I tend to be an all-or-nothing person, and I tend to present as a blank slate because I've been taught again, and again, and again, and again, that when I'm happy, I'm a faggot, and when I'm not happy, I'm a downer and a bad vibe. At a certain point, you have to be stronger than people's nonsense, and let self-acceptance take precedent.
Are you saying that when you express any sort of strong feeling people tend to react negatively toward you?