Should I suicide if no-one cares or loves me in life?

[Moomin]

@Moomin I did take the time to read everything you wrote despite me really not wanting to after your opening statement because I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. First I want to say thanks with sharing your personal experiences as well. You don't have to say what you've been through.

Next, I would like to say I am pretty disappointed that you continue to call suicide a cowardly way out. These types of judgments and criticism will only perpetuate someones feelings of worthlessness and who feels suicidal and it's just adding more of a reason and through ostracizing and stigma.

In my opinion you're coming off a bit ignorant and you should know better having similar experiences.

Also ,You don't know anything about my circumstances or my family or what goes on in my life so you should probably not make assumptions if they truly care about me or not. Also people that truly care about you will always be there for you not when it's just convenient for them.

I should know beg5er? The only reason why I’m still here is because I was told that it is cowardly to do it. But heck, what do I know. Maybe one day I’ll stop being a coward and actually just end it all.

Other posters made assumptions. Yet you attack me. And no, I don’t know about your life, just as you don’t know mine. Other than what I choose to detail Not once did I attack you. I didn’t call you anything, I imparted my feelings, my experiences with this stupid dance. I’ve been fighting this since I was twelve. My home life has been abusive both mentally, emotionally and occasional physical because my mother isn’t sound. I struggle like anyone else does with friends and relationships. They also get me down. And sometimes the crushing loneliness make sure sure that I can’t function in the day.

The only thing I directed at you was that family and friends would care. . Sorry for saying that.


I’m future I will not be bothering to post anything Personal like this again.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

Maybe one day I’ll stop being a coward and actually just end it all.

@Moomin Just so you know those are your words so don't try to pin them on me in the future.

You should know better that statement isn't very helpful. But, then again you said it helped you. To most people it doesn't it's a judgment/criticism but whatever.

Also, sorry that you've been through all those things in life and Alot of us understand and we will empathize with the situation.

I'm not sure how you don't think calling suicide cowardly or implying suicidal people are cowardly not an attack though. It seems very insensitive and lacks empathy about the situation. You don't have to understand it but you should be a decent human being to others.

Judging someone on the brink of killing them self is ridiculous and then people like you are dumbfounded as to why it even happened in the first place later but you just added more fuel to the fire.

As I've stated in my post I don't have family or friends and pretty much everyone on this forum knows this if they see any of my posts.

I don't think this situation should stop you posting personal things. This is a place for everyone to share experiences or vent or find support. I mean if you're going to add on more hurt to situations you probably shouldn't post on anyone's threads not just mine.

You didn't see me on your thread calling you a coward or self harming is cowardly because I'd be an asshole if I did that. But,I know there are people that exist that feel that way to because I've heard it about that to.

 

[Moomin]

@Moomin Just so you know those are your words so don't try to pin them on me in the future.

You should know better that statement isn't very helpful. But, then again you said it helped you. To most people it doesn't it's a judgment/criticism but whatever.

Also, sorry that you've been through all those things in life and A lot of us understand and we will empathize with the situation.

I'm not sure how you don't think calling suicide cowardly or implying suicidal people are cowardly not an attack though. It seems very insensitive and lacks empathy about the situation. You don't have to understand it but you should be a decent human being to others.

Judging someone on the brink of killing them self is ridiculous and then people like you are dumbfounded as to why it even happened in the first place later but you just added more fuel to the fire.

As I've stated in my post I don't have family or friends and pretty much everyone on this forum knows this if they see any of my posts.

I don't think this situation should stop you posting personal things. This is a place for everyone to share experiences or vent or find support. I mean if you;re going to add on more hurt to situations you probably should post on anyone's threads not just mine.

You didn't see me on your thread calling you a coward or self harming is cowardly because I'd be an asshole if I did that. But,I know there are people that exist that feel that way to because I've heard it about that to.

Firstly, I did not call you a coward. I called the ACT cowardly because it feels like that for ME! I was putting all my experiences, had been told by a therapist that it was cowardly to do it, as I said personally how my experiences with this has done. That I keep battling this because there has to be something better. Worthwhile. Because otherwise, I can very easily give up. It’s only through my sheer stubbornness that I’m even here still continuing to try to live even when I’m swallowed up by the black pit of depression. But whatever, I’m “insensitive “ and “lack empathy “ and that I should be a decent human being (your words not mine.) —. How does that not construe to a personal attack?

