Super independence

[Diana11]

How is that more complicated?

Well, I can't list too much private information here, but you know some AS people are more obvious, others are less, and some of them are only considered "different" but never even notice they have AS.

 

[paloftoon]

. . .

Any of you have ever had a successful relationship with NT without telling your partner that you are Aspie? I found it was very difficult even after I read books and researched about AS. If I knew what he needs, can't do, etc, I think it could have worked so much easier. . . . .

I have started relationships seriously this year with the help of apps. But I don't depend on just the app. I still try to meet with the person soon, and if the person is acting flaky and doesn't want to meet, then they are pretty much not interested for whatever reason.

I don't think I'm like most aspies though either. I connect real well with one person, I might with another one, and a 3rd person I might be decent friends with. Somehow, I have overcome the social struggles I faced as a child- I'm not sure how. Even overcame struggles from the support I had that meant to do well for me only. I guess there's just something within your self that you have to accept that you have to know how to deal with life to maximize your happiness. For me, I have a tendency to be too eager for people. Even though I wasn't good being around people socially initially, my experiences and this tendency have leant themselves to allow me to be more socially appropriate with people in the long term. As I go on, I begin to understand more about the ugliness in life and how there's a lot not under my control. It's not anything I'm doing, but rather a culture of a lack of substance in many cases. I have to realize how to deal with these situations and issues that others may have.

I already have to deal with a racism barrier because either people don't like my race or the general physical stats that come along with that. A lot of people are looking for hookups and don't even care to know a person's name, and I'm not in to that at all. And then if people find out I have this "disability" too soon even though I am probably doing better than many of the others I see out there, they would automatically dismiss me.

People are funny. Some people only want to stay on the Internet and not meet anyone in-person even though they crave that. And then they get frustrated when they don't feel any success using the app. People are always looking at everyone else like a shopping catalog and won't take time to try to get to know a person and consider even just quality friendships- app or no app.

 

[Diana11]

And then if people find out I have this "disability" too soon even though I am probably doing better than many of the others I see out there, they would automatically dismiss me.

People are always looking at everyone else like a shopping catalog and won't take time to try to get to know a person and consider even just quality friendships- app or no app.

I can totally feel your concern. Then when do you tell the person about AS? For me, if he had told me earlier, I think it could have worked better for us, but again, I don't know if he himself knows - although I am pretty sure he did. I know it must be so hard but for a relationship to work between NT and AS, I feel it helps a lot if you share the information. It doesn't have to be as soon as you meet the person, but maybe after a few months or half year. If the person doesn't love you enough, she/he will leave but that would be the best for you if someone who doesn't love you leave you. At least to me, him sharing the information was not going to make me want to leave but was only going to help me utilizing the information to understand his personality better.

I am sorry it's been hard for you but there must be someone who doesn't care about your race and AS. You haven't met the person yet. I am not good with online dating, too, actually, I felt the same as you do. People are comparing others just like when you shop. I prefer and appreciate more human-like connection, too.

 

[Judge]

Thanks for your reply! I totally understand Aspies need solitude. As I wrote above, I gave him lots of space and his own time but it still didn't work out. I don't know how much more time and space I could have given him. And in fact, I like my alone time, too, and that's why it lasted for 2 years. Even I, who like lots of alone time, couldn't take it anymore.

How often do you see your girlfriend?

I haven't been in a relationship for decades. They all failed, and mostly because I never got enough "alone" time. Especially actually living with some of them. But that was at a time when neither they or myself had a clue that I could be on the spectrum of autism.

Basically I gave up on relationships in my early 40s. Not really understanding why until many years later.

 

[Diana11]

I haven't been in a relationship for decades. They all failed, and mostly because I never got enough "alone" time. Especially actually living with some of them. But that was at a time when neither they or myself had a clue that I could be on the spectrum of autism.

Basically I gave up on relationships in my early 40s. Not really understanding why until many years later.

I see. I'm afraid that's what my ex is gonna say in like five years. How much alone time is enough in your case?

 

[Judge]

I see. I'm afraid that's what my ex is gonna say in like five years. How much alone time is enough in your case?

Good question. I never got enough alone time. Hence a string of failed relationships with NT women. Yet had I gotten sufficient "recovery time" alone it might have done wonders for me in retaining such relationships. After all, that alone time allows us to "recharge" on a number of levels.But of course, I'll never really know for sure now.

