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Post something Weird or Random
- Thread starter IContainMultitudes
- Start date
No worries, you come across as such a sweet and big-hearted person, and I totally get what it's like to feel really nervous in a new situation and feel like you're annoying everyone. It happens to me all the time.Ok, full disclosure now I see what I've written in reply to you - I have major anxieties about things like posting stuff that's not 'normal' comms (e.g. personal stuff) - e.g. am I doing this too much, am I reply to frequently, am I just being boring, am I making people feel bad, am I... am I... am I...
Is this rhyme too strong? Have I explained something badly, and on, and on...
It's nothing to do with my personal attitudes and perception of my self, etc etc. It's my brain throwing every possibility it can think of, without respite, until an option is found that's as close to correct as can be determined.
It's not conscious thought, it comes into my conscious thought. maybe this is common, I wouldn't be surprised, but it makes communicating a constant stress. I have issues with length as well, as you'll likely have noticed, I can churn out endless reams of stuff, in fact find it exceptionally hard not to even when aware of it! Just desperately trying to make it understood, while making that more and more unlikely the more I add! (My name is Boogs, Irony Boogs ...!)
Anyway, the thought of being proactive instead of reactive, is a struggle. I jumped in to the forums here, answering others willy nilly from the moment I found this place, but couldn't post an intro about myself!
Most of my posts could probably also be described as "stream of consciousness" lol
I really enjoy your posts, you are definitely unique
No no no! See? there we go, I never meant that at all, or in fact any sort of criticism of any type to any person (knowingly)!Don't worry, I wasn't picking your stuff apart
Except ...
[drum roll, mystro ...]
Me!
And if you're the most boring guy alive, and you can come up with those rhymes, then can I enrol on your "Boredom for All" courses? I've already done a foundation course and am ready to transfer!
Well, duh! Wild animals don't move to the city for the shopping. I heard that a Coyote wandered through the UBC campus, and wound up $17,000 in debt.
A dinosaur playground for dogs is an amazing invention. It even has a moat!
It's like a Buddhist doghouse shaped like dinosaurs.
TL-DR!?No worries, you come across as such a sweet and big-hearted person, and I totally get what it's like to feel really nervous in a new situation and feel like you're annoying everyone. It happens to me all the time.
Most of my posts could probably also be described as "stream of consciousness" lol
I really enjoy your posts, you are definitely unique
So sorry, it's a horrible thing to look at! But I only see that when finished! "To post, or not to post! That, is the question!"
That's so sweet! (meant in a genuinely nice way! Not a sideways dig!), and I appreciate your saying so, thank you! It may seem small, and shouldn't be over-used else dilution effects it, but it's sometimes the smallest little comment that cuts through the ice?
(actually, compliments are rather nice! feel free to give another when your new compliment-period starts, and your renewed stock of applicable compliment points are refreshed again! It's heart warming to know you felt I was worth using one up!). One of the little things about problems forming relationships, of all sorts, is that genuinely felt and expressed compliments come few and far between. Our society currently has little room for this sort of thing, so it's reserved for only those closest to us, in general.
I suspect you can guess the more common reactions, out in the world, at reading even the toned down stuff I churn out like a glutton overdosing on emetics!
And maybe understand why i have a big thing about understanding comms, issues of unspoken contexts, plus the fact normal people lie to each other unconsciously just to maintain a social cohesion and structure. I doubt we could maintain such large communities, of which we've had no time to evolve into, without these aspects of our communications. If we were all truthful all the time, we'd be beating each other to a pulp in the streets, rather than say "good mornin'!". And that's all ok, in it's way, or at least, that's just how it is, from, my perspective anyway (oh heck, I'm splurging my comments out again! and working from the middle of this post now!
)
Anyone who said an essay has a start, middle, and ending, didn't see my writing!
As I write, and think further on this right now - maybe what I'm doing is showing my desperation to break through to someone else, to carry across an understanding (that I 'know' I understand, if that makes sense) which I so often fail at doing fully, if at all (often stuff in between the lines, and similar, that rarely shows to anyone without my context to apply to it). And I can't stop because I feel there's so much more important context, without which my full meaning just couldn't possible carry across. every new line potentially adds another aspect to what's in consideration, which the mind then insists on being defined, explained, for the reader (for me really, my urge/need to feel someone has understood the core message).
(and I've mentioned how the more i do this, the more it makes it even worse for someone else to understand!).
We are all definitely unique! Only since learning my own condition (as a specific definition which I could work from, rather than an amorphous "I'm broken!"), have I really started to come out of my shell with others (two years back, I'd never of had the confidence to even register, would have just lurked like so many others, reading, but never connecting at all, fearing to even make myself know by signing up, comms issues regardless!), so I now have found/discovered this and having pulled out that blockage in my mind, a lifetimes outpourings have flooded to the fore! I can sit down at the k/board and just take or be given (more likely) a topic, any topic relevant to subjects I've studied (self taught mostly, educationally subnormal, of course! But also, only of my interests, or supporting my interests) for decades, and all that stored up now gets processed with intense pattern matching, beyond my control, but it throws all kinds of revelations at me (even some useful one's! ), often a whole bunch streaming out at the same time almost, especially when I lock onto a subject I find particularly interesting and relevant at the time. So on top of my problems with verbiage (sorry (I love words! can't stop using different one's! ) long posts I mean) - now I'm worrying about patronising you by explaining the meaning of verbiage, when you probably know anyway, and can look it up as well as I could, sheesh! nature of the beast, y'know?!
