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No Friends or Family

Gordy, traveling is difficult. Trey setting a travel routine before you leave on the trip. Just one thing you do first in the morning and, one in the evening before bed that you can do no matter where you are. It helps to at least start and end the day with a bit of a familiar routine.

When you have to socialize, there is nothing wrong with saying "I need some air." or "I need to lay down for a bit." and stepping out of the social situation for half an hour to an hour.
 
Yes, I try to do that Beverly. I establish a new routine when I get somewhere otherwise it can take me weeks to recover from a holiday!
 
I made friends with another self-diagnosed Aspie, and we got along like a house on fire... until I decided to leave my abusive partner. She said to me "I'm Aspie, I say what I mean. You can talk to me about it any time", then proceeded to send me a letter saying "If my boys lose their mother to suicide, it's all your fault because I can't deal with your problems any more". Her husband then harassed me and called me a slut non-stop and harassed me at school pickup (our kids go to the same school).
I hav ea friend with spina bifida who has been my b est friend since Grade 2, despite us going years without catching up sometimes. I have a good friend who accepts me for me, whose daughter gets along well with mine.

I'm happier just to be left alone though. I don't hold back my words, I don't beat around the bush. Fortunately my partner of almost a year understands that.
 
For traveling, try to aim for countries that are English speaking and pre-set tours so that you don't have to worry about figuring out as much. Developed countries are more expensive, but easier to enjoy, and you're less likely to get sick too!
 
Loneliness is epidemic and I have been lonely much of my life. I had a twin but wanted to be dating and never did, I became jealous of Dean (NT). I escaped in my hobby. Kirsty has her painting. I say this again that the school system administrators who are supposed to prepare us for life have fallen. School and life are so much more stressful than during my youth. Shool personnel have to spend one afternnon a week immersed with their students in the hobby (ies) of their choosing. This is so important and I am going to say it again, I am sure.
 
Judge said:
Guilty as charged. Not one person locally (in R/L) I could call a "friend". I tried associating with a local hobby group for about four years, but came to the conclusion it was socially meaningless to me. I'd show up, but even when I interacted with other members I still felt detached from all of them. And non of them seemed to reach out to me in any kind of way...making me feel worse about it at times.
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Kirsty said:
So is there anyone else who have no local friends? I find it very hard to start relationships of any kind. When I do, which is rare, they never last long. Usually,
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I have a decent support system, a loving Aunt in FL and a daughter in jersey that says "hey" once in a while...I do not hear from the older son or younger daughter.
I come home to a cat in a secluded area.
I do not have friends IRL that I can do stuff with, I tried meetup. there are often just to many people on the outings, everyone talking etc, I have tried Riding Clubs with my motorcycle..about the same. I am the loner.
I am an Aspie-strike one
I am sober-strike two
I eat very healthy-strike three
I an a Native, a spiritual person and that is strike four
I go out by myself, camping by myself, bike riding by myself, campfires by myself. I would feel uncomfortable with anyone after spending 7 years by myself since moving here to SC. When I return to jersey and New York and PA, I have friends to hang with, but not here in the south (SC)
I spend time by myself.....I am long over being lonely.....
 
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Kirsty you remind me of me. No local friends atm. Only people i hang i meet except from job or training, is family. Moved away to a city couple, and kinda hoped that would help on my social skills. But given up on it now. Still like it in the city, cause i can always go for a walk in the city when im bored. After i moved i used to visit an old friend, and ocasioanally meet 2 others of my old friends at his place. But after he died like 1/2 year ago, i don't have much contact with the 2 others. I should probably try to contact them more, but it's easier said then done.

Atleast i have much contact with people at job, and when training martial arts. Martial arts seems to help, since i'm meeting lots of people there. If i ever stop training, i think i'll try to find another hobby where i can connect to people. Worst thing is that i don't have much to talk about at jobs after vacations, cause i usally stay home or visit family. And i never do things i liked earlier, like going to cinema or drinking with friends.
 
I went to a meetup a month ago that I found on meetup.com. It turned out to be a local organization for all kinds of people with mental disabilities, but they had an adult asperger meetup scheduled. I got there and there was the female lead person and mostly guys my age and younger, and one other girl. So the leader lady sort of pushed me together with the other chick, and we exchanged phone numbers, and went to a movie the other day. But I will still go to the meetups. It's kinda nice that it is led by a neurotypical who doesn't hesitate to try to help me connect with others.

Anyway, I kinda wanted a movie buddy for a long time, and I think I have one now. She's pretty cool, but then I tend to like most people with aspergers.
 
Helge said:
Kirsty you remind me of me. No local friends atm. Only people i hang i meet except from job or training, is family. Moved away to a city couple, and kinda hoped that would help on my social skills. But given up on it now. Still like it in the city, cause i can always go for a walk in the city when im bored. After i moved i used to visit an old friend, and ocasioanally meet 2 others of my old friends at his place. But after he died like 1/2 year ago, i don't have much contact with the 2 others. I should probably try to contact them more, but it's easier said then done.