Socialization remains taxing for me, whether it involve positive or negative interactions.

It's just weird to think that I would figure this out some fifteen years later.

 

[midlife aspie]

In my case, I think we are both on the spectrum. My wife is certainly not like what I've seen, heard, and experienced with other people. We both respect each other's private time, perhaps too much so. I guess a marriage between two Aspies who are roughly equal in their needs would look like a FWB arrangement to an outside NT observer, with the exception of sharing a household and related obligations.

 

[paloftoon]

I can totally feel your concern. Then when do you tell the person about AS? For me, if he had told me earlier, I think it could have worked better for us, but again, I don't know if he himself knows - although I am pretty sure he did.. . .

I am sorry it's been hard for you but there must be someone who doesn't care about your race and AS. You haven't met the person yet. I am not good with online dating, too, actually, I felt the same as you do. People are comparing others just like when you shop. I prefer and appreciate more human-like connection, too.

Well, most people that function high are at much greater risk of just telling people about their (suspected) AS diagnosis. There would be no benefit for them to do so because people would just use it as a crutch or an excuse to treat them less. I know you didn't do that Diane, and you built an authentic relationship with him. This person you talk about may have known or known about a possibility, but maybe didn't want to deal with it or talk to others about it. The consideration of (potential) admission may come off as unnecessarily awkward for many even if trust if built up with a significant other.

You are so wonderful and compassionate that out there, there will be someone, AS or not, who will work out well with you too. It had come to the point where that person with AS that you describe needs to change himself. That is all on him, not you. You did about as much as you could. If you didn't do this, the only other thing you could've done was gone to conferences with him and he could potentially meet other people to open his eyes up to what is really in front of him. Don't look at this as a complete waste of time either, but try to take it as a learning experience that will help you work with other people that you meet with more. Next time when someone has some kind of issue, you will better know how to deal with it.
There are times in our life where we do have to listen and give space, but there also comes that undetermined point in time where you have to politely demand a response or move on. I don't know how I learned this skill despite all the bad advice I'd gotten. Maybe just by getting burned so much and realizing that many of the situations I was in, I did not cause at all.

I think it helps to find activities and conferences because they are interactive, and sometimes learning information and hearing perspectives from other people can teach a person how they really should be. I don't think there's anything more you could've done in your position really. I hope you find someone, and sooner rather than later, because you totally deserve it.

 

[Diana11]

Good question. I never got enough alone time. Hence a string of failed relationships with NT women. Yet had I gotten sufficient "recovery time" alone it might have done wonders for me in retaining such relationships. After all, that alone time allows us to "recharge" on a number of levels.But of course, I'll never really know for sure now.

Socialization remains taxing for me, whether it involve positive or negative interactions.

It's just weird to think that I would figure this out some fifteen years later.

Oh wow, even positive interactions makes you tired?? Listening to real stories from you guys is like finding puzzle pieces. My ex hated to go out. He was fine with me indoor, especially in his familiar environment, but if we go out, he'd start looking exhausted, frustrated, and irritated. He'd tell me we can have nice date night, cancel in the last minutes and want to stay in. It happened too many times. Of course at the beginning, I never knew why he'd do such things. After a while, I started to figure things out but I didn't know it might have been affected him that much to go out.

On the other hand, he'd do well for his work even if he has to go to unfamiliar places and meet people he doesn't know. This part didn't really make sense.

Also, it seemed like he was fine to go out by himself. He wouldn't voluntarily go to crowded places, but he'd go out to eat, walk, etc.

 

[Diana11]

In my case, I think we are both on the spectrum. My wife is certainly not like what I've seen, heard, and experienced with other people. We both respect each other's private time, perhaps too much so. I guess a marriage between two Aspies who are roughly equal in their needs would look like a FWB arrangement to an outside NT observer, with the exception of sharing a household and related obligations.

Somehow I thought you were female. OK, you were talking about your wife being like you, too. FWB..... No I would never be satisfied with that. However, it does sound a bit familiar. I knew he had feelings for me, so I did not think he wanted FWB arrangement, but what we had was definitely a lot less interactions than regular NT relationships.

That is great you've found the one!