My experiences with suicidal tendencies, acting to do it but not fully succeeding and the self harming are very personal powerfully negative experiences for me. My friend was someone that kept me going, and even she did what she did. She gave up. She gave in when she could have been fighting it. It’s a cowardly act because it’s an easy solution. My friend wasn’t a coward. I’m not calling her that or anybody else, just like I haven’t done at all to you. I haven’t said you’re a coward because you aren’t. The act is, because Suicide is final. An easy solution. It definitely doesn’t feel like one but it’s just giving up. My friend, was on her good days brilliant, warm, she pushed me to do things, she was my icebreaker if I needed it...I thought if anyone was going to make it, it was her because she was stronger than I was. I was weak. I didn’t even have the guts to fully go all the way.. but she chose an act instead that was final. And left her family, friends and community hurt, confused and in my case, lost. Why, am I still here when she was going through similar situations as me but she chose to do that instead of getting further help? Why did she lose hope when she was doing better. Better than I was at the time. It’s just giving up without hope, it’s saying that there is no hope. But obviously people like me just don’t get it...



Obviously not, because I shared something highly personal and instead I get attacked because you took offense to my wording choices...and possibly even what my experiences are. As for my self harming, even that isn’t well received, but thanks for bringing that up.


I definitely will not be posting anything on a forum again. How can it be what you claim it is, when you get attacked for saying something personal? I don’t think I’m right in what I say. I do think that fighting, keeping hope, having that light is worthwhile. To have that makes each day worthwhile to continue on. To hope. To hope that it’ll get better.

It’s sensitive and difficult a topic enough without bringing in personal pain into it. And this has opened very heavily for me.

For the record, I hope you find some good to keep you going. I hope you find new friendships. I hope you find something to battle on. I hope you get the help and support that you need to give you strength to fight these thoughts. There’s always some sort of hope, light, good out there.

 

[Graphin]

I just would never post this kind of thread here.

Good that there are people who tell more than just not to do it.

 

[AloneNotLonely]

Perhaps you don't have any friends because you attack people that try to help you?

Even if they try to help you in a way that hits a nerve, that still doesn't mean it's productive to go all ginger cat on their ass. Moomin was being pretty nice to you, but you had to find a way to get offended about it.

If you don't like being alive, or see no point in it all then you clearly have some brain chemistry issue. I read way too much nihilistic philosophy and I still love every day of my life (it's not like I have friends, lol). You need a psychiatrist and find a way together to get that brain chemistry up and running at normal capacity again.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

Perhaps you don't have any friends because you attack people that try to help you?

Even if they try to help you in a way hits a nerve, that still doesn't mean it's productive to go all ginger cat on their ass. Moomin was being pretty nice to you, but you had to find a way to get offended about it.

If you don't like being alive, or see no point in it all then you clearly have some brain chemistry issue. I read way too much nihilistic philosophy and I still love every day of my life (it's not like I have friends, lol). You need a psychiatrist and find a way together to get that brain chemistry up and running at normal capacity again.

@AloneNotLonely mmmm, well aren't you rainbows and sunshine? do you see the irony of you complaining about someone attacking and yet here you are attacking trying to get me to see your point.

Dude, I'm done with people and their smear campaigns. you can convince yourself that I'm anyway you want me to be. In my opinion calling suicide cowardly was wrong and implying someone suicidal is a coward is wrong. but it's cool man go ahead and release all that hatred on me if it makes you feel better about yourself.

I didn't open this thread with any hostility towards anyone and it doesn't take a genius to know that the comment she made was not only unhelpful to me but it won't be helpful to anyone else looking and reading that might feel the same way.

Frankly, the fact that she admitted her therapist told her that makes me wonder how helpful and credible they are. who shames their patients anyway?

, Best Wishes

 

[Pats]

@dragstone I can accept that not everyone will agree with me or think the same way I do about things or believe the same things I do. But I think loving and not expecting the same in return would actually perpetuate someone thinking it's okay to do anything they want or treat someone anyway they want.

But, maybe we should define specific loves in the future so there's no confusion. For the most part I try to treat others the way I want to be treated. There are times I'm an asshole and do wrong because I'm not perfect and I will always make mistakes.

