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Share good puns and jokes.

Some old jokes get so old that no one around today has heard them, this one might fit in to that category.

The Non-conforming Sparrow.

The little sparrow decided he wasn’t going to fly south for the winter, too much hard work, too much stress. Instead he’d just stay right where he was. But then all the other birds left and he got lonely, the weather turned cold, and food started getting scarce.

Reluctantly the sparrow decided he’d have to fly south after all and he set off, but he’d left it too late. It wasn’t very long before his wings iced up and he plummeted to the earth.

While he was lying there on the cold hard earth a passing cow crapped on him. “Oh no.” thought the sparrow, “What a way to end my life.” but the heat from the cow crap defrosted his wings and warmed his body.

Feeling truly warm and happy for the first time in weeks, the little sparrow began to sing. A passing cat heard the noises, scraped away the cow pat, and ate him.

There’s 3 morals to this story:
Not everyone that craps on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of the crap is your friend.
If you’re warm and happy in a pile of crap keep your mouth shut.
 
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Johnny came home from school one day and told his mother, "The school bully called me a sissy today, but I showed him. I just whacked him over the head with my purse!"

Johnny came home from school one day with a black eye. His mom asked him how he got it, and he said "The bully at school hit me with a paper bag."
"A paper bag gave you a black eye? That's not possible."his mother said.
"It is," said Johnny, "If there's a whole watermelon in it!"

Little Johnny had been warned many times not to play with matches but he wouldn't listen. Finally he ended up burning down the whole living room.
"Just wait until your father gets home!" his mother scolded him.
But Johnny just laughed, because he knew his father had taken the day off, and had been taking a nap on the living room couch.:smilingimp:
 
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