 

[Diana11]

Well, most people that function high are at much greater risk of just telling people about their (suspected) AS diagnosis. There would be no benefit for them to do so because people would just use it as a crutch or an excuse to treat them less. I know you didn't do that Diane, and you built an authentic relationship with him. This person you talk about may have known or known about a possibility, but maybe didn't want to deal with it or talk to others about it. The consideration of (potential) admission may come off as unnecessarily awkward for many even if trust if built up with a significant other.

You are so wonderful and compassionate that out there, there will be someone, AS or not, who will work out well with you too. It had come to the point where that person with AS that you describe needs to change himself. That is all on him, not you. You did about as much as you could. If you didn't do this, the only other thing you could've done was gone to conferences with him and he could potentially meet other people to open his eyes up to what is really in front of him. Don't look at this as a complete waste of time either, but try to take it as a learning experience that will help you work with other people that you meet with more. Next time when someone has some kind of issue, you will better know how to deal with it.
There are times in our life where we do have to listen and give space, but there also comes that undetermined point in time where you have to politely demand a response or move on. I don't know how I learned this skill despite all the bad advice I'd gotten. Maybe just by getting burned so much and realizing that many of the situations I was in, I did not cause at all.

I think it helps to find activities and conferences because they are interactive, and sometimes learning information and hearing perspectives from other people can teach a person how they really should be. I don't think there's anything more you could've done in your position really. I hope you find someone, and sooner rather than later, because you totally deserve it.

It is very sad if you are experiencing what you wrote. I feel your pain. At the same time, though, I wonder if you could be missing your chances with someone who would love you, because you aren't sharing the information. I really believe the biggest reason why my ex and I did not work out was because I did not know about his needs enough. I did search about AS in general, but you know all AS people are different. We have no choice but to misunderstand AS people if we don't know. There were times when I almost thought my ex was a jerk lol. When I figured out he might be AS and innocently doing things he does, I was able to consume it correctly.

>It had come to the point where that person with AS that you describe needs to change himself. That is all on him, not you. You did about as much as you could. If you didn't do this, the only other thing you could've done was gone to conferences with him and he could potentially meet other people to open his eyes up to what is really in front of him.

Is it even possible for him to change? I thought it is almost impossible for AS people to change?

Yes, I feel I did as much as I could. Taking him to conference is... I think impossible. He wouldn't do it. I was also too afraid to do so because he is fully grown and I felt it probably is not my place to possibly change his life like that. If I was sure that I could change his life in a positive way, of course I'd do it but I hear some AS people get very depressed after being diagnosed. I couldn't take the chance to negatively change his life.

Anyway, thank you very much for your kind words. I hope we both will find someone soon

 

[Guppyfry]

On the other hand, he'd do well for his work even if he has to go to unfamiliar places and meet people he doesn't know. This part didn't really make sense.

Also, it seemed like he was fine to go out by himself. He wouldn't voluntarily go to crowded places, but he'd go out to eat, walk, etc.

Work is different - there are clear roles in work interactions, and one can put on a work persona. I have no problems taking calls at work, and enjoy a bit of chit chat with the people I work with, but I never, ever, ever answer the phone at home, or call people - at home, I can be myself, it is my safe place where I can control the outside world and keep it from invading. Knowing that I have this control at home over the phone makes it easier to use the phone when I'm at work, because it is work - the phones are there for work purposes, and they are a tool for work.

I may make a call at home maybe once a month - if that. Most of my communications is through email. The phone ringing feels like someone is trying to break down my front door and invade. I hate it, it sends me into an anxiety attack. I let it ring. No one is coming into my space un-invited!

I also find positive interactions draining, even with people I consider good friends, even with people who know that I have asperger's and give me a lot of leeway and don't judge me (wouldn't consider them friends otherwise). But I freeze up and can't be myself if I go somewhere with someone. Different energy, different dynamic, and I have to focus on other things than what I set out to do (the other things being the other person, even if it is a friend, the entire situation is now completely different and a zillion of other processes are taking place that do not occur if I'm by myself, and is too draining!).

 

[Diana11]

Work is different - there are clear roles in work interactions, and one can put on a work persona. I have no problems taking calls at work, and enjoy a bit of chit chat with the people I work with, but I never, ever, ever answer the phone at home, or call people - at home, I can be myself, it is my safe place where I can control the outside world and keep it from invading. Knowing that I have this control at home over the phone makes it easier to use the phone when I'm at work, because it is work - the phones are there for work purposes, and they are a tool for work.

