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Reasons why I can’t let go of wanting a relationship

Judge said:
The biggest issue I ever encountered about taking risks wasn't the risk itself, but always my ability and resolve to take a risk. -Any risks.

So many things we may cherish depend on our ability to measure what is gained over what may be lost in the process. And yet to still be willing to try. That's life!
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To tie in with the topic of the thread (as well as the topic of risk-taking), it can be hard for me to justify the risk of doing an askout in the first place, seeing as:

1. I have a track record of getting rejected the vast majority of the time.

2. Even when I initially am allowed to get my foot in the door with a partner, they generally lose interest quickly.

So why bother doing an askout, when I'm probably going to get rejected anyway (and even if I don't get rejected, we likely won't last long)?
 
FeatherBird said:
So why bother doing an askout, when I'm probably going to get rejected anyway (and even if I don't get rejected, we likely won't last long)?
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- Perseverance. A test of one's character.

"Persisting in a course of action, steadfast, to persist in a course of action or an attitude in spite of opposition, keep on". And if you truly believe you have nothing to gain, you likely have nothing to lose by trying either. It's just a matter of how you look at it.

Otherwise, your best bet logically is to embrace a solitary lifestyle. One built around yourself- alone and detached. Without giving any sense of companionship further thought.

You have options...
 
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Judge said:
- Perseverance. A test of one's character.

"Persisting in a course of action, steadfast, to persist in a course of action or an attitude in spite of opposition, keep on". And if you truly believe you have nothing to gain, you likely have nothing to lose by trying either.
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One could just as easily use the Einstein quote of "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results"
 
FeatherBird said:
One could just as easily use the Einstein quote of "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results"
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I don't think Einstein was addressing emotions in particular when he said that. He was a physicist- not a psychiatrist. And any number of women found him quite charming...much to the chagrin of his wives. ;)

Besides, not all humans relate identically to other fellow humans. That's a major reason never to give up, unless you find solitude superior to loneliness. Yet it never fails to amaze me how some people embrace someone, while others are repelled by them.

Could be yet another element of "Yin and Yang". We're a strange lot in this respect.
 
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FeatherBird said:
One could just as easily use the Einstein quote of "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results"
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One could, but I believe it would be an error,
as it's unlikely that the circumstances would be
identical in the case of social endeavors.

What I am saying is that unless, somehow, the
person asking for a date found a way to freeze
time, it would never be the same moment, the
same situation, or even the same person being
approached.

It's even possible that the *asker* might gain
insight through experience.
 
tree said:
One could, but I believe it would be an error,
as it's unlikely that the circumstances would be
identical in the case of social endeavors.

What I am saying is that unless, somehow, the
person asking for a date found a way to freeze
time, it would never be the same moment, the
same situation, or even the same person being
approached.

It's even possible that the *asker* might gain
insight through experience.
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It is true that every askout takes place under different circumstances.

That being said, when you get rejected the vast majority of the time, it's easy to begin thinking there's something wrong with you.
 
Ronald Zeeman said:
I know you like rock music curious if you like this The more I know the more I can help.

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I don’t know if I’ve heard this song before. I’ll have to listen to it.
Ronald Zeeman said:
Or how about this, my wife loves this ever since I took her to see him in bars 40 years ago.

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Same as above.
Mary Terry said:
Which do you fear the most? Eternal loneliness and hating yourself because of it or the risk that someone will reject you as a friend?
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Definitely eternal loneliness because it feels like my life would’ve been for nothing if I didn’t take any chances. I am also starting to realize how much regret pains me. However, whenever I am rejected, I still feel hurt and I take it very hard. Even when I was a child, I took getting rejected the same way as I still do. It’s rooted in my parents shaming me and my older brother putting me down with his boasts.
 
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I have noticed a lot of women your age like the music from my generation, could be a real plus for you. Do you like AC/DC When my wife and I danced. When their songs came up the dance floor would fill up even younger couples.
Pick up a new hobby learn how to dance. My plan was to take lessons after I retired. The two musicians, both are local to me. The second guy likes to mix blues with 1930's Boggie Woggie. Wife loves his music
 
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Markness said:
I have to make a request through DayForce and see if the supervisor approves of it.
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Okay I see. My work has a similar system.

Do you know the name of your supervisor? Do you have his or her email address? Are you able to send them an email asking them to rearrange your schedule for one day so you can attend the writing group?
 
Ronald Zeeman said:
I have noticed a lot of women your age like the music from my generation, could be a real plus for you. Do you like AC/DC When my wife and I danced. When their songs came up the dance floor would fill up even younger couples.
Pick up a new hobby learn how to dance. My plan was to take lessons after I retired. The two musicians, both are local to me. The second guy likes to mix blues with 1930's Boggie Woggie. Wife loves his music
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Too many years ago, before I had any idea about autism, I decided to take up ballroom dance as a way to improve my social skills. My social skills never did improve (maybe a little), but I did end up with lots of trophies and awards.

Markness, maybe you could try that. As a minimum, it will get you around more people, and you might pick up some useful skills.
 
At least your not sitting at home, beginnings of a plan. My wife and I did the twist at a dance rest of crowd watching us. Probably her more than me.
 
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