've said before, being a "nice guy" isn't the problem as much as it is finding a nice girl who appreciates those qualities. It's shame so many men are running around feeling bad about being nice. Only in the media-driven 21st century, folks.

My apologies if I scared off any nice aspies Ladies from commenting I always like to here what the nice aspie Ladies have to say.

Yes it is useful for us guys to learn what you ladies like please comment away.
Sorry! I should not have posted.

 

[Rayner]

Why will your aspie lady not let you own a revolver?

Will you talk to my aspie girl she doesn't want me to have a six shooter. I'm golden on the rest of the list maybe?

 

[Maelstrom]

Why will your aspie lady not let you own a revolver?

Umm....I'd rather not get into that....I'm still working through things with her. But I will consider her wishes carefully...relations is a two way street some give and take on both sides, if properly done.

 

[Rayner]

I also apologize for my stupid questions. Understanding you ladies never has been my strong suit. I'm very fortunate to have to have a nice girl in my life... That's not my sister.

Actually, I do like to hear the guys' opinions, but I guess I was hoping for a little more female involvement too. Ladies ...

The whole "nice guy" thing seems to leave a lot of men at a loss. I hoped reading the responses from women might lend some insight into this very general and widely applied term.

Maybe in hearing what reasonable women have to say on the subject, some men can find a common theme in what this type of woman responds to. As I've said before, being a "nice guy" isn't the problem as much as it is finding a nice girl who appreciates those qualities. It's shame so many men are running around feeling bad about being nice. Only in the media-driven 21st century, folks.

 

[Cosmophylla]

"Nice guy" could be quite a general term or could be specific to an individual. There are some values I think are general "nice guy" qualities, but there are further values that are particularly important to me but that may be irrelevant to other women.

If you are asking my opinion on those values and traits that make one person a nice guy who would pique (and subsequently hold) my romantic interest, then here are some of my criteria:

- Tactful honesty... That is, being honest in all regards but having enough tact to speak the truth without hurting others. Being diplomatic about things that may be hard to hear. Being considerate. This is tied in with intelligence, I think.

- Openness and trust within romantic relationships. Not afraid to discuss his emotions. Doesn't hide stuff. Trusts me with his fears and hopes.

- Faithfulness. Cheating is not ok. Ever.

- Courteousness/Politeness. Consideration. Related to faithfulness, I think.

- Keeps his hands to himself until he has the green light. Doesn't pressure for sex, because he is intelligent enough to know that will get him nowhere fast.

- Respectful, and listens without interruption. Is actually interested in what I have to say. Treats all women with respect.

- Trustworthiness. Doesn't go back on his word.

- Is not addicted to anything. Well, being addicted to gardening would be OK.

- Can admit his mistakes and isn't afraid to apologise.

- Is interested in making the world a better place for future generations.

 

[Cali Cat]

Cosmophylla Thank you for sharing your opinion in detail.

It occurs to me that men may need a greater explanation of some of the wording women use when we describe the term "nice." Perhaps this post will shed greater light on what we as women mean.

 

[QuestorThews]

The "not a sociopath" thing is key!

This cuts off 80% of guys

 

[Catlover614]

Nice guys are far and few between nowadays. And if/when you finally have one,hold onto them and never let them go. In my opinion, a nice guy is one who puts your needs above his. A nice guy doesn't go around always trying to "one up" you. A nice guy goes the extra mile to show his interest in your life. A nice guy loves you genuinely, regardless of outward circumstances. A nice guy doesn't base his love on sex. He is compassionate, loyal, thoughtful and protective. A nice guy cares about you and your well being and expresses his appreciation of your effort in the relationship. A nice guy shows respect to others. For me, it's not about vanity...looks and money; it's about the heart.

 

[Nitro]

- Is not addicted to anything. Well, being addicted to gardening would be OK.

There is no known rehab for a mechanical junkie,so I guess I'm out of your picture

My garden is just another challenge to make things grow