Steelbookcollector217
Well-Known Member
yeah, reminds me of a pattern on the famous TV series titled Love on the Spectrum. Yeah, i have always resented courtship and always will until the day i die.
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Make friends as a adult. Keeping them impossible.
- Thread starter Tony Ramirez
- Start date
I will never watch that damn show it will anger me too much. I have so much resentment and anger towards women now I can't mention the things here without getting in trouble.
I lost a number of Friends, from passing. a lot of so called friends were actually acquaintance, found this out quickly after retirement, why I joined this site Even my extraversion is coming out this only came out at work with the suppliers at work they loved chatting with me no small talk just business. I solved the issues why they came in. chemists not familiar with engineering. My managers saw me as the quiet guy they had no idea of the level of my expertise the supplier reps., did they preferred speaking to me first. See my avatar sat on my computer during my tenure it was well respected.
Is that show kind or is it a freak show?
That is quite an interesting observation. Some men will impersonate the attitude of those women. This technique is seen in the natural world where sneaky beta males will use mimicry to gain access to a female harem, as a lower cost, alternative mating strategy. Beware.
More fool those men. I personally wouldn't accept a hateful person, no matter how righteous, it's too much of a drain.
That attitude shift came after a number of negative experiences. I was willing to overlook some quite bizarre comments about men if they were an interesting person overall.
However every clunky comment made me withdraw from them bit by bit until id had enough. The debt of goodwill became too much to payoff and the friendships were terminated.
Now I'd rather associate with people who see me as more than a demographic category. At the very least, they should have the courtesy to take mind of the company they're in.
Now I would think the counter argument to your proposition would be: some misogynistic men get interest from some, probably lower value, women but they usually have other qualities to compensate their bad attitude. A stereotypical incel has no chance.
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I was such a nice person those mostly 5 years but especially this year constantly only women in relationships talking to me, men and married women befriended me and women there ostracizing me to the boiling point at that Roots Cafe what that horrible place did too me for 6 months yes a sham plug I am no longer a nice person. I just snapped. Everyone says it's my fault but I just can't take it no more. I never even asked for a GF but just a simple friend.
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You really need therapy as soon as possible. It will help you.
I think, if he really wanted, he would have already founded the therapist, but I'm afraid something stops him. Maybe it's a fear of change of this daily routine he has, or of seeing that what is happening to him is not other people's fault (not fully at least). Sometimes it's hard to get out of the toxic self-destructive pattern, and it seems Tony is stuck in it. I hope one day he'll have enough strength to overcome it and feel better, just like many other people on this forum.
In looking for a friend, you need to be giving to them more than taking from them. If you only take from someone even over a friendship, they will eventually shun you.
You were right all along in this instance. Knowing that you cannot "trauma dump" on people, especially new acquaintances and expect them to stick around. They won't. And that they are likely to warn others in the process to stay away from you when you frequent the same place with the same people. Which appears to be obvious from your own account.
Change your behavior by focusing on giving to others, instead of always taking from them. You might eventually find that people begin to see you in a different light when you stop thinking of only yourself and your problems. In this respect you can start here. Instead of endlessly posting about your own problems, consider addressing the issues of others here. To be a friend to them, to be of help to them in any way you can. To give, rather than take.
For better or worse, the world is full of "givers and takers". But if you should always take without even thinking of giving back, it will always catch up with you, and people will and do ostracize you. And no, it's not easy. However it's still a must if you truly want to remain in the good graces of people in general. To suppress your urge to tell people about yourself emotionally. Stick to simple things like what you might have in common with others.
Learn to give, and try to set aside what you are accustomed to taking from others. And in doing so, you may eventually begin to understand the efforts of so many people here who have tried for years to help you in earnest. Of all people, it is we here who have not shunned you.
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Let's derail another tread by @Tony Ramirez bringing up the dead horses topics like it's all my fault again. That Roots Cafe when I was my lowest messed me up just like college did when I left highschool feeling optimistic.
For anyone why I stayed at that dump for 143 days like I did college for 2 years. I was hoping it would get better until I hit the boiling point to the exact antisocial mess again I am here.
For anyone why I stayed at that dump for 143 days like I did college for 2 years. I was hoping it would get better until I hit the boiling point to the exact antisocial mess again I am here.
It will always be your fault as long as you are unable to think about anyone but yourself.
It's not complicated, and you can change if you are willing.
But you are also bringing up the dead horses topics, which this is why we also write you the same things, in hopes that you'll change something and find the help you need.
It did not start up that way until last week when I was stood up, no ride and ostracized then realized I have no friends. Everyone talks over me. Also I have trauma from that dump cafe.
I hope you'll look at this post by @jsilver256 (Make friends as a adult. Keeping them impossible.) and do something about your PTSD then. Your life can and will be better, when you'll start working on your mental health.
the thread was already derailed with "tfw no gf women suck" posts but when trying to offer help for you, that's bad and off topic?
okay lol.
okay lol.
Where's my only friend here.
Which is why I enjoy the bicycling and canoe clubs I belong to now. Plus, 7 couples we met through the Sierra Club all settled within 30 miles of each other, here. We get together frequently, like yesterday; taking a 3 hour paddling trip on a local river and going afterwards to a good local dive for a late lunch to enjoy ourselves. Probably our last paddle trip this year.
Certainly! A lot comes with the territory, but some of us were successful. I find that more common with guys growing up in the 50s and 60s when autism was rarely diagnosed and no concessions were made for us. We learned to develop our agencies as we had to make our way in the world. That allowed us to create personal goals, and even social goals. It was very difficult at times but we knew we had to persevere to reach our goals. Mine . . . I still live, in a 45 year marriage.
So far these past 2 days everyone I thought ignored me talked and remembered me. It was all along that cafe that made me antisocial. I can actually socialize fine with people.
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