I guess I just don't understand why you would hate anyone and not do good to those that do good to you. I can understand being very angry about situations and I understand protecting yourself from those who are dangerous to your well-being.

I don't think there's anything wrong with expecting love in return. But then that makes me wonder if I really do love unconditionally and if wanting love back is in fact a condition. But, I thought that's just how it's suppose to go. If you show love to someone one they should show love to you.

You're a beautiful person and I hope you never lose that ability to love. You CAN love unconditionally and you CAN love your enemies. I know exactly what you are saying because I do. Yes, there are a couple people that I can no longer be around and talk to, but it's to protect myself and to protect my family. But it doesn't mean I don't love them. Not everyone is capable of that. Others may think I'm an idiot for the way I think, but that doesn't matter.
I have a hard time making friends - I can know someone for years and still not feel comfortable around them and know they aren't too crazy about me. I can feel love for them and would do anything I could for them, but that's kind of where it ends and I'm okay with that. I know the feeling is not reciprocated and so what.
My favorite cousin was the black sheep of the family. His mom would say she dropped him when he was little. His own family didn't like him OR know him. Everyone talked about him and his faults. He drank and he smoked pot and cigarettes. But I've never seen a bad thought come out of his head. His wife stabbed him and he laughed about it - a sincere laugh. He loved everyone. I used to always say that he was the person that you could go ten years without talking to and call him to ask if he would help move you home from cross country and he'd find a way to do it. I know that because he did it for me. I've never known anyone like him. He passed away a year ago - my age. And this world lost one more rare person. There's so few genuine people in this world and the world needs those few roses in this big garden of weeds. I use roses because there are still a few thorns and you have to be careful when you try to pick them, but worth the effort once you do.

 

[AloneNotLonely]

If the irony is enjoyable then I guess I did my part, no?

 

[guitarandtattoos]

If the irony is enjoyable then I guess I did my part, no?

@AloneNotLonely If you think anything about this thread is enjoyable you might need to be the one seeing a psychiatrist.

 

[SunnyDay16]

To answer your question, no you shouldn't kill yourself. I don't think anyone here would advocate you to do that, but you already know that most likely.

How you're feeling is completely valid, by the way. We're humans and we're social creatures so it's understandable to get frustrated or feel depressed about not having anyone in our lives. It's not about not loving yourself enough, it's about being human. We're not designed to be alone 24/7.

I have to disagree I have unconditionally loved others to get nothing in return.

Unconditional love, at least in my eyes, isn't real for the most part except when it comes to parents and their children. People who love other people love them because they are getting something out of that person. It could be companionship, laughter, sex, trust, support, security, etc. In committed relationships, it's usually a combination of these. If the person isn't getting what they want, they're probably not going to love that person anymore.

Which brings me to my second point, love is an action. To love somebody is to show it through your actions. If two people aren't consistently loving each other, the relationship between them is likely to fall apart.

 

[Pats]

My first 6 years or so as a nurse I worked on the floor that had a variety of everything - general medicine. A tough floor to work on. But one night I came into work and a regular aids patient was back again as a patient and he would be my patient that night. Everyone was upset with him because anyone that even stepped into his room he was cussing them out. Even the doctors were mad and saying they weren't going back in his room. I walked into his room and he started cussing me out and telling me to get out. I didn't go. Instead I sat down next to him and asked what was going on. He had just learned that he was going blind. Sometimes we just need to be there and listen, even if we're treated harshly. That's what he needed that night and I'm glad I was there.
So often, an aids patient would tell me I was the only nurse that seemed willing to even touch them. Can you relate to that? "You're broken, don't come too close". I want to be that one rose that pops up in someone's garden of weeds - and everyone here knows how it feels to have their garden full of weeds with nothing pretty to look at. (not saying I'm pretty by no means. lol)

 

[AloneNotLonely]

@AloneNotLonely If you think anything about this thread is enjoyable you might need to be the one seeing a psychiatrist.

It would take more than a psychiatrist and some pills to fix me. Not that I want to be fixed.

Should I feel miserable, just because you are miserable? You can fix it, but you don't want to. You want to continue feeling miserable and soak up others' attention, and to lash out at those that don't say all the right words.

Someone was being nice to you and you were being an asshole in return. And this is coming from me, one of the biggest assholes out there.