I may make a call at home maybe once a month - if that. Most of my communications is through email. The phone ringing feels like someone is trying to break down my front door and invade. I hate it, it sends me into an anxiety attack. I let it ring. No one is coming into my space un-invited!

I also find positive interactions draining, even with people I consider good friends, even with people who know that I have asperger's and give me a lot of leeway and don't judge me (wouldn't consider them friends otherwise). But I freeze up and can't be myself if I go somewhere with someone. Different energy, different dynamic, and I have to focus on other things than what I set out to do (the other things being the other person, even if it is a friend, the entire situation is now completely different and a zillion of other processes are taking place that do not occur if I'm by myself, and is too draining!).

Are you my ex!? lol

This sounds a lot like him. Although he never explained anything like this to me, but this is probably something he would say.

He does exceptionally well at work. There was a huge gap in between him at work and in private. He is sky high level at work and he is like a 5 year old boy in private. He also hated to talk on the phone.

I felt hurt often when he would go out by himself but I guess I shouldn't have. I knew he hated to go out, so I tried not to ask him to go out with me too much, but he would tell me when he goes out by himself and it made me feel hurt. I even doubted if he went out alone or maybe he had another woman or something. Now it's not possible for me to know what it really was but it could be exactly what you explained.

By the way, do you prefer to keep friendship after a relationship is over? In this case, it was really hard to keep the friendship because I still miss him and he is the one who made the final decision to separate but I still wonder if I should have at least kept the friendship with him.

 

[Guppyfry]

Are you my ex!? lol

Is your ex a 53 year old woman? LOL?

I've never been in, or tried for, a real relationship - thinking back, I always fell for men that were unavailable (emotionally immature, or married, or one guy whom I suspect had AS himself, but didn't know it and thus stayed very emotionally distant), mostly because having a relationship scared the pants off me! But in general I don't reach out and maintain friendships with friends if our paths ceased to cross on a regular basis. Like a friend at work who was let go, or friends from my dog club who stopped coming to the club. I liked them, I enjoyed their company in the context of shared interests and activities, I appreciated their acceptance of me as a friend, but I don't need them, as heartless as it sounds.

Part of it is that social contact outside of those shared activities (like work, or dog training), feels like a trap. it feels like I have to set time aside and go out into the real world and deal with all the stressors. I have to expand energy to talk, to interact. I feel like I'm loosing out on my time that I need to be alone and recuperate from work and other required activities, and that time I will never get back. Extra activities that weren't planned are stressful. I can't see any good reason why I would leave my home (I have a bit of acreage out in the boonies - the quiet, the isolation, and the privacy it brings is very important to me), and drive and deal with other cars' noise and headlights and constant requirement of my attention to drive safely to sit in a noisy place with background noise for a chat over coffee, when I can barely hear over the talking of other people (Aspies don't have the ability to filter out background noise, even if you are sitting next to me and talking in my ear, it will just be a muddle). I'm getting stressed and angry just at the thought of all that I have to put myself though to maintain a friendship. I don't think people realize what a huge effort it takes to just go out an be in the world.

Of course, I'm talking about myself - your ex may have other reasons for being the way he is, but don't feel that he is being rude or ignoring you - he is functioning to the limit of his ability to cope.

I would love it if a friend offered to come and walk with me when I take my dog for a walk in the woods, or asked to come to our club and watch us train, but so far these are things that people are not interested in doing.

 

[paloftoon]

Oh wow, even positive interactions makes you tired?? Listening to real stories from you guys is like finding puzzle pieces. My ex hated to go out. He was fine with me indoor, especially in his familiar environment, but if we go out, he'd start looking exhausted, frustrated, and irritated. He'd tell me we can have nice date night, cancel in the last minutes and want to stay in. It happened too many times. Of course at the beginning, I never knew why he'd do such things. After a while, I started to figure things out but I didn't know it might have been affected him that much to go out.

On the other hand, he'd do well for his work even if he has to go to unfamiliar places and meet people he doesn't know. This part didn't really make sense.

Also, it seemed like he was fine to go out by himself. He wouldn't voluntarily go to crowded places, but he'd go out to eat, walk, etc.

Well traveling for work and with you are two different "states of being." I think the pressure of being in a loving relationship and displaying that in public may've been pressure for him, whereas he didn't have to show that in a work environment. Even though similar, they are quite different in that sense. This also tells you that yes, he can get out, but he did not want to grow out of his old habits of wanting to in his little shell of a world. Like a child that doesn't want to grow up. He probably should stay single. It's very sad. Don't let him hold you back from a great future of knowledge and happiness for yourself.

