Problem with noise from autistic neighbour

[the_tortoise]

He laughs like this also during day sometimes so I really don't believe he's doing it in his sleep.

Why would you think a person would laugh any differently while asleep than while awake? I would imagine the laughter of someone sleepwalking would be the same as their laughter when awake.

 

[Autistamatic]

I and I'm quite sure several others, have read your linked article. Many of us have been reading such articles, academic papers and books for decades and, it is sad to say, they only serve to show how little so many researchers actually know about autism. The "experts" in this field are often largely blinkered by their determination to characterise everything we do as a deficit, even the positives.

autist would be less likely to lie. After all, lying is a social skill.

Many Autistics possess highly developed social skills, we just find it exhausting to use them and prefer not to. There are Autists all around you that you aren't aware of. We number somewhere between 1.5-3% of the population, so maybe as many as 1 in 30 of the people you meet in everyday life are autistic and you would never know. Many of the members of this forum are not publicly open about their autism. My first wife never even knew I was autistic. We are everywhere, and the only people who know we are autistic are ourselves and our closest confidantes.

Picture a Frenchman going to Spain for the first time, walking into a bar and telling Spaniards all about themselves based on a few articles they'd read? Would the Spaniards kindly try to redirect and educate the Frenchman about his misunderstandings? Even when his opinions he presented as facts were highly insulting? We have tried to do that for you.

To suggest that you even have the tiniest fraction of our understanding of the qualities that separate us is, quite frankly, absurd. I am not judging you for it, but I'm sure you can understand why we do not like to be misrepresented.

I assure you we are all of us self aware, many of us painfully so. We have spent so long analysing ourselves and our interactions, have examined our eidetic memories of past events so many times, that little else would be possible. Wherever you gained the knowledge you claim to have about autism, I strongly suggest you put it to one side and learn afresh from the only people who really know autism - autistic people.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Why would you think a person would laugh any differently while asleep than while awake?

Dream people have better jokes.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Would the Spaniards kindly try to redirect and educate the Frenchman about his misunderstandings?

But the Frenchman would

Shout out to all lovers of stereotypes everywhere

 

[Kat_1234567890]

Ok, now I really had enough.
If you're so offended by any non-autist claiming any knowledge of your precious disorder or that I'm so undeserving of your esoteric knowledge than you really have a problem.
Everybody's an idiot, only you're a [deleted] aeroplane.
I'm not gonna read or write anything here anymore, my profile will hopefully be deleted soon.

 

[tree]

@Kat_1234567890

General Rules & Guidelines

You may find the above link to be informative.
I direct your attention to Member Accounts
particularly, #5.

 

[Autistamatic]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for watching today's dramatic presentation illustrating why so many autistic people are afraid to be open about their autism.

 

[Tom]

Did he seem to be lying, in your estimation? Are you a good judge of liars? You said he seemed to be in genuine disbelief.

I know you're positive, but Occam's razor suggests the noise is from another source.
All of Autistimatic's suggestions are plausible, excellent considerations.
But I find it hard to not think, especially when rereading the OP, that there's been some geographical misunderstanding and the wrong person received the note.

You know I have often heard of Occam's razor but until just the other day did not know what it was (other then from context probably a deduction theory). It was used in a Sci-fi series I was watching and I said 'thats it, I'm gonna finally look it up'. And earlier reading the OPs thesis, I had just the same thought. So I thought it not inappropriate to remember the man himself, straight outta the middle ages, The Razor of Avignon, Willam of Occam!

 

[Tom]

The Curious Incident of the Laughing Autist in the Night-Time

Too bad, I guess we'll never find out what happened. Ironic that the one person who might have solved it...

...was probably an Aspie.

 

[tducey]

Yeah, I think you have every right to have a peaceful living arrangement. Talk things over with him or people close to him about it. Good luck in getting it figured out.

 

[GadAbout]

Ok, I'm quitting.
Sorry for having the tenacity for asking a question (!!!!) in a public forum. And expecting an ANSWER??! As if THIS was a point of asking questions???!!
How have a dared.... deepest apologies to everybody. Enjoy your echo chamber.

Lady, we don't owe you anything. Your respondents were merely trying to be helpful. I hope you aren't planning on future use of this forum, as you have created a pretty negative impression already.

 

[Kirsty]

I'm not gonna read or write anything here anymore, my profile will hopefully be deleted soon.

Lol! Of course you’ll check back in and read everything and not let on that you have.