(but I also find so many people who don't seem to relish words, and use the minimum they can get away with (or so it seems, at least).
But the point I started with and rapidly lost track of here, uniqueness - I think there are so many here unique, and probably more artful and imaginative than I (I'm very locked into logical patterns and progressions, but have little facility to turn that into an external representation, whatever the media - e.g. like the rhyming, one of the few handles I have on turning words into some kind of personal expression, while maintaining some sort of boundaries and structure).
If anything though, words would be it, having nothing else inside, quite literally. I understand a lot of people can hear the words of their thoughts (those that think in words at all), sometimes in their voice, sometimes in other peoples voices (I think this is also part of the root of 'hearing voices' for many who experience that).
Some also see words as well, or instead, in their minds eye. And some, see nothing at all, just 'experience' words as they form and go in the mind, like words in a 'live' conversation (the flow of) as soon as spoken are gone, but experienced more like the knowledge your mind presents when it, for example, recognises a face you know, you're just suddenly aware that this is "so-and-so", but not how you're aware of that! (well I assume so, but now I know just how widely people's experiences or perceptions (better word) can differ from each other, while at the same time, most of them will very strongly believe the opposite, at least for the other people that like, or respect, or have some powerful position effecting their life. I went though 60-odd years not realising just how different most other people think, and not until I saw a description of my condition, and the bells went a ringing.
My assumption was, despite what with hindsight seems like abundant evidence against it (ah, those cognitive biases!), that when someone talked about visualising something, it was a metaphorical statement, not literal!
It was frankly a shock to realise this was most certainly not the case! And yet I'm not stupid, if poorly educated (in a traditional sense at least), and it seems to me I should have been able to work this out from the clues?
But this is partly the nature of our minds, and how we expect them to be rational, when the truth is, they are perfect engines of disinformation and bias, etc! So perfect they can lie to us with aplomb and we don't see it at all! I could go into the more technical aspects, and examples of, of why evolution doesn't mean giving an organism the ability tosee perceive objectively! in fact, it's a disadvantage in terms of survival ability! Much as that may seem unintuitive! But I've written too much here already by far! Maybe another time if anyone is ever interested in discussing.
(another example - the brain now wants to start a whole new (if related) topic here, and explain it in full, just to make sure one tiny little point I've made is fully understood by all!
I should have been a Monty Python script writer maybe?
Where was I? Verbiage problems - yes, I recall the deep distant past (a paragraph or three above)! On top of those voluminously self defeating posts I'm often compelled to write, I can't stop the brain insisting that there's another important point I've just got to squeeze in, otherwise no-one will understand any of my message!!! (and again, I'm quite sure this is common, even with some of us who are not precisely defined as atypical (I think so called normal people are also on the same spectrum, they just have less intense, and less numerous symptoms (or what we called symptoms but are really just criteria. If we, as atypicals (I really don't like this categorisation, but needs must for understanding's sake)
I sometimes feel that the cruellest thing of all, is that cold hard knowledge of what I'm doing, and even (mostly these days, after a lifetime of self-therapy) why! But although self knowledge is indeed probably the greatest 'master key' to unlocking (at least) my own mind (and self-diagnosis made a massive difference to that!)
Oh yes, FYI: if I seem to suddenly say something opposite to what I seemed to be saying, it's because I wrote "blah blah can blah blah" when I meant to write "blah blah can't blah blah"!!!
I do this often, unconsciously, but it can't just be typos, as it's so common, and always the exact opposite of what I was trying to say!
That's so sweet! (meant in a genuinely nice way! Not a sideways dig!
), and I appreciate your saying so, thank you! It may seem small, and shouldn't be over-used else dilution effects it, but it's sometimes the smallest little comment that cuts through the ice?(actually, compliments are rather nice! feel free to give another when your new compliment-period starts, and your renewed stock of applicable compliment points are refreshed again!
It's heart warming to know you felt I was worth using one up!). One of the little things about problems forming relationships, of all sorts, is that genuinely felt and expressed compliments come few and far between. Our society currently has little room for this sort of thing, so it's reserved for only those closest to us, in general.I suspect you can guess the more common reactions, out in the world, at reading even the toned down stuff I churn out like a glutton overdosing on emetics!
And maybe understand why i have a big thing about understanding comms, issues of unspoken contexts, plus the fact normal people lie to each other unconsciously just to maintain a social cohesion and structure. I doubt we could maintain such large communities, of which we've had no time to evolve into, without these aspects of our communications. If we were all truthful all the time, we'd be beating each other to a pulp in the streets, rather than say "good mornin'!". And that's all ok, in it's way, or at least, that's just how it is, from, my perspective anyway (oh heck, I'm splurging my comments out again! and working from the middle of this post now!