 

[paloftoon]

It is very sad if you are experiencing what you wrote. I feel your pain. At the same time, though, I wonder if you could be missing your chances with someone who would love you, because you aren't sharing the information. I really believe the biggest reason why my ex and I did not work out was because I did not know about his needs enough. I did search about AS in general, but you know all AS people are different. We have no choice but to misunderstand AS people if we don't know. There were times when I almost thought my ex was a jerk lol. When I figured out he might be AS and innocently doing things he does, I was able to consume it correctly.

Well I would share the information, but not right away. I would have to get to know the person first to trust them with my experiences and thoughts on why I am the way I am. Also, how I have changed and why I think it's not a big deal, and how/if there are advantages in my position. Also, how did I end up with the diagnosis in the first place. There's definitely a time and place, and it's not right away. It should be when I'm deep with someone in some way and before I get married.

>It had come to the point where that person with AS that you describe needs to change himself. That is all on him, not you. You did about as much as you could. If you didn't do this, the only other thing you could've done was gone to conferences with him and he could potentially meet other people to open his eyes up to what is really in front of him.

>>Is it even possible for him to change? I thought it is almost impossible for AS people to change?
Like any human being, everyone is different. It's possible for many people to change, but change isn't easy.

>>Yes, I feel I did as much as I could. Taking him to conference is... I think impossible. He wouldn't do it. I was also too afraid to do so because he is fully grown and I felt it probably is not my place to possibly change his life like that. If I was sure that I could change his life in a positive way, of course I'd do it but I hear some AS people get very depressed after being diagnosed. I couldn't take the chance to negatively change his life.

Well now that you aren't together with him, or if you are about to break up, if you want to attempt friendship, this would be the way to go about it. You could tell him 1-1 in a note or e-mail that you'd want to consider a friendship if he attends such a such a conference with you. You are at a point where you can be "more forceful" with nothing to lose. In the mean time, move on with your life.

. . .

 

[Judge]

When I think of the mental and emotional resources it took to routinely deal with the stresses of a highly dynamic job for so many years, it made me realize that at home I was much more likely to let my guard down in intimate relationships. Much more vulnerable. So while my status at work never diminished, my relationships would eventually go down the drain.

I wasn't "juggling" them. I put all my efforts into work...so by the time I got home I had nothing to fall back on.

So much for super, let alone independence.

 

[WereBear]

I think there are several strategies my NT husband and I use which help us be close with each other in ways we both like:

• We can be in the room together, but doing our own things.
• We alert each other to tasks which require concentration, when we don't want to be disturbed.
• We create appointments for movie watching or going out to dinner
• We can go to things, but one of us can withdraw to quieter areas if needed

His thing is that he is an artist, writer, and musician, so he's also used to spending lots of time alone with himself. Also, he has a chronic illness, and totally understands not having enough energy, or going somewhere that is draining.

It would be difficult for our relationship to work if he were a gigging musician who travels all over and hangs in noisy and crowded places. But seeking out people who value solitude and concentration, and understand that it can happen with both of us in the room together: that's so easy.

 

[Chiefersis]

Hello, this is my first post here. Nice to meet you all here!

So, I dated this guy for 2 years. At the beginning, I felt something was a little different about him, but I didn't care, because he was so hot, smart and charming. In fact, he is totally a genius type. Long story short, he turned out to be a super independent man and almost workaholic. He was always too busy to see me and we saw each other only once a month and had to skip all the fun events, etc, too, but insisted that he misses me very much. Yes he IS a busy man, but it got to the point where I started doubting his reasoning.

I am not going to list everything that made me think he might be on the spectrum, but I did so much searches, even talked with a professional in the field, and I am pretty sure he is. He had signs of both Aspergers and ADHD. He didn't seem to know, or maybe he did know because once he told me he feels he was different from others, but never told me he was on the spectrum. He actually took the fact that he is different in a positive way, which is great, but sometimes it gave me troubles, because he wouldn't admit his differences (traits) were giving me headaches because of the fact he took them too positive.

So, after about a year, my doubt (that he might be on the spectrum) came up to me. I still liked him and wanted to find out how we can get along better.