You can continue to get offended about everything or actually appreciate the fact that someone went out of their way to write a wall of text for you genuinely trying to help. You could've chosen to see it as a positive despite it not being 100% compatible with your ideas, but you chose an entirely different route.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

It would take more than a psychiatrist and some pills to fix me. Not that I want to be fixed.

Should I feel miserable, just because you are miserable? You can fix it, but you don't want to. You want to continue feeling miserable and soak up others' attention, and to lash out at those that don't say all the right words.

Someone was being nice to you and you were being an asshole in return. And this is coming from me, one of the biggest assholes out there.

You can continue to get offended about everything or actually appreciate the fact that someone went out of their way to write a wall of text for you genuinely trying to help. You could've chosen to see it as a positive despite it not being 100% compatible with your ideas, but you chose an entirely different route.

@AloneNotLonely Dude, I'm done talking about this with you, now you can continue coming back on my thread to try to stir drama up and beef with me if you want, I don't care. Say whatever you gotta say if it makes you feel better.

I'm pretty baffled at the fact that you have barged in and tried to turn the whole situation into how I am an asshole when she said something that was wrong/harmful to others and I called her out on it.

No-ones asking you to feel miserable and I definitely don't expect anyone to feel miserable because I am. Everyone's situation is different and not everything is an easy fix.

But, you're too ignorant to see anything different than your way.

I'm not soaking up any attention and I don't have a reason to lash out at anybody unlike you on your bandwagon jumping into a thread to spread judgment and criticism.

saying suicide is a cowards way out and selfish is being an asshole. Also, you don't have to inform to me you are an asshole it's pretty obvious by your conduct.

Also, for future reference I will not be responding to you anymore so you can get your last word in so you you can feel like you've won an argument and feel like a man. go ahead bro

 

[Mathalamus]

Alonenotlonely is, however, right. suicide is the cowards way out, and it is a selfish move. theres no way you can convince anyone that you are just "retiring" from life in good order, or that you think your life ran its course. they would never, ever, accept that. they would only see the person as a coward for surrendering to death instead of sticking around to fix it, and hurt everyone around them.

 

[WildCat]

You should probably do yourself a favor by taking a break and not rubbing people the wrong way. More to the point, you really need to take action here with the mention of suicide, and by action I'm not talking about discussing the idea with others and getting upset because you didn't get exactly what you wanted to hear. This thread has information that may be of use to you.

I've also got to ask: why exactly did you create this thread? Time to be honest with yourself and everyone else. Just think about this. You are right - nobody here knows you, what you've went through or can read your mind, but the more you keep responding back, the sooner someone's going to get the picture.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

Alonenotlonely is, however, right. suicide is the cowards way out, and it is a selfish move. theres no way you can convince anyone that you are just "retiring" from life in good order, or that you think your life ran its course. they would never, ever, accept that. they would only see the person as a coward for surrendering to death instead of sticking around to fix it, and hurt everyone around them.

@Mathalamus Again more ignorance, it's like you guys just flock in and don't even read thread history. @AloneNotLonely never said suicide was a cowards way out. He was saying I was asshole for calling a user out for saying it was.

If that is your opinion as well it is what is and I disagree and I'm leaving it at that. If you guys want to circle jerk about how you're right about and I'm not do what you gotta do. All I "know" is that it's an unhelpful comment towards me and is probably to others who feel the same way.

My thread was for the intention to see if maybe someone else feels the same way and what they thought it wasn't for people to be nasty in their comments.

At this point I'm going to be issuing blocks especially to people coming in the thread ignorant. so deal with that.

 

[guitarandtattoos]

You should probably do yourself a favor by taking a break and not rubbing people the wrong way. More to the point, you really need to take action here with the mention of suicide, and by action I'm not talking about discussing the idea with others. This thread has information that may be of use to you.

I've also got to ask: why exactly did you create this thread? Time to be honest with yourself and everyone else. Just think about this. You are right - nobody here knows you, what you've went through or can read your mind, but the more you keep responding, the sooner someone's going to get the picture.

@WildCat I created the thread because of the exact explanation I gave in my post. Nothing else to it.

I'm responding because I'm defending myself against a situation where people are now continuosly wanting to pounce on me for feeling how I feel and then saying I'm wrong at saying that the comment was unhelpful and wrong.