)Anyone who said an essay has a start, middle, and ending, didn't see my writing!
As I write, and think further on this right now - maybe what I'm doing is showing my desperation to break through to someone else, to carry across an understanding (that I 'know' I understand, if that makes sense) which I so often fail at doing fully, if at all (often stuff in between the lines, and similar, that rarely shows to anyone without my context to apply to it). And I can't stop because I feel there's so much more important context, without which my full meaning just couldn't possible carry across. every new line potentially adds another aspect to what's in consideration, which the mind then insists on being defined, explained, for the reader (for me really, my urge/need to feel someone has understood the core message).
(and I've mentioned how the more i do this, the more it makes it even worse for someone else to understand!).
We are all definitely unique! Only since learning my own condition (as a specific definition which I could work from, rather than an amorphous "I'm broken!"), have I really started to come out of my shell with others (two years back, I'd never of had the confidence to even register, would have just lurked like so many others, reading, but never connecting at all, fearing to even make myself know by signing up, comms issues regardless!), so I now have found/discovered this and having pulled out that blockage in my mind, a lifetimes outpourings have flooded to the fore! I can sit down at the k/board and just take or be given (more likely) a topic, any topic relevant to subjects I've studied (self taught mostly, educationally subnormal, of course! But also, only of my interests, or supporting my interests) for decades, and all that stored up now gets processed with intense pattern matching, beyond my control, but it throws all kinds of revelations at me (even some useful one's!
), often a whole bunch streaming out at the same time almost, especially when I lock onto a subject I find particularly interesting and relevant at the time. So on top of my problems with verbiage (sorry (I love words! can't stop using different one's! ) long posts I mean) - now I'm worrying about patronising you by explaining the meaning of verbiage, when you probably know anyway, and can look it up as well as I could, sheesh! nature of the beast, y'know?!(but I also find so many people who don't seem to relish words, and use the minimum they can get away with (or so it seems, at least).
But the point I started with and rapidly lost track of here, uniqueness - I think there are so many here unique, and probably more artful and imaginative than I (I'm very locked into logical patterns and progressions, but have little facility to turn that into an external representation, whatever the media - e.g. like the rhyming, one of the few handles I have on turning words into some kind of personal expression, while maintaining some sort of boundaries and structure).
If anything though, words would be it, having nothing else inside, quite literally. I understand a lot of people can hear the words of their thoughts (those that think in words at all), sometimes in their voice, sometimes in other peoples voices (I think this is also part of the root of 'hearing voices' for many who experience that).
Some also see words as well, or instead, in their minds eye. And some, see nothing at all, just 'experience' words as they form and go in the mind, like words in a 'live' conversation (the flow of) as soon as spoken are gone, but experienced more like the knowledge your mind presents when it, for example, recognises a face you know, you're just suddenly aware that this is "so-and-so", but not how you're aware of that! (well I assume so, but now I know just how widely people's experiences or perceptions (better word) can differ from each other, while at the same time, most of them will very strongly believe the opposite, at least for the other people that like, or respect, or have some powerful position effecting their life. I went though 60-odd years not realising just how different most other people think, and not until I saw a description of my condition, and the bells went a ringing.
My assumption was, despite what with hindsight seems like abundant evidence against it (ah, those cognitive biases!), that when someone talked about visualising something, it was a metaphorical statement, not literal!
It was frankly a shock to realise this was most certainly not the case! And yet I'm not stupid, if poorly educated (in a traditional sense at least), and it seems to me I should have been able to work this out from the clues?
But this is partly the nature of our minds, and how we expect them to be rational, when the truth is, they are perfect engines of disinformation and bias, etc! So perfect they can lie to us with aplomb and we don't see it at all! I could go into the more technical aspects, and examples of, of why evolution doesn't mean giving an organism the ability to
(another example - the brain now wants to start a whole new (if related) topic here, and explain it in full, just to make sure one tiny little point I've made is fully understood by all!
I should have been a Monty Python script writer maybe?
Where was I? Verbiage problems - yes, I recall the deep distant past (a paragraph or three above)! On top of those voluminously self defeating posts I'm often compelled to write, I can't stop the brain insisting that there's another important point I've just got to squeeze in, otherwise no-one will understand any of my message!!! (and again, I'm quite sure this is common, even with some of us who are not precisely defined as atypical (I think so called normal people are also on the same spectrum, they just have less intense, and less numerous symptoms (or what we called symptoms but are really just criteria. If we, as atypicals (I really don't like this categorisation, but needs must for understanding's sake)
I sometimes feel that the cruellest thing of all, is that cold hard knowledge of what I'm doing, and even (mostly these days, after a lifetime of self-therapy) why! But although self knowledge is indeed probably the greatest 'master key' to unlocking (at least) my own mind (and self-diagnosis made a massive difference to that!
)Oh yes, FYI: if I seem to suddenly say something opposite to what I seemed to be saying, it's because I wrote "blah blah can blah blah" when I meant to write "blah blah can't blah blah"!!!
I do this often, unconsciously, but it can't just be typos, as it's so common, and always the exact opposite of what I was trying to say!
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