Atleast i have much contact with people at job, and when training martial arts. Martial arts seems to help, since i'm meeting lots of people there. If i ever stop training, i think i'll try to find another hobby where i can connect to people. Worst thing is that i don't have much to talk about at jobs after vacations, cause i usally stay home or visit family. And i never do things i liked earlier, like going to cinema or drinking with friends.
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It's like hell on earth isn't it? But at least I have virtual friends online. I moved away too and also just go into town when I'm bored. :( I know that feeling, it IS easier said than done. It's kinda scary going out our comfort zones to make acquaintances. When I do, they don't last so what's the point? I know i'll crack this someday. Takes a lot of effort to get results.
 
Kirsty said:
Thank you, Kestrel. I do love lilies of any colour. They're my fave! Have recently painted this. Not sure what type of flower it is. Was out at the local botanics recently and seen these. I discovered I wrote down the wrong plant name after googling it and couldn't find another sign at the time so don't know what they're called. View attachment 18963
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"I paint flowers as a way of getting as close as possible to what I perceive as the truth, my truth of the time in which I live. This mostly means looking, looking and thinking…" ~ Rory McEwen, 'The Colours of Reality'.
http://www.spectator.co.uk/books/95...nd-among-the-greatest-of-all-flower-painters/
 
Kirsty said:
It's like hell on earth isn't it? But at least I have virtual friends online. I moved away too and also just go into town when I'm bored. :( I know that feeling, it IS easier said than done. It's kinda scary going out our comfort zones to make acquaintances. When I do, they don't last so what's the point? I know i'll crack this someday. Takes a lot of effort to get results.
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I quote every single word of your comment. So true!
 
QuestorThews I'm no guru or teacher. I'm as fallible as anyone else. I just accept who and what I am and, make the best of what "The Powers That Be" gave me when they created me. I learned to like myself as I am without ignoring the things I don't like about myself and, I learned to change what I don't like that I am able to change and, accept the things I can't change about myself.

In short, I learned to be my own best friend and, since I am the only person in the world that has to live with me, everyone else gets a choice, That made life a lot better.
 
I have no friends or family. This is a very big issue for me. When I call helplines in the worst loneliness, it's always the same: "Are you sure you don't have any family?" They make me feel like I'm just being sulky and refusing to speak to my relatives. But I have none.

I have a couple of acquaintances that I don't see much, because the relationships won't take any more than that. I have tried joining groups but I can't socialize. I can get on with say one person, once in a blue moon, but I can't do that thing of chit-chat about soaps and the weather. I just do not have it in me. Just being in a room with strangers makes me feel lonely and worthless. Sorry to be so depressing.

I am clinically depressed. I am trying to get help for it.

I've tried all the things people always suggest. This is just how my life is.
 
Huytongirl said:
have a couple of acquaintances that I don't see much, because the relationships won't take any more than that. I have tried joining groups but I can't socialize. I can get on with say one person, once in a blue moon, but I can't do that thing of chit-chat about soaps and the weather. I just do not have it in me. Just being in a room with strangers makes me feel lonely and worthless. Sorry to be so depressing.
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I relate to this so much. You're not the only one.
 
Kirsty said:
So is there anyone else who have no local friends? I find it very hard to start relationships of any kind. When I do, which is rare, they never last long. Usually, people leave me. I don't mind being alone, but it hurts to be rejected in any form or fashion. I like to have the time to myself, but can only see the world through one perspective and can get lost inside my own head/thoughts. A hug now and again would probably do me the world of good, but any physical human contact for a long period of time can make me feel uncomfortable just because I'm not used to it. I have come back to this forum as a place of support; to vent things out. It's better than keeping things in. I'm generally a happy and strong person, but it sucks at times doing everything alone. I do a lot alone. I go out and enjoy nature (not so much at this time of year because of hayfever lol), sometimes I'll take with me my portable easel and chair so I can paint the flowers in public, go out for a Starbucks or something. Shopping doesn't really excite me, just adds stress with town being busy full of couples, etc, and me wondering about usually aimlessly trying to fill in that void of being lonely. There are many things to do to make me happy, but there comes a point when it's just too much being alone. I'm not ready for having an intimate relationship until I have worked on myself and own happiness/peace. I don't get on with my family so I have chosen to distance myself from them as much as I can for my own sanity.
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Kirsty said:
So is there anyone else who have no local friends? I find it very hard to start relationships of any kind. When I do, which is rare, they never last long. Usually, people leave me. I don't mind being alone, but it hurts to be rejected in any form or fashion. I like to have the time to myself, but can only see the world through one perspective and can get lost inside my own head/thoughts. A hug now and again would probably do me the world of good, but any physical human contact for a long period of time can make me feel uncomfortable just because I'm not used to it. I have come back to this forum as a place of support; to vent things out. It's better than keeping things in. I'm generally a happy and strong person, but it sucks at times doing everything alone. I do a lot alone. I go out and enjoy nature (not so much at this time of year because of hayfever lol), sometimes I'll take with me my portable easel and chair so I can paint the flowers in public, go out for a Starbucks or something. Shopping doesn't really excite me, just adds stress with town being busy full of couples, etc, and me wondering about usually aimlessly trying to fill in that void of being lonely. There are many things to do to make me happy, but there
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I am in the same boat. The friends I have had in the past just kind of happened without me really trying. It's really hard for me too.
 
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