 

[Pats]

Ok, I'm quitting.
Sorry for having the tenacity for asking a question (!!!!) in a public forum. And expecting an ANSWER??! As if THIS was a point of asking questions???!!
How have a dared.... deepest apologies to everybody. Enjoy your echo chamber.

Hi Kat - I did try to answer your specific questions by saying he might not be aware of the noises. Seems like you are wanting something more specific than we can give you.
If it's that bad - MOVE

 

[Pats]

Wow! I was still on page one when I wrote my last comment. Seems I HAD mentioned the possibility of sleepwalking and sleep laughing. Also suggested the possibility of it being a haunting. Can't one of us just go and see what's going on?

 

[Pats]

And I actually hate that I missed this entertaining thread today. Spent the day trying to mess with a new cell phone and see what carrier it might be compatible with and having to chat with irritating people, so I would have been in the right mood for something like this. lol

 

[tree]

Who knows?
Maybe OP suffers from a unique variation on Exploding Head Syndrome
and the guy upstairs isn't making any noise at all.
Exploding Head Syndrome: Symptoms, Causes, Treatment Options
https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/exploding-head-syndrome#1
Exploding Head Syndrome - Overview and Facts

 

[Pats]

Who knows?
Maybe OP suffers from a unique variation on Exploding Head Syndrome
and the guy upstairs isn't making any noise at all.
Exploding Head Syndrome: Symptoms, Causes, Treatment Options
https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/exploding-head-syndrome#1
Exploding Head Syndrome - Overview and Facts

Naw - I think it's a ghost making all the noise. lol

 

[Xerces Blue]

The first thing that came to mind when reading your post was sleep walking, my younger brother sleep walks and when he does he also talks.
He's completely unaware when this happens.
If sound is keeping you awake i would suggest using a white noise recording that you can get used too in order to drown it out.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

Hi Kat,
I thought of a horror story when reading your post

You're so kind (too kind?) that you tried to keep up & even gave a (warning) letter.
He's also courageous to go to see you. I think your letter helped.

Below are just my speculation:

IF he's not really having sleepwalking or whatever problem:
yes, it might be possible that he was in denial, because of

• embarrassment (so he might accidentally blurted it out),
• he didn't aware that the noise was too loud - he was still thinking about it maybe,
• and tried to 'negotiate' with you but he couldn't find proper sentences maybe,
• or he couldn't answer you in 'real-time speed', so he tried to make you believe him..

.. so that's why it sounds so absurd maybe.

But then maybe he realized that it's not ok, and tried to make you not angry with him anymore. So he apologized (?) for the noise. Maybe you've wanted him to apologize for being in denial or lying to you,

but maybe he didn't lie,
or if you think he was lying,

• maybe he doesn't aware that the noise was too loud for you,
• and maybe he was still 'processing'/thinking about the noise or what happened,
  
• maybe he was trying his best in talking with you;

with all these 'processing', these maybe made him didn't aware that he needs to apologize to you for lying; or even didn't aware that his denial looked so absurd, maybe. He may realize later, but missed the timing already, so maybe he doesn't know when to apologize, thus ended up not apologizing.

But maybe he already SHOWED to you his apology with that snickers. Maybe he speaks less but shows to you through his actions.

So yeah MAYBE he was in denial (because of embarrassment or lack of social skills or processing speed or whatever) and maybe he was lack of self-awareness in some parts. MAYBE. I might be really wrong though.
Or maybe it's just language barrier problem or some misunderstanding or whatever..

Dunno if this the answer that you want.

And I think it's ok to set your boundaries and be strict to people around you, with respect. It's tough dealing with situation where the other party might be lying to you or maybe not, and you still need to protect yourself.. I think no need to feel guilty too much since you've handled it well and politely/with respect.

Anyway, hope your problem solved gradually (maybe he needs to put more fluffy carpets for the walking noise. for the laughter, dunno). Hope you wont grind him (and yourself) too much, because of the poor experience you had here.

Dunno why you think your account will be deleted. Your posts sounded a bit rough, but the lack of sleep will make people angrier than usual.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

Hello!

And then of course, can I do something now, after this exchange? I don't want him to feel intimidated or something but would like these noises to stop.
Have I done something wrong and can I correct it? What do you advice generally?

(And thanks to everybody who read all of above, I like to be specific and well... also like to write so it mostly comes out looooooooooooooooooooong.)

..Maybe just continue to communicate kindly? Your letter method was good I think. Straightforward but kind and with respect perhaps. But if he still continues, be strict but with respect/kindness perhaps.