I think it is fine to keep some distance at the beginning stage of dating, but after a few month, the couple starts to feel closer. With him, the distance never got closer as the time went by. He wouldn't let me get closer emotionally. Contradictorily (at least to me), he really wanted me to stay. I knew that he needed a lot of space, so I gave him a lot of space. I even usually waited until he messaged me. I stopped saying I wanted to see him until he asked. After all my effort not to interfere with his space, I started to feel very lonely and tired of wanting more. I got really frustrated, and wrote him a letter. I loved him very much but needed him to let me get closer and if that's not possible, I couldn't take it anymore. Long story short again, after he contemplated for a long time, he told me to move on.

Well, I know that I should move on. I know he did not love me enough to take me in. I know I couldn't take it anymore. It's been over half year but I still keep thinking about him. If I knew he was on the spectrum from the beginning, I could have avoided getting hurt again and again, and could have understood him better.

Was there any possibility I missed to have him closer to me? I know isolation is one of the possible traits of people on the spectrum, but if you find someone you love, is it something you can change? Or is it just how he is and will be?

If there was nothing I could have done, please give me any advice for me to move on. Thank you.

he could have had several conditions that may lead to this "Super independent" behavior Aspies aren't the only people who want some space. There is a thing called schizoid personality disorder which is also on a spectrum these people also need a lot of space but are rarely charming. Not to be pessimistic but the fact that he though Symptoms are too positive may suggest that he has a mild case of narcissistic personality disorder which is more in line with being very charming and has a high comorbidity with ADHD. A very rare condition is Antisocial personality disorder aka. Psychopathy has high comorbidity with ADHD are very charming consider themselves to be really different but always fifty times Better than anyone else. just because someone is weird doesn't mean they are on the autism spectrum.

 

[Diana11]

Is your ex a 53 year old woman? LOL?

I've never been in, or tried for, a real relationship - thinking back, I always fell for men that were unavailable (emotionally immature, or married, or one guy whom I suspect had AS himself, but didn't know it and thus stayed very emotionally distant), mostly because having a relationship scared the pants off me! But in general I don't reach out and maintain friendships with friends if our paths ceased to cross on a regular basis. Like a friend at work who was let go, or friends from my dog club who stopped coming to the club. I liked them, I enjoyed their company in the context of shared interests and activities, I appreciated their acceptance of me as a friend, but I don't need them, as heartless as it sounds.

Part of it is that social contact outside of those shared activities (like work, or dog training), feels like a trap. it feels like I have to set time aside and go out into the real world and deal with all the stressors. I have to expand energy to talk, to interact. I feel like I'm loosing out on my time that I need to be alone and recuperate from work and other required activities, and that time I will never get back. Extra activities that weren't planned are stressful. I can't see any good reason why I would leave my home (I have a bit of acreage out in the boonies - the quiet, the isolation, and the privacy it brings is very important to me), and drive and deal with other cars' noise and headlights and constant requirement of my attention to drive safely to sit in a noisy place with background noise for a chat over coffee, when I can barely hear over the talking of other people (Aspies don't have the ability to filter out background noise, even if you are sitting next to me and talking in my ear, it will just be a muddle). I'm getting stressed and angry just at the thought of all that I have to put myself though to maintain a friendship. I don't think people realize what a huge effort it takes to just go out an be in the world.

Of course, I'm talking about myself - your ex may have other reasons for being the way he is, but don't feel that he is being rude or ignoring you - he is functioning to the limit of his ability to cope.

I would love it if a friend offered to come and walk with me when I take my dog for a walk in the woods, or asked to come to our club and watch us train, but so far these are things that people are not interested in doing.

I forgot you are a woman! lol

>I always fell for men that were unavailable (emotionally immature, or married, or one guy whom I suspect had AS himself, but didn't know it and thus stayed very emotionally distant), mostly because having a relationship scared the pants off me!

I actually have the similar issue. In my case, I think it's because I am tired of dating or something, I don't know. Dating scares me, too. I am not AS, but I have social problems and am not good with interacting with people either. In fact, I took the Aspie test and it said and I highly likely to be Aspie in the "social" category. I am not aspie overall, but I am close to aspie in terms of the social skill. Not even close to the level you mentioned above, but social interactions makes me tired, too.

It's hard to imagine the things you have to go through. It is surprising no one is interested in walking with you plus your dog, etc, because I would totally do it I love walking and I love dogs