Some Of Us Are Not Made To Connect.

[Captain Caveman]

Does not matter.

 

[KevinMao133]

Truth

 

[Shamar]

Does not matter.

I cannot connect, despite wanting to (you have been around long enough, you probably already know that). Now that I know WHY, I can live without it.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Pretty much the stereotypical autism experience. I can mask. I can act it out. I can be polite, respectful, helpful, a leader, a mentor, a person people come to for advice, I can be social, but at the end of the day, deep down, I know I am not going to make a meaningful connection with anyone, even my own children, my siblings, my parents. It's OK. It is what it is. I love my wife, but I highly suspect it's a bit different than how my wife loves me. I can't describe it, but it just appears to be different. I have a lot of habitual behavior around her, the hugs, the kisses, the holding hands, the cuddles, etc. I will never really know. I've accepted it and I don't think about it. I can't allow it to bother me.

 

[Aspychata]

@Neonatal RRT , you explain exactly someone l met years ago. Thank you. It's not that you don't care about your wife, but maybe you just can't step past a certain step in the relationship. l tried so hard to understand this person, and l tried explaining it away as they are cold and uncaring, but maybe they don't have any more to give. So l see why you mask as it's important to her. l loved holding their hand, and just don't know how they felt about it. Your explanation helped open my eyes to a subject that isn't discussed much here. l feel my daughter is like this, and l may have these traits as well. Back to the post.

 

[NB79]

I relate so much, and i wonder if all autistics 'suffer' the same?.
I have seen people getting invested in each other, after some hours together....
That sure is a 'super power' that would be wonderful to have.

 

[Misty Avich]

I can connect to people, especially my family and husband. Very natural there.
Often at work I'm not always told things by people about their problems but everyone else knows. That I feel rather left out with, but if I ask I know it'll look like I'm just being nosy, but it isn't that at all, it's just that I want to feel like an insider. I do love it when people confide in me, even though I'm crap at giving advice but I know advice isn't always what people want anyway. What people want is just someone to sympathise with them and maybe offer to help - which I've done many times when people have confided in me. I do like helping people and I am interested in them. But maybe I seem too dreamy and inattentive so they prefer to confide in people who are more intelligent than me. Or that I don't ask
enough questions. But I'm not really an asker of questions. I'm more of a listener and a sympathiser.

I would like more people to confide in me though. The only people that do find me great to confide in are people who are sensitive and fear criticism, because they know I'll listen and not criticise. Maybe they know I'll forget what they've said so their secrets will be safe with me always lol. Normally I do forget, well I remember the bigger picture but forget the details. And I wouldn't go telling others anyway, unless they've expressed that they know about it too (if the same person had confided in them too).

 

[Rodafina]

Maybe many of us have been living with a too-narrow definition of what it means to connect. There's lots of different ways to connect and it just may look and feel a bit different for us than the way we imagine it feels to others.

Maybe "connection" is just a lack of loneliness - we can connect to our own selves, to the trees and the earth, to an animal, to the stars. I think it's worth it to keep looking and find the right type of connection - something that makes us feel a part of something a bit bigger than just our little ol' selves.