At this point any more criticism that others want to throw at me and are just gonna be ignorant about the dispute are just getting blocked.

 

[Shamar]

Lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I don't have any friends, any family, anyone special. Also, I don't feel entitled to have any friends, family or SO. No-one owes me anything. Also, I love myself in a lot of ways so don't give me the I need to love myself garbage. I really don't see a reason to be alive if everyday is just the same and there is no motivating love factor.

In a word - NO. I've been there. I spent over 20 years waking up every morning trying to think of a reason to not kill myself that day, and almost always failing. I was alone, no friends, family who didn't understand what I was going through and condescending about it You say you do love yourself; that is a good start. What got me out of it was finding a psychiatrist who taught me a form of mental tai chi (that is the only way I can describe it) which gave me an inner strength to keep going and overcome it.

I went on to a career in geology and geophysics (a good career choice for an aspie) where I traveled the world, mapped mineral deposits, discovered new deposits, and developed new instrumentation. The world might not have all this if I had killed myself. You still have the potential to make significant and lasting contributions to the world, but not if you do yourself in.

 

[Mr Allen]

No! Don't top yourself! Life is NOT that bad.

 

[Misery]

Short answer: ye gods, no!

Long answer: As someone who has dealt with depression for a long time, and is about as social as an agitated porcupine, I know what it's like to be alone, and I know what it's like to feel horribly depressed.

But there's also a lot of things I've learned over the years that have helped.

First and foremost: You mention that you have nobody, yeah? But... here's the thing: OF COURSE you wont have anybody if you don't get up, get out there, and meet people. Not that there aren't other options (I'll get to that in a moment) but for the most part... it's up to YOU to make this happen. Friendship doesn't seek you out... that's not how it works. Unfortunately, this is where a lot of us have problems. Many of us on this forum are about as outgoing as bricks, and it's hard for many of us to grasp not only the problem, but the solution. Often, we believe we've seen all possibilities, thought of everything. Generally, we are always wrong about that. Getting past that mentality is very important for this.

Again though, even more important is you getting up and out there. EVEN IF YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE. I cannot stress that enough. Finding friends... REAL friends, not the stupid fake type... is a long process. A LONG process. Everyone seems to have this idea that there's always a quick fix, an easy way to success with stuff like that. But it simply doesn't work that way (unless you get incredibly lucky). Did you go out and fail to find someone? Go out again. Did it 20 times? DO IT AGAIN. Found a friend, but they later turned out to be a jerk? Learn from the experience... learn what to look for in the future, what to be aware of... AND DO IT AGAIN. Seriously, this is pretty much required.

But also, keep in mind the places where you are going for this. Much to my non-stop annoyance, some places just attract jerks like moths to a lamp. Often, this isn't really obvious until you've spent a significant amount of time in such a place. But it happens regardless. It's important to try NEW places.

Also important: Understanding that there are more places than you probably think there are. And that the nature of those places isn't always physical. You want to meet people? People who care, who will be there to help you? You're in the right place. Right here, this forum. And before you say something like "long-distance friendships don't work", I'll tell you right now: That's a myth, and a craptastic one. I've been on the internet since there's BEEN an internet. Over the years, I"ve made friends. Now, obviously,, some fade for whatever reason. But not all. There are those I know, who I've now known for years. Those who have been there for me in tough times (and same the other way around). Some, I've met in person, often more than once. Some that I can talk to on the phone (though really, talking via the Net is fine by me). As long as you're careful, the Net can be a fantastic place to meet people. Note however that I DO NOT mean social media sites. Those places almost guarantee "fake" friendships, not real ones. Exactly why I myself never bother with them.

But yeah, this very place here is a fantastic starting point. Hell, come talk to me if you want. I'm not always the most exciting person to talk to (particularly if I'm having a high-pain day, I have trouble processing much of anything when that's going on), but dagnabit, I actually care. And I'm willing to try to help with any situation, or just be someone to lean on.

And I think you'll find that plenty of others on this same site would gladly offer the same things.

There's a bit more that I could talk about here, but this post will be like 20 pages long if I keep going too much. Best not to overload it, really.

Anyway, that's just some of my thoughts on the matter. What you do with this advice is up to you. And that's the key word there: "up to you". One way or another, no matter what advice or assistance comes your way… only YOU can take the actions that will lead to a change in your situation.