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The last thing that made you laugh

AsheSkyler said:
Easy, dude. I'm a Southern redneck, remember? If you wanna trash racists, go ahead, but don't lump me and other innocent people into that category just because we're rednecks. We come in a variety of flavors but media, being the ignorant inflammatory media it's known for, only shows the bad ones because nobody is interested in the normal ones.
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My apologies. I live in the south too and where I am, I've been completely surrounded by "the bad ones", as you put it, my entire life and they made my life hell growing up. Can you blame me for being snarky?
 
I've had a lot of injuries this year; I've injured my shoulder, hurt my knee, tore my calf and a few others.
Funnily enough, I actually saw the same guy who helped me with my shoulder when I later had my knee problem. I remember going into his office and this conversation happened:

Michael: Oh! I know you.
Doctor: Yes. How's your shoulder?
Michael: Oh, it's good thank you. You really helped with that. However, I've hurt my knee - am I in the wrong place?
Doctor: No no - I do shoulders and knees.

(Now at that point as I'm sure you'll understand, it was very difficult for me not to say "...and toes?".
But he hadn't heard the rhyme! What kind of a lunatic? I thought everyone knew it. As such, this happened).

Doctor: No...I do shoulders and knees.
Michael: Knees and toes.
Doctor: I don't do toes. Have you got a problem with your toes - I can recommend someone.
Michael: No no, I just thought if you did shoulders and knees, do you do knees and toes.
Doctor: No, I don't do toes.
Michael: What about heads?
Doctor: Why would I do heads? There's no joints in the head - I'm a joint specialist. I do shoulders and knees.
Michael: Knees and toes.
Doctor: I don't do toes!
Michael: What about *sings* Eyes and ears and mouth and nose.
Doctor: How many things are wrong with you?! I do shoulders and knees!
Michael: Knees and toes.
Doctor: GET OUT!!
 
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dudeman said:
My apologies. I live in the south too and where I am, I've been completely surrounded by "the bad ones", as you put it, my entire life and they made my life hell growing up. Can you blame me for being snarky?
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So long as you don't blame me, I don't care. I believe in karma, even if she takes her own sweet time sometimes. :p

If you're ever down this way, we should see about a fishing trip and a barbecue (or fish fry, if you're like me and not too keen on pleasure fishing, or if you're full vegetarian we'll go find a good garden with ripe stuff for a semi-leisurely day of strolling and picking), or at least a good meal. Let ya get the proper treatment at least once so it's not all bad memories.
 
images
 
The Simpsons: You Only Move Twice. I'd never seen that episode and I think it just made my list of favorites. Now I kinda wish they'd used Hank Scorpio in the movie like they originally planned. Maybe in the next one...
 
My glasses got sat on and broken today - that's another story as to how but, I had to go get new ones. The attendant at the one hour eyeglasses place told me it would be two hours as they were busy and, I do wear progressive lenses. No problem 1.5 hours is normal for my prescription and, I had some shopping I wanted to do in the same shopping center.

I returned three hours later only to be told it would be two more hours before my glasses would be done. I wasn't having that so I "entertained" the staff and customers alike (mostly elderly at that hour of the day) with a little music. I guess they didn't like death metal - before I got to the third song, my glasses were ready along with a profuse apology and, a smiling store manager telling me "No charge, Ma'am." LOL

I'll bet they behave much better next time I go in for glasses.
 
Fire safety from 1979 - showing you how to prevent a fire; presented as a bit of a sing along. :D



And now a funny yet informative animation about what to do if your house does set on fire and you're stuck upstairs.



(Since what they're making fun of is quite a serious thing, it might be best for you to check your smoke alarms after watching).
 
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Some time ago a customer told me her coffee sleeve broke apart when she came to the counter. I rang her coffee through.

Just before the lady left the store, I told her, "Gotta give the sleeve manufacturer trouble for that!" I actually said something else in place of the word "trouble" though!

"Yeah," she replied, with a giggle and a smile, when leaving the store.
 
There comes a time in life when a manly man's got to do what a manly man's got to do, even if it means having his nether-regions explored by a total stranger with a tiny flashlight and camera. For me, that time came two years ago but like many manly men, I put it off. The reason is simple. Many men would rather eat dirt than go to the doctor. In fact, many manly men have probably eaten dirt hoping it would cure whatever ailed them so they didn't have to go to the doctor.
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If it'd work, I'd eat dirt too!
 
not counting things that actually try to get you to laugh (comedy on TV for example)....... just going by real life things where i would be showing an emotion in public..
preposterousness..

for example.. i work with somebody who generally strolls into work around 2pm. everybody is aware of it... so if somebody makes a slip of memory and asks "do you think they'll be in around 8am tomorrow?" i'll instantly laugh. and usually they'll follow with something like "yeah, i forgot who i was talking about for a minute there"
 
I don't want to get old - I mean, who does?
One thing that really bothers me when you become a pensioner is the adverts you have to put up with when you're watching the television.

For example, you'll be enjoying a film then the adverts come on and the first one that appears is Michael Parkinson saying "Have you thought about your funeral yet? Make sure you get some money paid in for your funeral or we'll cart you off in a bin bag".

So the film comes back on, then during the next set of adverts it's a woman in a business suit saying "Have you had an accident? Do you want one? Meet us at the bottom of your street tomorrow and we'll have you run over by a bus, then ring our team of lawyers and we'll get you some compensation".

So the film comes back on, then during the third set of adverts is another woman whizzing up and down on a stairlift!
Seriously, where are they getting this stuff from?!
 
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